Disclaimer: High School Musical does not belong to me.
Notes: Gift for my friend Bag3l. Love you~
Troy had first noticed how close they were in elementary. How they would swing together, talking about things he and nobody else understood. Talking about 'musical numbers' in movies and Troy wondered if they meant some show. He asked one day and Sharpay had laughed and Ryan smiled like he had heard some funny joke. And Troy could remember his feelings being hurt as he watched them walk away, hand in hand. Wishing to be included in their little club that he was sure nobody would ever be apart of.
The next day had been show and tell. While everybody brought some little trinket, deeming it special, Sharpay and Ryan brought nothing. Instead showing the class a dance they had been practicing for some local talent show. Troy had watched with his eyes wide in amazement. They were so good and they got a round of applause from the classroom. Sharpay basked in the attention while Ryan just looked extremely grateful for the praise.
Troy found he was jealous.
They had secrets between themselves and they could dance so well. People liked it. Right now, their teacher was talking about how talented they were and Troy wished he was talented at something.
The next week, he finally told his dad he wanted to get into basketball. He never told him the only reason he wanted to was because of Sharpay and Ryan.
And nobody ever knew, especially Sharpay and Ryan.
----
Every time Sharpay walked in, Ryan right in tow, she demanded attention silently. Just by the way she walked, just by the way she held herself. She got the attention so effortlessly. And although Ryan was often ignored, right in her shadow, he still held himself well. Still proud and yet, somehow humble.
Troy wondered how they did it. Yes, he got attention. Attention he had worked hard for. He had plenty of friends and so he was never in need of attention. But even people who didn't like Sharpay would still constantly watch her and Ryan. It was amazing, for lack of a better word, and Troy wondered how she pulled it off. Even he would have to watch her arrival to school, have to see how people would make way for her and her twin.
And every time she'd give him a flirty greeting and Ryan smiling at him politely, Troy found he just didn't know how to react. How to say the right words. Just the way she acted made him feel so unsure. She acted like she deserved the best words possible. The greatest reply.
"I know, man, Sharpay looking at me like that would scare me, too."
Nobody else understood, but that was fine. Troy was sure he was alone in the way he thought of Sharpay and Ryan anyway.
All Troy knew was that he found himself amazingly envious of the way Sharpay got attention, just by walking down the hall. Without even trying. She did it so effortlessly.
"Hey, Troy." She gave him a coy wave and charming smile. Troy found all he could do was smile back.
"Hi," greeted Ryan, simply and friendly. Just a polite smile on his lips.
It was all they said to him and soon after, they walked off. Troy watched as Sharpay motioned Ryan to bend down so she could whisper something in his ear. Ryan laughed at whatever she said and that was all Troy saw after they turned a corner.
"Ugh, those two," Chad muttered, rolling his eyes. Troy gave some affirmative noise and wondered how they could possibly make him feel so jealous. He didn't understand how or why they did. It wasn't as if they had things he didn't. They were rich, but Troy was sure that wasn't what made him so envious of the Evans twins. What made him long to be with them, talking to them, being their friend.
He wasn't sure he'd ever know and so he sighed and went back to talking about his latest game.
----
It had been completely by accident. He had just been walking by and saw it.
The summer before senior year was hectic. Worrying about college and his future. About scholarships and true friendship. Sharpay had been tugging him everywhere, getting him connected to the best people. She came on strong and it had made Troy feel completely out of his league. She made it obvious what she wanted and Troy was used to the shy politeness that came from Gabriella. But, in an odd way, the way Sharpay acted was kind of exuberating and yet something was missing.
Ryan.
Sharpay had completely left him behind and Troy wondered if maybe, he had been wrong. Maybe they hadn't had that secret little club he had always imagined them having. Maybe it was just a brother and a sister who just didn't fight constantly. Maybe his envy had been silly.
But for some reason, when Ryan would send Troy little glares he thought went unnoticed, Troy had a feeling it was more than just that.
"Ryan, stop acting so pissed. I said I'm sorry! I gave you the star dazzle award, didn't I?"
He really hadn't meant to see it.
"Giving me one award isn't going to make everything better. You acted like a bitch."
He shouldn't have even been looking. He really should have walked away. This was none of his business.
"But I'm sorry! I said I was, wasn't I? So just accept it!"
"Do you seriously think sorry makes everything better? Come on, Shar. You know better that. I'm your twin. I'm Ryan. You…you really shouldn't have left me out like that…"
Ryan sounded hurt and Troy felt guilty.
Sharpay was looking desperately at her brother and Ryan looking away, a small frown marring his features. Troy could remember seeing them as kids, laughing together and holding hands. And this just didn't fit in. They should have been back to that. And had he been the reason they were doing this now? Had he somehow broken them apart?
"I know! I know, okay?! I was a bitch! I was being selfish and I'm sorry! I didn't think about you! But Ry, you know I love you! You know I wouldn't have given you the star dazzle award if I didn't! So please, just forgive me. I'm sorry. I really am. Really, really am!" She started crying then and suddenly, Ryan was hugging her to him.
"Shar, I…don't cry."
"But…but…Ryan. It really hurt when we had that fight. Like you were choosing everybody else over me."
"How do you think I felt?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
The picture itself was sweet. Ryan pressing kisses to the top of her head, whispering things to her. Sharpay clinging to him as she cried. It was the kind of moment people wished they could catch on film and freeze in time. Who had ever seen Sharpay Evans, cold and ruthless Ice Queen, feeling actual remorse?
Probably only Ryan. Probably only Ryan ever got his sister's apologies. Only he deserved them in Sharpay's world. And Sharpay would always be forgiven, no matter what, in Ryan's world. It would always be that way for them. No matter what. Nobody could change that.
Troy found himself still jealous of Ryan and Sharpay. He walked away, not being able to see them any longer. Envy was rearing its ugly head and he didn't want to let them know he had just seen them. Nobody was supposed to.
As he walked away and made his way back to his friends, he noticed his jealousy hadn't faded away. Even after he was with his friends and Gabriella had given him a kiss that had gotten cheers from all their friends.
And he still didn't know why.