CLEVLAND AND HOBBY: The Alternate Calvin and Hobbes
CHAPTER 1
One day, the six year old boy Calvin and his friend tiger Hobbes were playing with Calvin's toy cars on the sidewalk. "And here comes a race car, zooming 200 miles per hour, against that cement truck!" Calvin yelled. "Oh, no! Now a chocolate truck has to turn around and quickly move out of the way!" Hobbes yelled. "Ka-boosh!" yelled Calvin, letting his red racecar fly in the air. "Um, Calvin?" Hobbes asked, quizzically. "Who are those guys?"
"Oh, it's probably just Susie and her dumb stuffed rabbit," said Calvin. "First of all, it is a bunny. Second of all, he's Mr. Bun. Third of all, they are boys. And fourth of all, one is a lion." "A lion?" Calvin said, dropping his "cement" truck. He turned around to see two guys walking. One was definitely a lion. The other was a boy with spiked hair in the front, a black shirt, and red pants with stripes. "Um, excuse me, but do you live here?" Calvin asked, getting up and brushing his pants.
"I just moved here," said the boy. "My name is Clevland. I used to live in Clevland, Ohio." "Oh, I'm Calvin. My friend Hobbes and I were just playing with trucks," Calvin said. "Hobbes?" laughed the lion. "Oh, don't be so sassy, you!" Hobbes growled. "Your name must be worst." "It's Hobby," Clevland said. Hobbes burst out laughing. "Shut up, Hobbes. His name isn't that much different from yours," Calvin said. "True," Hobbes said. "I see you are playing with some dumb ol' trucks," Clevland said.
"Dumb?" yelled Calvin. "Listen buddy, trucks are NOT dumb unless you use them scientifically." "Ha! You could not compromise the difference between a monetary between a fake, little truck," laughed Clevland. "What do you do? Pick your nose all day?" Hobbes asked. "We spend time in his lab," Hobby said. "We contrast salmon and gelato fish." "Oh, yeah! I make plenty of inventions!" yelled Calvin. "Like what? A spoor?" asked Clevland. "No. A transmogifier/time machine/ duplicator/ethnicator/ cerebal-o-tron," Calvin said. "Don't forget the transmogifier gun," said Hobbes. "Well, I have invented many creations not so… deliberate," Clevland said. "We've combined thing. I also made a cloneanator, thermal change subjection, and a radio teller."
"What the heck is a radio teller?" asked Calvin. "Boy, wouldn't YOY love to know?" asked Clevland. "Come, Hobby, we must go see Susan," waved Clevland. The two left. "I guess we got some new competition on the street," said Hobbes. "Don't worry. We will control this neighborhood," said Calvin. "I thought you said there were more kids here," Hobbes said. "Oh, yes I did. Now I got my wish," grinned Calvin.