Jihun wasn't jealous. At least that's what he tried to convince himself. But it was hard. Watching Seungjun getting so cozy with Inseong made his stomach twist. Why did he have to meet Seungjun before him? But they were friends. He couldn't let his feelings in the way of their job. He would just make it awkward for them all. He knew the tall boy didn't like him this way. He had to concentrate. But he stumbled over his feet and fell face first on the floor. It wasn't new for him to find himself on the ground. But not while dancing. That was his field. Why did he fuck up such an easy move? While he was on the floor Heejun came to help him.

"Yo, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I didn't hit my head unfortunately."

"That's not what I'm talking about." Jihun looked confused but before he got the chance to say anything the maknae continued.

"It's not like you to get moves wrong. You choreographed it. What's on your mind?" He looked at Heejun but saw that all eyes were on him. Youjin came and helped him get up. The leader was disappointed in himself. The looks of worry on Heejun's and Youjin's face were making it worse. He looked at Inseong and Seungjun. They stopped playing around and watched him.

"I'm ok. Seriously. I'm just tired. Sorry. Let's do it again." They did the dance again and this time there were no mistakes. It was like every other time. Jihun and Heejun moved skillfully, Youjin and Inseong paid attention to their steps, but that didn't affect the way they moved and Seungjun was a bit rigid but everything ended alright. When they were done they went back to take a shower and get ready to sleep. Jihun decided to be the last one in the shower because he needed a long one. It always helped him relax. He was laying on his bed with his headphones on listening to music when he felt his bed shift under the weight of someone else. He looked to see a wet Seungjun with only a white towel around his waist. It wasn't anything unusual in a house full of men but that didn't stop the blush spreading on his face. He looked away trying to hide his face while taking the headphones off. "Kimchi, are you ok?" The boy looked genuinely worried.

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"Well you aren't often like this, and most of the time it's my fault when you're mad. Did I do something wrong?" Oh, poor innocent Seungjun. He couldn't tell him that he is sad because his feelings won't ever be returned or that he was jealous of his relationship with Inseong. Jihun got up and stroked the other's man back gently.

"You didn't do anything wrong hyung. I'm just trying to sort some things out with myself. You don't have to worry or blame yourself." He knew it often happened to get mad at Seungjun but hearing it from him made the younger one feel bad.

"Sorry for making you think that it's your fault. It's just.." He stopped when he heard the door opening revealing Inseong.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I came to tell you that I'm done showering and that you can go now. Did I interrupt anything?"

"No, it's ok. I just came to talk to Kimchi but it wasn't anything secret." Jihun felt embarrassed and for some reason angry. He got up quickly and went out of the room pushing Inseong out of his way. Seungjun was rather shocked by their leader's behaviour while Inseong just stood there watching Jihun's back. Once he got in the bathroom the blonde one let out a frustrated growl. He looked himself in the mirror.

"You aren't like this Kim Jihun. What's gotten into you?" He thought it was the voice in his head until he saw Youjin's reflection in the mirror beside him. "Y-you.. You saw that?" he looked at the ground like a sad puppy.

"I did. I was on my way to ask you what would you like to eat tonight and I saw you pushing Inseong. You are the leader. You shouldn't act like that."

"I know, ok? I know I fucked up again. It's just.. I can't stand the idea of Seungjun and Inseong getting along so well. I know it's none of my business but it still annoys me. And who the fuck thought it was a good idea to make me the leader?" He was getting angry and he started shouting. He had to stop. It wasn't Youjin's fault. He watched the older man's expression changing. He was disappointed. Youjin was like their parent and really, who feels good when their parent is looking at them like that?

"I'm sorry Youjin-hyung. I'm sorry for making a scene and shouting at you. And most importantly I'm sorry for being such a shitty leader. I should not act like this." He was back to watching the floor. He'd rather fall a million times like today than see his friend looking so disappointed. Youjin got closer and tried to hug the younger one. It was clear that he was uncomfortable but he felt bad for the kid. Jihun appreciates it and he hugged Youjin back.

"You'd make such a great leader." The older one immediately stepped back and looked at Jihun laughing.

"And having to deal with your shit and having to take the blame for all of your actions? No thanks. In case you forgot you are all 5 years old kids with way too much energy and dramas." For the first time today Jihun laughed for real.

"Thank you."

"But I still have something to say. You have to talk to Inseong. He did nothing wrong. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Ok?" Jihun knew it. Inseong was such a great guy. He was practically the fucking sunshine. He deserved so much more.

"Yeah. I will. Now if you excuse me, I have to take a shower." Youjin laughed and left. The boy hopped in the shower and turned on the water while thinking. He liked Seungjun really much, but he knew Inseong was so much better than him. He'd make Seungjun much more happier than Jihun could ever imagine himself to. He was aware that he was a complicated guy. He had his problems and habits and he made the older man think he's always pissed at him. He wasn't ready to give up entirely on his hyung, but if Inseong made him happy that's all that matters. He didn't even realize he started crying until Heejun asked him panicked about what's wrong. What is with this boys always walking in in the worst moments?

"Hyung, are you ok? What happened?" Jihun didn't even look at the younger one while he got out and patted his body with the towel. He put his boxers on and a large white shirt.

"You know you can talk to me right? Is it about Seungjun-hyung? " When the blonde boy blushed Heejun knew he was right.

"W-what are you talking about? What made you think that?"

"Oh, come on, it's so obvious that I'm shocked he didn't realize." he started laughing but he saw Jihun was getting panicked.

"It's ok. It's just me and Youjin who know about that. Don't worry."

When he saw the other one relax a little he continued.

"You should really tell him. He is oblivious to everything. He won't get it until you say it to his face. Maybe draw it for him."

"And that's exactly how I want it to be. I don't want him to know. I don't want him to feel like I betrayed his friendship. Just imagine how weird it'll be after he rejects me. We are roommates. It would be way to awkward to share a room after that. He definitely can't know." He thought about how Seugjun would react. Just imagining his crush turning him down hurt him.

"Well, you do you. I'm just saying it'd be better if all of this tension would disappear. I miss how we were back then. And you should really stop hating on Inseong. Or at least try to hide it. Hyung is always sad and is always thinking about what he did wrong to you. You were such great friends before and he misses that."

Well, he doesn't show it when he's all up on Seungjun he thought.

"Yeah. I should go talk to him now. Sorry for making everything so weird in the group. It's just something that I can't control. I'm going now. Thanks a lot. For everything. Really."

"It's ok. I'm going to help Youjin with the dinner anyways so you can have some privacy with Inseong. Good luck." With that the maknae left Jihun all alone with his thoughts. What should he say? How should he act around the other man? He didn't know but he decided he'd just go and try something before he changes his mind. He went to Inseong's and Heejun's room and stayed awkwardly in front of the door for like a minute to gather his courage. Why is it so stressful to just have a conversation with one of his bestfriends ever? He finally entered the room just to find Seungjun carefully hugging Inseong. He was angry and he was sure anybody could see it but he wanted to hide it. He wanted his friend back.

"Uh.. I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?" Seungjun got up and Inseong hid his face. The oldest went and faced the blonde boy with a disappointed look then got out of the room. When did Seungjun start to look at him with those eyes? Something wasn't right and he felt it.

"Can I sit next to you for a moment?" When the other boy nodded his head he went and got a sit trying to face him but Inseong tried to avoid his face from being seen. And the Jihun realized he fucked up big time. His hyung, the happiest man alive, the sunshine was crying.

"No, Inseong. What happened?" it was the first time he saw him crying and it hurt.

"N-nothing" he wiped his tears and tried to smile at the younger boy but it was probably the most miserable thing he ever saw.

"I'm fine, see?" It broke Jihun's heart to see Inseong like this. He liked Seungjun a lot (maybe too much) but he never imagined seeing his friend like this and it was because of him. He momentarily forgot about his crush and hugged Inseong so tight he was shocked the other man was still breathing.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I've been a dick to you and I really feel bad. You don't deserve this shit. Please if you can't forgive me at least stop crying." He'd rather have Inseong punch him in the face than see him cry for even one more second.

"Stop it Jihun. Don't say this. You have your problems and I get it. It's probably myself anyways." Why the fuck did he have to be so kind. Congrats Jihun, you hurt the loveliest man alive and he's blaming himself. Be sure to put that on your dumbest moments list.

"It's just.. I'd really like to know what I did wrong so I won't repeat it. I really love you and knowing I'm dumb enough to make you this mad at me makes me think I don't deserve you as my friend. But I still want it. And I miss you a lot." He looked down while playing with his shirt. He only did that when he was really stressed out so the younger started to worry.

"You didn't do anything wrong believe me. Please don't blame yourself for my shitty actions. I was horrible to you and I know it. I really am sorry. It's just. I'm a mess. And when I can't deal with my own shit I take it out on the ones around me. I apologize for making you sad. I'm such a dumbass." He looked at Inseong to see any type of reaction and stiffened up when he saw the other man look at him with probably tho most serious face he's ever seen. God, he won't forgive me.

"Kim Jihun. Since when did you start to swear so much? You know how many money you should put in the swear jar just from this conversation? You'll just end up broke if you keep it up like this. What if you swear on a live or in front of the fans?" it was obvious he wanted to go on but Jihun just hugged him and laughed.

"Young boy, do you think I'm joking?" but he hugged him back. It was surprising how Inseong acted like their mom sometimes but he loved every second of it. He was so glad he finally sorted everything out. For 20 more minutes they just joked around and laughed their asses off and when Youjin came in to tell them to come eat they were both on the floor. It felt so natural. They got up and on the way to the kitchen Youjin patted Jihun's back like a proud father. Seungjun was already at the table waiting his food like a child. He looked at Jihun with the same expression as earlier until he saw him talk normally to Inseong ad he aw the latter one laughing. Jihun decided he was too tired to think about it for the moment. They just ate and for the first time in the last month everything was back to normal and everyone was happy. After they finished everyone left the kitchen except from Youjin and Heejun who said they'll stay to clean the mess they always made. For a moment before he left for his own room Jihun just stayed in front of the kitchen watching the oldest and the maknae just make jokes and have fun until Seungjun caught his attention.

"Kimchi, we should go to our room. It's getting late and we have to wake up early tomorrow."

"Yeah, you're right.." He looked back at the kitchen for a second and smiled. He missed this peace. When they were back in their room Jihun just went directly to bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

"Thank you leader."