It was what I had always dreaded…the day my secret would be discovered. I had no idea why I said that but it just slipped out… I couldn't help it.
Why had been so reckless???? Blurting out the one thing I kept securely concealed this entire time. This is all Zuko's fault….he just had to hit the right point!!!! Urgh!!!!
We were all having a perfectly good time at the party….or atleast tried to!!!! But even if it did fail that doesn't mean we have to share our thoughts and regrets with each other. I never even admitted this to myself….so why do I feel this why???
What is this feeling????....hurt??? No. I am not going to allow myself to feel this way….
No Azula get a grip on yourself…you are strong, powerful…..a born prodigy!!!! You are not going to be easily broken down by these sappy stories!!!! (Scoffs).
But as I look around… all eyes are on me…surprised-maybe even shocked-by this new discovery….yes I Azula- princess of the fire nation and soon to be fire-lord- feels something!!!
Yes my mother did think of me as a monster….a threat that must be casted away!!!! Well I'll show them all…Im capable of easily surpassing her precious Zuko… (Scoffs) its not like father believed him in the first place…we all know im still his favorite!!!! The one who truly deserves his love…not Zuzu, Me!!!!!!
I couldn't take it anymore….stop staring at me…have I said something wrong????/
Am I not capable of being loved???? Or loving someone???
Not wanting my friends-especially Zuko- to see my tears…the ultimate sign of weakness!!!! I ran away almost instantly.
As I sat near the front steps of our old beach house I heard someone approach.
It was the one person I had no intension of seeing…Zuko.
"What do you want???" I demanded turning my face in the other direction.
"Nothing...it…I just want you to know that mom never thought of you that way" he said plainly looking over to the crashing waves of the sea!!!!
Though my natural element is fire I found something very soothing about them at the moment!!!!
"Well you're wrong…I know she hated me. It was clear that you were her favorite!!!" I screeched. Before I could stop myself tears automatically started to flow down my cheeks. I couldn't believe this and apparently neither could my brother as he simply stood there- half confused-half shocked at what he saw.
I desperately tried to gain composure…but it is so hard!!!!
"Azula..." Zuko began, this time more clearly and firmly than before….I suppose he's trying to take advantage of my very rare pathetic state. Well I won't let him!!!!
"You don't know me Zuko…I suggest u go away before I zap you with lightening" I said suddenly regaining my equanimity.
"Azula listen to me…you've got it all wrong!!! Mom never hated you she loved us both equally…you just failed to acknowledge that…please forget these hard feelings and start afresh…before it's too late!!!!
"Shut up!!!! Don't pretend like you care…because I know you don't… so just leave me alone!!!!" and with that I just couldn't take it anymore. So I left for Lo and Li's house….i terribly needed some sleep and forget this ever happened. However as I was leaving I did hear Zuko whisper something that strangely sounded like he was saying:
"Azula, please….remove these hateful feelings from your heart….before its too late for you to turn back!!!!!"