If anyone has been wondering where I've been lately, this is it. 3 chapter long sequel to Postmortem, explaining the future we all sadly knew was coming. If you haven't read my other fic, Postmortem, then... you know. Don't read this. ;u; ALSO if you haven't read the one-shot thing Ranowa wrote for it, "Birthday Cake and Broken Hearts Taped Whole", I HIGHLY suggest you do because it's wonderful and gives me life.

CHAPTER 1

"Whether you like it or not, we're going to force you to open the portal. Prepare yourself."

"No, I won't do it!" Roy growled.

"I wonder- what will be taken from you in exchange, Mustang?"

Doubts began to circle through his head, wondering the same question. That was the last thought to brush across his mind before his body was struck with an immeasurable amount of pain as the circle was fully activated. His vision blurred and an agonizing scream was ripped mercilessly through his throat. His back arched against the binds, but still he could not fight against them as every muscle spasmed and cried.

He heard the voices of the others- Hawkeye- calling out to him, but everything was overpowered by the pure power of the circle. The light burst around him, consuming his vision as all sense of self was overwhelmed by raging agony.

Nothing but a hot, searing white.

And then he was back on his feet and his consciousness slowly returned, but enough for him to suddenly realize that he was now somewhere else entirely.

He wasn't in pain anymore, but there was absolutely nothing around him. Perhaps he was too lost and confused to even think about pain. His surroundings were unlike anything he had ever seen. There was just... nothing. Strangely, his eyes did not need to adjust to the sheer white that surrounded him, almost as if he had been disconnected from his scarred body.

He sensed a presence behind him, and Roy spun around to face it, far too disoriented to bother hiding his shock. A figure, about his size, but entirely devoid of any detail; just an empty body stared back. It had no eyes, and yet he could feel it gazing into him as if it knew his every thought and emotion. Behind it, was a large stone door.

It grinned at him and laughed at some unsaid joke that he he must have missed. The door opened, revealing an abyss inside of it. Just staring into that inky darkness set a deep terror in Roy's heart. His eyes widened as he stared into it for a split second, knowing that he wanted to go nowhere near it and yet somehow knowing that he didn't have a choice.

And as if things couldn't get worse, a thin line appeared in the center of the open door that quickly opened and grew into a single eye boring back at him. It was empty and emotionless, and yet somehow alive and hungry and striking him with the terrifying feeling that he had locked eyes with death itself.

He felt himself step away from it, but a hundred black arms shot out from the darkness and effortlessly wrapped around him. His arms immediately rose to yank them off despite them tearing at his skin as he tried to scramble away- where to, he had no idea but more came and more restrained him, overpowering him with their numbers until he was incapable of fighting back any longer.

"No- stop! Stop, get away! Get off- Stop!" he begged desperately and without thought as his senses were dulled by the fearful static that rung in his ears. His heart pounded fiercely as one of his greatest and most recent phobias grew closer and closer to him in spite of his efforts. They dragged him towards the door no matter how much he yelled and begged and pleaded not to bring him back into the darkness.

As he was pulled into it, his eyes caught onto the white figure who only watched and smiled at him, and he somehow knew that thing to be the Truth that Edward had spoken of.

He looked back to see the door shut behind him as he was pulled into the void, and tightly shut his eyes to somehow keep the darkness at bay. But as if he no longer had any control over his body, his eyes flew open and information was flashing before him, pouring into his brain without his consent. But as he stared, feeling it absorb into him, but eyes began to tingle. And a split second later, more of the arms darted towards him from nowhere and aimed straight for his face. A spike of fear shot through his chest as they seemed to want to gouge his eyes. With his arms still restricted, Roy could only flinchingly shut his eyes and close off the images that spiraled around him.

He was falling deeper and deeper into the pit, trying to fight against the arms that kept him from clawing his way back up. He wanted to scream, it was so much- too much. But just as he thought his head would burst, he hit the cold ground.

It was so unfair. Roy was in the center of an event that would shape history forever. That day would have been recorded and retold in textbooks for decades to come. And yet in the moment of truth, on a day that should have been shining with glory, Roy had fallen back into the darkness. He felt and heard life changing events happening around him. The heat of action and alchemically charged battles simmered against his skin, and yet he had been disconnected from it all. The day that he was supposed to grab hold of the reigns of the country and steer it in the right direction was swallowed by shadows, but for no one besides him.

It was very unfair.

If he had lost his sight saving someone's life or in order to defeat the being who had almost murdered the entire country, it would have been better. Microscopically better, but still.

But no. Instead, he had been blinded by their schemes, then cast aside as though his loss meant nothing besides their victory. The world went on, leaving Roy behind for no reason, other than being a tool in another man's game.

At the end of the day, the reason hardly mattered; he would have been mortified either way because he had all of a sudden found himself back there. Only this time, he couldn't crawl his way out. Nothing he did would ever matter, because this darkness now followed him relentlessly.

No amount of light or support from others could change that. Roy had lost his sight, and his eyes had become utterly useless.

But somehow, by some struck of dumb, cruel irony, he had gained something as well. The knowledge that resided behind the gate of Truth was opened to him. He imagined he saw the very same thing that Edward had when he first attempted human transmutation, since he too no longer needed the assistance of a circle to perform alchemy.

But what did that matter, when so much was taken? In comparison, the ability to perform alchemy without a circle meant nothing to him.

He fell to his knees, strongly sensing that something of importance was happening- something about Edward, but he felt the world spin before he could find out what.

Roy had no recollection of when he had fallen unconscious when he eventually woke to the sound of carts squeaking across hallways followed by the sharp clicking of distant footfalls and nearby beeps of complicated machines. He sluggishly pulled a hand up to rub at his tired eyes and was confused when he felt the soft material of bandages. He opened his eyes on impulse. A violent chill immediately surged through his body as he only saw darkness, and suddenly his mind fell back to an abysmal place that should have remained in the past.

A sharp jolt of adrenaline smothered the weariness of having just woken up for a brief moment, and he was suddenly back underground with cruel laughter echoing across the concrete walls. Every nerve was set alight as he was struck with the powerful sensation that he was about to be struck by an unseen enemy. He curled in on himself defensively and held that tense position for a moment until he could will some consciousness into his suddenly scrambled brain.

Having such abrupt flashbacks were not uncommon. Roy held his breath, barely holding up the thin pillar that kept him together as he clumsily tried to check if there was anything covering his face. But with an overwhelming sense of horror, he discovered that not to be the case.

A powerful wave of sheer terror and fear washed over him, nearly choking him under the overpowering weight. He gasped harshly for air and clung to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric as if to somehow alleviate the pressure.

But no- no, it could still be okay. The lights were off. It was just the light.

Roy had lost track of how many times he had woken up in the middle of his night in the safety of his own home, breathless and frightened like a child simply because a draft had shut his door, trapping the faint hallway light out, which was eventually what convinced him to buy a nightlight, despite the embarrassment that came along with it.

As it was so many times before, it was just the lights.

Just the lights. Just the lights, Just the lights.

Breathing heavy and limbs shaking from fear, Roy fought to extract himself from the sheets that had covered him, eventually untangling his legs and tossing the fabric to the side, doing his best to not be paralyzed by the realization that he had no idea where he was or what time of day it was. The colonel nervously felt for the side of the bed and shifted to stand. Roy slowly and hesitantly pushed himself up, straining his eyes to see a hint of value or depth, but every thought froze for a fraction of a second as his feet made contact with the cold ground, shooting icicles through his nerves. A sharp gasp ripped through his throat as his body chilled, reminding him far too much of the old, dirty cell he had been trapped him.

The light.

Roy shook his head and let out a quaking exhale as he cautiously extended his arms and took a step forward, pausing briefly as he felt a weight pull at his arm. He studied it for a moment before thoughtlessly pulling the IV line out to continue on the matter of much greater importance.

He somehow made his way to the opposing wall and found the door frame first. But with every foot forward, he stared deeper and deeper into the space before him, mutely begging to see something within the limitless darkness. Horror rising by the second, he was able to guide his restrained, muted hands to find what he could only assume to be the light switch after that, but...

He had eagerly flipped the switch once, then twice, then back and forth again before any point in doing so was stripped away. Because there was still only darkness around him.

It wasn't the lights this time.

The pillar crumbled and vivid images rushed through his brain too quickly to make much sense of. He recognized bursts of fire and pain, damning medication and betrayed golden eyes turning away, dogs baring their daunting teeth and blood rushing out from open wounds.

It had all been pushed down. He had healed! That's what he had been telling himself up until then, but any words of comfort or reassurance were silenced when a guttural, wild scream rung in his ears, which he only vaguely recognized to be coming from his own dry throat. He felt his bandaged hands curl around his mess of black bangs as his body shook violently. Whatever strength he still had in his legs was sucked dry and he felt himself fall to the ground. Forgotten demons returned at full force, dragging him deeper and deeper into the abyss- the ocean- where he couldn't see, couldn't breathe-

A loud static buzzed in his head, blocking out all thought or reason besides the haunting memories of the past. He clawed at the bandages around his hands, ripping the soft fabric so he could at least feel around his surroundings, suddenly overwhelmed by a deep sense of helplessness. He couldn't protect himself like this! Hell, he couldn't even inhale. He needed to get the bandages off before they choked him, he thought as his quaking hands went up to his neck, feeling the scarred skin burn like the old wound had been sliced open. Though there was not one, he couldn't shake the feeling that the same binds wrapped around his neck too tightly for air to pass through. They would kill him at this rate!

Roy didn't want to die. God, not again. He had already felt death too many times to count, some meetings far more intimate than others.

He mindlessly shuffled to the side as a small voice somehow knew where to go, allowing himself to sit up against the cold wall despite the awakened aches and pains that coursed through his body. The joints in his fingers and the gashes in his palms cried out in pain, but he ignored them as he so often did. It mildly dulled the pain he felt on his neck as his re-grown nails scratched red, angry lines across his skin in a blind effort to breathe.

The dark shadowy arms that reached out and attacked him- they flashed into his mind, constricting him again and pulling him further into the darkness. He had to get away. He had to escape. Fight back, scream for help, do whatever he had to!

Two stern hands fell on his shoulders and he heard a frantic voice behind the chaos that hummed relentlessly in his ears. He fought back harder, feeling his chest heave as his lungs grasped greedily for air, on the verge of hyperventilating as he gaspishly demanded to be left alone. The hands moved him slightly closer to their source- away from the wall- and suddenly he felt as though he was falling again. Plummeting to the depths with nothing to grasp onto for dear life, he flailed his arms out, desperate to grab onto something as a sharp gasp was caught in his throat. He was going to die, he was sure of it.

And then those two hands shifted around him and pulled him into a source of warmth. It held on tightly to him despite his attempts to get away, but giving Roy something to focus on. The world around him stopped spinning as he was held still, forcing him to pause for just long enough to hear the concerned and comfortably familiar murmuring that he could barely make out beyond the frantic static.

But even so, the darkness was suffocating. He choked through a sob as his shaking arms returned the tight embrace without thought, handicapped by the absolute dread that smothered him and whispered in his ear, saying that he would not make it out of the void this time.

Maes gently brushed his thumb across Roy's cheek, wiping off some of the wetness from his earlier breakdown. His friend had woken up in absolute hysteria, unaware of the tears that fell from his now useless eyes as he wildly kicked out and pulled at his bandages like the first day after being rescued from the crypt so many months ago. Maes had no idea what to do besides hold him down until he relaxed. He wasn't even sure if he could tell him that everything would turn out alright this time without lying. He too was overtaken by fear, but he had to swallow it for Roy's sake.

The colonel eventually fell asleep, clinging onto him as if doing so would somehow restore what had been lost. Maes cynically wondered if the man's mind could take no more of the abysmal reality, and shut down simply to escape it. He couldn't blame him. In fact, if that were the case, he was glad. He wanted Roy to avoid the truth for as long as he could. Let him enjoy a few blissful hours in the colors and light of his dreams.

But unfortunately, even that seemed beyond possible, given how much he writhed and tensed in his sleep. Maes continued to hold him in some vain hope to cast the demons away. Just- god, let his friend rest. For only a moment, please.

Despite his fear of disturbing him, Maes eventually lifted his poor friend from the ground and carried him back to the hospital bed, idly deciding to leave the discarded IV alone until a nurse could stick it back in his arm later. Thankfully, he did not stir from the movement. It was only been bad timing that Roy woke when he did- when Maes was taking a phone call in the lobby.

But since returning and calming him down, his friend had been asleep for hours, and Maes spent every possible moment by his side. He was apparently conscious when he was pulled into an ambulance after the fighting settled down, but was quickly put under due to his struggling. Something told him that the doctor who reported this to him was giving him the sugarcoated version, seeing how badly just a second of consciousness had affected him.

The doctor was concerned for Roy's mental state, to say the least. The older man had suggestions; said they should observe for now, and consider medication if the situation called for it. Maes somehow managed to avoid giving the doctor a very pointed and rather furious explanation as to why that was a god awful idea. To be fair, he just lacked the energy to do so. Instead, the lieutenant colonel settled for ensuring him that it wouldn't be necessary.

But at least the staff was quick to move onto what the physical problem was. They said his optic nerves were severed, though did not understand how. Maes didn't bother to fill them in, and frankly, didn't need to be told in the first place. Edward said that he had been forced to perform human transmutation and was blind when the gate spit him back out. He knew there was no hope, but he couldn't help but ask if there was anything they could do for him. The doctor then went on about methods to cope, killing the little hope he had left of restoring his friend's eyesight.

It wasn't until he first came to Roy's room and sat down in the corner as his friend slept did he realize just how huge of a blow that was to hear. It was as if all of the fighting and struggling they did to help Roy heal was for nothing. They had gotten so far. He was doing so well, all for naught.

He was foolish to think that they could have seen the end of this war without any more negative consequences. Anyone would know to expect some losses once they learned the nature of their enemy: the homunculi. And Maes was sure the others did, but he had somehow unknowingly convinced himself that they have already gotten through the worst of it. Who could have thought that anything worse than Roy being trapped underground for weeks straight after being thought to be dead could happen?

But alas, there was always something worse. He should have known that by now.

However, the true question remained: was it worth it? How much better would everything be if only they didn't get involved? If everything could have just stayed the same…

Maes pinched the bridge of his nose, casting such pointless thoughts away. With the world on the brink of destruction, they didn't really have a choice. But his mind kept wanting to wonder if there was any alternative.

And with Roy the way he was now, in so much anguish, he had to wonder if the man would agree that there was no other choice. Ordinarily, he was certain that Roy Mustang would sacrifice almost anything and declare it was worth it when so much was at risk. But now, as his horrified screams rung in Maes' ears, he shuddered with the cold realization that he couldn't say for sure.

Was it worth it…?

There was a light, hesitant tap at the door, presumably causing Roy to stir in his sleep and detached his grip from Maes' sleeve in favor for rolling onto his side and loosely hugging himself. His heart ached at the pitiable sight, but he turned towards the door, making a weak attempt to not look as miserable as he felt as it slowly opened.

Edward poked his head it with a hand still on the door frame, careful not to be disruptive, which was an odd sight to see after so long. At some point, he had acted very careful around the colonel after discovering he was actually alive. Their relationship mended into something entirely different, but now that uncertain caution was back, and Maes hated everything it stood for.

"Hey," Maes greeted with a thin smile, not bothering to stand from the side of the bed.

Edward pursed his lip and fully entered the room, slowly closing the door behind him to muffle the sound of people passing by. Though he visited the kid earlier, Maes was almost shocked to see that the automail arm was missing from his body, and replaced by a frail flesh arm that hung limb by his side, too weak to be held up for very long. He was covered in various bandages from his many cuts and bruises, but seemed relatively unaffected by them, besides an overarching weariness. The kid shared a room with his brother for the time being, but still devoted small portions of time to visiting the colonel.

"How's he doing?"

Maes just barely fought back the desire to expel an elongated sigh. "Well, he woke up just a little bit ago." Edward straightened up, his golden eyes dashing to Roy's tense form for a moment with something almost hopeful flashing behind the worried shadows. Maes hated to get his hopes up. "He... didn't take it well, to say the least."

And immediately, whatever optimistic emotion he saw in Edward's eyes disappeared and he frowned, sadly unsurprised. The kid said nothing for a moment as he found the chair Maes had left in the corner and pulled it over. Very slowly and methodically, Maes noticed as he begun watching him more closely. Edward acted as if moving each limb in the wrong way was painful for him- and after what he had been through, that was to be expected.

He nearly collapsed into the chair, slowly breathing out as the strain of walking all the way over here simmered.

"How are you doing, Edward?" he asked, voice quiet and laced with concern- a tone that the blond never liked being targeted with.

"'m fine," he said simply, then sulked slightly when Maes shot him a dubious glance. "My body has been through a lot lately. It's just... catching up. But in comparison to others, I shouldn't be anyone's top concern," he added eyes falling carefully down onto Roy.

Maes thought Edward was saying quite the understatement, considering his state, but he followed his gaze and studied his best friend for a moment. Still tense, still in pain, and still asleep. He sighed and looked back over Ed. "Speaking of which, how is Alphonse doing?" Maes was in there only the other day, but he was fast asleep at the time.

Edward smiled sadly. "He has a long way to go until his body is healthy again. But he's an Elric- he'll be fine."

"That's good. I'm sure Roy will be happy to hear that when he wakes up," Maes replied, forcing a small smile. But at the mention of the sleeping colonel, the two looked down at him again, their weak smiles both falling as a chilling silence consumed the room.

"This is wrong," Edward breathed after several beats, eyes narrowed and shadowed. "This is all wrong. This shouldn't have happened to him." His mismatched fists curled by his sides.

"I know," Maes replied quietly, unsure what else to say.

"There's gotta be something we can do about it," he continued, voice hardened with a desperate determination. But even so, his eyes seemed hollow, as if he knew deep down that there was little hope.

Maes rested his forearms on his knees, dropping his gaze down to the whitewashed tile. "...the doctor was talking about coping mechanisms."

"To hell with that!" Edward spat with a burst of anger that pulled Maes' eyes up to him. "That sounds the same as giving up!"

"It's not like that, Ed," Maes sighed, feeling a heavy weight in his chest. "It's not that simple."

"It should be," the blond growled under his breath. "It can't end like this. After everything he's been through! It's not fair!"

And again, all Maes could bring himself to say was an empty and exhausted "I know."

Several more muted beats passed between the two. Then at last, Edward slumped his shoulders, forced his fists to uncurl, and released a defeated sort of sigh. "Sorry," he said quietly, and again Maes found himself raising his head to look at him, barely noticing that it had fallen. "I'm just... mad. Al and I finally got all that we ever wanted. But meanwhile, Mustang got something so important taken away."

"This has been hard on everyone. But we'll figure it out somehow."

"Yeah," Edward breathed, but his words were strikingly unconvinced. The glimpse of sorrow that flashed across his face for a moment stopped Maes from adding anything else, stilling his tongue as his heart froze over. Noticing that the lieutenant colonel had no intention of responding, Ed straightened his back and feigned something that could almost resemble confidence. "I should get back to Al. He'll be worried if he wakes up without me there."

Unknowingly to Ed, those words hit Maes in the chest like he had been kicked by the memories of earlier that day. Roy curling up against the wall, pulling at his hair and bandages and screaming his throat ragged… He was certain his friend was not fully lucid at the time- just enough to understand that he was blind. And that, of course, was more than enough to set him off.

"Let me know when he wakes up, yeah?" Maes blinked out of his thoughts as Ed addressed him after having moved back to the door.

Maes nodded, then tried to moisten his terribly dry mouth. "I will."

Ed opened the door and paused as if he wanted to say more. But with his mouth held ajar as no words formed, he quickly clamped it shut again and turned out, closing the door behind him.