Okay, this is a parody of those real-life sitcoms that are so popular nowadays (I'm going to touch on several of them) …I've actually only watched a few of these shows, so bear w/ my distortion of their plot lines.
Eventually there will be 2+1!!!!
Life!
Ch. 1: How to Marry a Gundam Pilot
Lady Une walked down the corridor of Preventers headquarters, wondering why everyone was so distracted. It seemed as if everyone was off in little conversations, gathered around the water cooler and random desks. Finally she came to her destination, surprised when she looked in the room to find Wufei not working, but gossiping with Sally Po.
Lady Une raised an eyebrow. "Would you two care to tell me what's going on?"
Wufei looked up. "You mean you haven't heard? Duo's on tv tonight."
"And?" Duo on tv was nothing new. Ever since the war ended Duo had been very successful as a television personally, and one would be hard-pressed to turn on the tv and not see something on the boy…not a bad thing, mind you, especially not for all his fans (a.k.a. obsessed, drooling teenage girls and boys).
"Well," said Sally, "he's hosting a special game show tonight."
"And?"
"And the main contestant…"
"More like the prize," Wufei interjected.
"Ahem," Sally cleared her throat, "well, any way, Heero's getting married."
Lady Une blinked. Well, that was a complete non sequitor…"To whom?"
Wufei scoffed a little, pronouncing his next words slowly and with no small amount of disdain. "To the winner of the game show."
* * *
Heero sat in his chair, obviously annoyed as the make-up girl applied powder to his face with an oversized pink puffy thing. He had tried glaring at her, but it didn't seem to work, since she just swooned every time he did it.
"When do I get to see Duo?" he asked curtly, trying to ignore the way she kept flinging her hair over her shoulder in a manner she no doubt found seductive…the problem was those auburn tresses kept hitting him in the face. He swatted a loose tendril away before it smacked him as she answered.
"Oh, you won't be seeing Mr. Maxwell until right before the show starts. He's a very busy man. Even I haven't met him yet."
Heero snorted as the girl drifted off somewhere, no doubt dreaming of one day meeting Mr. Maxwell. No doubt Duo was busy, too busy to return his e-mails, his phone calls, his letters…what the hell kind of friend doesn't talk to you for six months, then calls out of the blue to proposition some whack game show? Heero snorted again. Bastard. Just then Duo came bounding down the hallway, all smiles and chestnut braid.
"Heero!" he called out, glomping onto the boy. "I'm so glad you agreed to do this! It's going to be a huge ratings boost for the network."
"I'm sure any show you're on would give the network a ratings boost, Duo." Dammit, Heero thought, did I just say that? Damn civilian life…if we were still in the war I would never let something like that slip!
Duo just blinked at him. "Umm…thanks, Heero. Are you ready for the show?"
Heero nodded.
"Great! Well, Katy briefed you on the rules, so you know what's going on, right?"
Heero nodded.
"Yeah. Well, I'll see you once the show starts!"
Then Duo bounded away, Heero waving after him as he sat on his chair.
* * *
"I can't believe Heero's doing this." Quatre said, snuggling into Trowa's side. "Don't you think it's kind of…pathetic? I mean, I'm sure he could get a date by himself…and marrying some one you don't even know…"
Trowa shrugged. "I'm sure he has his reasons. Anyway, why are you complaining? Don't you own this network?"
Quatre blushed. "Oh yeah."
* * *
It was eight o'clock. Millions of people were tuned into their television sets, some to drool over the gorgeous chunk of hunk that would be hosting tonight, some to see grown men and women embarrass themselves, and some just out of morbid curiousity, despite the fact that they claimed the show was 'demeaning' and contributed to the dumbing down of society. Millions of pairs of eyes focused on their televisions, riveted as the last commercial aired, the screen blacking out and reappearing on a set of violet eyes on a heart-shaped face. And he spoke.
"Hello, my name his Duo Maxwell!" the boy exclaimed, flashing a disarming grin. "And I just wanted to thank you all for joining in with us today, for the first ever broadcast of…Who Wants to Marry a Gundam Pilot?!"
~tbc~