This story is dedicated to one of my most devoted followers: GM01.
GM, I know it's not the Skye and Jeffrey story that I had said I was probably going to do soon, but I hope you like it just the same.
Elizabeth regretted a lot of things about her life. She regretted that she had never been able to visit Rome. She regretted that she hadn't kicked back and appreciated all that she had. She regretted how long it had taken her to say her first 'I love you' to Martin. She regretted that she wouldn't get to see her four beautiful daughters grow up, or that she'd not get a chance to get fully acquainted with her newest child. She regretted that she'd miss every school play Jane was in, every new Latin phrase Rosalind would learn and remind her so much of Martin, or every injury that Skye would hobble through the door with, (Though, she had already gone through a lifetime of those).
Elizabeth had a lots of regrets, but even more, she had had a lot of blessings. She had a wonderful husband, who she loved so much it would hurt unbearably sometimes and who amazingly loved her back. She had four amazing daughters to carry out her legacy, and already the blessings outweighed the regrets so much so, that the regrets seemed to fade.
Every time Elizabeth saw her family, she'd drink in every last detail. Who knew if was the last chance she'd get to see them? And then, when they had gone-Rosalind holding Jane's hand, Martin carrying Batty, and Skye walking out backwards so as to make sure until the last second she was still there- Elizabeth would cry. She would love to believe she was brave, that she was strong and courageous until the very end, but Elizabeth didn't approve of lying, even to herself. Truth be told, she was terrified and torn, and so broken-hearted she'd choke.
So, true to Elizabeth's old habits, she started a project. Because if she wouldn't live long enough to see her family grow up, then she'd damn well make sure they knew how much they had meant to her. She'd make sure each of her daughters knew that. The old-fashioned way.
She'd write them a letter.
...
Dear Rosalind,
Happy Birthday my oldest daughter. I'm so sorry I've missed so many of your birthdays, so many of the highlights of your life.
If your Daddy has done as I told him to, (And I don't doubt for a second that he hasn't), then you're receiving this letter on your eighteenth birthday. Congratulations on reaching a pinnacle moment in your life.
However, as I write this letter, you're only eight years old and you have just left my hospital room. You're so little, but already you're: making sure Skye doesn't slouch, that your Daddy is holding Batty's head up, and that Jane doesn't wipe her nose on her sleeve, and I couldn't be more proud of you. I know without a doubt that I'm leaving Skye, Jane, and Batty in your capable hands, and that you'll support your Daddy without a second thought. I'm sorry to think that I'm leaving you with so much responsibility at such a young age, but I don't doubt your strength for one second.
My darling, beautiful, Rosie, I remember when you were born. Me and your Daddy were so scared that we were going to hurt you, but even as a baby you were beyond patient with us. You were calm and took our mistakes with the smiling grace of a martyr, forgiving us of our inexperience and teaching us every day. You grew up of course and yet I still see the kind-hearted and gentle girl every day, and I love you so much for it, my dear. I know you'll teach your younger sisters with the same perseverance and patience. Thank you for that. They're going to need you, and no matter how much you doubt it, even Skye looks up to you.
I know Skye and Jane will be a handful. Already, those two are bouncing off each other like an explosive chemical reaction. With your steady hand I know they'll grow out of it and grow up. I'm willing to bet that they'll progress more than you, or even your daddy and I, ever thought. I know Batty will adore you. You'll be her model, Rosalind, who she aspires to be in life. I know it.
As I sit here and try to compose my thoughts, I dream a little as to who you'll be when you read this letter. I envision you a tall, graceful young woman with the same brown eyes you'll always have. Maybe you're going to college and trying to scrape up enough money for your own car. Maybe you're becoming the botanist I once heard you tell Skye that you were determined to become. Maybe you found a different calling. Maybe none of those things. In the end it doesn't really matter, because whatever you have done, I know you've done me proud.
I wish I could write you an entire novel, but I have four more letters to write after this one. One's for Claire, I want to be sure I can count on her to push your father out more. The other three are four your sisters. So I'll leave you with this piece of advice: Learn to embrace the little things, the little moments. I know the world can push and push, and that time moves all too quickly and that you're looking so much forward to all the big events. But as I lie here in bed and look back on my own life, it's the littlest details that are running through my head and making me smile.
The way the sun makes you feel, when you soak in it's warm rays and you feel like you're glowing on the inside. The way certain smells take me back to old places. The sound of your laughter. The way Daddy makes faces at us girls when we fuss over him. The way Skye wrinkles her forehead that's just like your Daddy. Or even the way Jane spins her self so much, she crashes to the ground from dizziness. Sit back once in awhile Rosalind, and think about how blessed you are. I ask you to close your eyes, let your mind drift, and just...feel. Life is so precious, and I'm glad for every second of it that I've had. I hope you are too.
I love you, Rosalind.
Love and kisses,
Mommy.
...
oh boy.
Here we go again, another story that I'm going to have to work on updating, but I really couldn't resist. Something has popped up in the past few days for me, ( Nothing bad, everything's perfectly fine.), and well, I've been slowing down a little more and thinking a lot. I let my mind wander yesterday, and for some reason this story popped into my head. I just got this sad ache, because I don't often really take into account Elizabeth's part in the books. To be fair we don't get to see a lot of her, but that just makes it worse. What we do read of her is so beautiful, and she is just such a strong presence in her daughters' lives, but to go what she went through physically and mentally is just a massive trial. Really, I think I've kind of fallen in love with this woman who inspite of her suffering, still managed to keep a smile on her face and assure her family it was alright. I'm going to try to put out another letter by next week.
Until next week, just remember to soak in the little moments guys. If you've been feeling harried lately, just stop for a moment and take some time to appreciate something little in your life.