My version of Blood Promise, first fanfiction, read and review

disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns everything to do with Vampire Academy series.

1

I was finally on the side of the road that connected to the long winding road that led from the St. Vladimir's Academy which was my home for the better part of 18 years. It held so many memories, where I met Lissa in kindergarten, laughing with Mason and Eddie and a few other people. Flirting with and insulting anyone who got in my way. I had a bad reputation that was well earned. But it was only recently that I was truly thankful to the academy. They had sent a badass guardian to come and drag Lissa's and my ass back to the academy. The memory of the shoulder length hair and dreamy eyes, bought me back to reality of the situation, with a painful slashing to the heart. I need to stay focused or I would die, which really didn't matter till after I killed my soul mate. I had made the promise to him, to destroy what he had become. And I knew that if I stopped for one minute to think about what I was about to do or whether I could really do the impossible, I would break down and every inch of me that yearned to just sit and cry to death would win. The only thing that kept me going was the disappointment that his face would hold, if I failed to succeed.

A car was coming around the bend, and I put on the most innocent expression I could manage onto my strained face. My training enabled me to deal with a creepy human, so hitch-hiking wasn't exactly dangerous. The sky blue Toyota slowed to a stop, and an old man winded down the window.

'Are you alright, darl?' The old man asked, with a concerned look on his face clearly worried about a girl who was standing alone on the side of the road.

'No actually' I didn't want to explain the many ways that I was completely lost in the whirl wind of my destroyed life and I'm sure the basics would creep him out so I came up with a convincing story. 'Can I get a lift to Missoula? My ex-boyfriend just left me out here' Which technically, Dimitri did leave me here. No Rose, don't think like that. I scolded myself. The driver settled on a look of pity and said that he would. The ride was quiet as, the old man, who introduced himself as Trevor, knew I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to talk to anyone about how terrible my life has ended up, how much pain I have been through, how much I'm still going through. How I have left my best friend feeling abandoned, and I wish more than anything that this played out to a happy ending. But my fairytale faded into what seems like Halloween.

I arrived at Missoula, and thanked Trevor, and went to the bank. I needed to get the money that Adrian had lent me. Thinking about what he had done for me, made intense guilt overwhelm me. I knew I couldn't keep the promise of giving him a chance, and I still wasn't convinced on the whole coming back idea either. I walked through the doors, and immediately felt out of place, as I was in durable clothes that could last for fighting, and this bank actually looked like it was upper class decent. But none the less I walked through and up to the desk.

'Hi, what can I do for you today?' the lady asked in a bored voice. You could tell she wanted to be anywhere but here, doing this job. She had no idea how similar we were in that respect.

'Adrian Ivashkov has set up an account for me, my name is Rose Hathaway.' I said in an unsure voice. She scanned the computer looking for my name, and when it did her eyes lit up with what seemed like surprise. What was she surprised about? she peered at me over the computer screen, before looking back. My nervousness became paranoia, so I practically grunted a 'What??'

The lady peered over it and said something that made me completely shocked on the inside, but I didn't let it show.

'The balance on this account is $500,000' she said enviously.

Inside my head I was practically yelling, what the hell??? Half a million dollars. But I wouldn't let this show my perfect façade. So I agreed, and got the details, hoping that this would be over soon. But when it got to the credit card that stopped me, obviously I would need it but when I used it, it would give away my location. The people back at the academy, like Adrian, Lissa and Kirova would all liked to know where I am. My mother would probably keep tabs on me if there was any way she could. So I made it that I would draw out $100,000 now and keep it in a bag. I couldn't use all this money, with the guilt that came attached and I don't think I will live to go shopping in the major fashion cities. If I needed money I would use the credit card only in emergencies, and only in places that I'm not in.

I walked to a cheap and seedy hotel that was 4 blocks from the centre of town. The light was beginning to shine through the clouds, of a rising sun. Once inside my rent-a- room, exhaustion pulled me under in what felt like cooling waters, and I was in a lovely garden that was full of sunlight which meant that Adrian was somewhere here. This made my anger spike. I was so tired, and how could I talk to him, with the guilt of pettiness to get what I want flowed through my veins. He was lying beside of an old oak tree. He looked terrible, even when he slept, though I couldn't say anything, because I'm sure I looked like shit.

'Rose, you have no idea how happy to see you I am' his voiced slightly dazed. Maybe he could get high in his dreams too.

'Hi Adrian' was all I could manage.

'So how was your day?' he said trying to make it sound offhand. He couldn't fool me though.

'My day was…' many words ran through my head like crap, pathetic, horrible, but I settled on fine, I mean I'm still alive. That has to be something, doesn't it? '…fine. What about yours?'

'Fine' he said mimicking my tone perfectly. 'What are you really doing Rose? Lissa knows but she won't tell anyone. Not Christian, not Kirova, not your Mother, and not me. 'His voice was pleading.

I avoided the question, by asking another question 'My mother? What do you mean about my Mother?'

'Do you honestly believe, that she wouldn't care that you left. Everyone is panicking. You left last time because there was an unseen threat, to protect your best friend, but yet you left her here at the Academy, and walked out. They want to understand what made the best novice and a possible the best guardian, drop out.'

'Oh...' was all I could state. This was too much information to give someone when they are both physically and emotionally drained.

'Rose you have to come back. I know this is over Dimitri, but we can help you through it! I promise just come home. We need you Rose. Don't you remember they come first? Lissa needs you, you can't abandon her, which makes Christian furious that you could do this to her and I need you. You will get over him.' A small tear ran down his flushed cheek. His speech made me want to cry, and only added to the feelings that had filled me. I needed to leave before I couldn't handle it anymore. They didn't understand that this was killing me to do, that I was torn between what seems like 2 worlds and that I would ultimately end up alone in the land of the dead. That moroi came first all my life, but now Dimitri took that place. He was my number one priority; he held my heart and my soul.

'Do you love me, Adrian?' I asked truthfully. He needed to see my point of view, but he never would, none of them would.

'Yes, that's why I'm so worried about you.' He looked as if he thought he was winning some game, where I saw his point. Boy was he wrong.

I said these next words so peacefully, that it even amazed me.

'Then let me go.' He looked astonished that I had said this to him and like someone had physically wounded him. I had to leave this dream, I said what needed to be said, and I could feel the depressed feelings taking over my body.

'I'm truly sorry, but I will be ok. Take care.' And the dream faded out.

I woke with tears running down my face and suddenly I couldn't stop them. Huge sobs escaped from deep down in my chest. I was crying, because I had left behind friends, I was crying because I abandoned the people who mattered most to me, I was crying because I was mourning what had happened to the love of my life, I was crying about what was ahead of me, but I was mostly crying because for the first time in my life, I felt completely alone and helpless.

When all the tears my body could produce had rain down my cheeks, I fell into a dreamless sleep, where all I could see was black.

And I couldn't help but relate this back to myself.

My life was just this great black nightmare.