Commander Kelly Shepard sat at her personal terminal in her quarters. This place was nicknamed the loft and Shepard rather liked it. She was the only person on this level so it let her have some time alone. She switched off the screen, having already read her messages. She glanced at her desk frowning as she realized how little there was. She had a small case that showed the medals she'd received in her service. Many of them she'd gotten when she'd fought Saren. Looking back those days seemed so simple compared to what she was dealing with now.
Shepard brushed a bit of her lose brown hair out of her eyes. Her mother had sent her a message back when she'd become a Specter telling her that she looked like she never brushed her hair. She just didn't have time for that. Really she did brush her hair, it just never stayed very neat. She frowned down at her black and white uniform. She needed to change them, maybe some blue. Blue reminded her of him. It was the reason why she'd made her armor blue, keeping black accents. She'd liked the style and that was all that mattered.
She glanced a bit to the left of the awards and frowned at the picture. She reached out and grabbed the top of the frame, moving it so that the picture was face down. She didn't want to see his face. Sure, it had been two years and he'd thought she was dead, but she'd at least expected a more happy reunion. Oh well, it didn't matter now. So Kaidon hadn't wanted to be a part of her team, she would do fine without him. Besides, she had a better man to love. She made a note to have the picture replaced some time with one of her new man.
Shepard turned her gaze to the area a bit over her desk, looking at the ship models that she'd bought so far. She had been given the model of the Normandy, but she'd bought the others on her own. She frowned at the model she'd bought of Sovereign. She wasn't sure why she'd bought it, and if this fight got as bad as the one against that reaper, she might end up destroying it out of frustration. She glanced toward the model of the Destiny Ascension. She remembered ordering the human fleet to protect the ship, to save the council.
Shepard frowned as she thought of the council. She didn't understand how after Sovereign they could still believe that the reapers weren't real. They had seen it, the fleets had fought one and killed it. There were only more where that came from. She didn't know how many times the council was going to have to find out she was right all along before they were going to trust what she told them. At least they would stay out of her way while she took care of the Collector threat.
Shepard stood from her seat, trying to get her mind off of the current problem. She moved down a bit in her room, glancing to a small table beside her bed, frowning at the partially destroyed helmet that she'd displayed there. She remembered that day, the day she died. She remembered telling Kaidon he had to make sure the crew got out, that she'd save Joker. She would have said something more if she'd known she wouldn't see him for two years. Then again, things had worked out for the better in her case. She remembered going to the pilot's seat, forcing Joker out of his seat and to the escape pod. The next part was a bit fuzzier. Something blew up and she hit the release. She had to save her crew. They had always been loyal and she wouldn't let them die. After that, she remembered floating and then the painful suffocation as her airline broke and she fell toward the planet with the rest of the ship.
It was good now to know it had been a collector ship that had killed her, that now she could properly pay them back for what they did, for the twenty members of her crew that had died on that ship. Shepard clenched her fists, hating to think of those dead. So quickly she had lost so many. She'd made it through all of the fight against Saren and only lost Ashley, but just like the collectors killed 200% more than the Geth and Saren ever could.
Shepard shook her head, trying to remove such old thoughts. Things were different now. She didn't like it, but she was working with Cerberus. She hated them, still didn't trust them, but what was important was that they stop the Collectors and they were willing to fund the operation and give her new information to find and stop them. Once she had beaten the collectors, she would find out what was really going on and stop the Illusive Man. She knew he was trying to pull her strings, but she wasn't really all that easy to get to play along. She wasn't in it for the advancement of humans like they were. She wanted to stop the collectors, and the reapers they were working for. Not for humanity, but for all species.
Shepard moved over to the side of her room, staring into the tank where the innocent fish where swimming about. She hit a button and the system deposited food. She turned and moved back toward her desk, looking up cage that had been put on one of her shelves. There was a tinny little black hamster in its little home, sitting there in the darkness. It sort of reminded her of the reapers, but unlike the machines this mouse was scared. That was why it was in the shadows, trying to stay away from stronger things. She'd affectionately called the little creature Shadow Broker. It was sort of a stupid name, but she didn't care. She liked it and after all she was the one commanding this ship and its crew. She'd call her hamster whatever she wanted.
Shepard though of the crew and smiled a bit. They were all so loyal and they were truly surprising at times. They always had her back and she enjoyed talking to them. Each was an asset to her team. She turned toward the door and left her room, heading to the elevator. She'd go and talk to some of them. That was a better use of her time.