Jo stared blankly at the pink plastic stick in her hand. Shut away behind a narrow bathroom stall, a test that Jo stole from the second floor supply closet, turned her entire world upside down.
Frozen, she stared at the pregnancy test that she held between both of her hands. Slowly she watched as the two little straight lines developed. Suddenly her breath caught in her throat and her body went completely numb. Tears welled in her eyes, although she wasn't exactly sure why. Were they happy tears? Was her life crumbling apart right in front of her eyes? Honestly, she didn't know.
With shaking hands, she placed the test in her lab coat pocket ignoring how unsanitary it may be. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and attempted to steady her breathing. 'You're Jo Karev, you don't cry over shit like this'. She told herself.
The empty bathroom echoed as she unlocked the stall door as it swung open Jo was met with her own reflection in the mirror. She was a mess. Her hair was pulled back into a sloppy bun on the back of her head. She looked pale and sick which wasn't shocking considering just a few minutes ago she was hunched over the toilet. Mascara smudged under her eyes.
As she rubbed at the mascara under her eyes one name popped into her head, Meredith. Meredith always knew what to do or at least pretended like she did. She debated paging her but that seemed far too formal. What would Meredith think when she got paged to a bathroom and she doubted that Grey would respond to a text while she was with patients. So, as if she was on auto-pilot, Jo scrolled through her contacts and found Meredith Grey.
The phone rang about three times and Jo was met with her friend's slightly concerned voice. "Are you okay?" Was the first thing out of her mouth.
Jo was taken aback by her immediate concern. "Huh… er, yeah I'm fine. I…" Her voice wavered for a moment. "Do you have a minute to talk?" She asked her friend when she regained her composure.
"Yeah, where are you?" Grey asked her. She could hear the shuffling of papers over the phone, probably from Meredith handing over charts to an intern or two by her side.
"Third-floor bathroom," Karev said. "Look if you're busy-"
"Hang on, I'm on my way." She said cutting her off. "Stay there." The phone went silent and Jo was faced with her reflection again. Guilt nagged at her stomach, why did Meredith's name come to her mind before her own husband? What would Alex think if he found her sobbing over her likely pregnancy?
After a few minutes of near silence, Meredith cautiously pushed open the bathroom door. "What's wrong? Is someone dead? Do we need to kill someone?" She asked.
How was the Meredith Grey standing in front of her the same person that drove Jo to tears intern year? Four years ago Meredith wouldn't give her the time of day if Jo had begged her but now she was dropping everything because of one slightly worried phone call.
"Jo, what's wrong?" She said grabbing Jo's attention again.
Jo closed her eyes and fished into her pocket producing a positive pregnancy test.
Grey nodded in realization, "Okay, I see." She said. "And how do we feel about this?" She asked.
"I don't know," She admitted. "I don't know." She mumbled again.
"Look, if you're elated, or unhappy, or pissed, or anything else, I am going to back you up." She promised. "I'll make you an appointment at OB, or Planned Parenthood, or even your therapist."
Jo leaned against the sink's counter, "I seriously don't know."
Meredith moved beside her, "You don't have to know. Not yet anyway." The silence settled back in but with someone else there the emptiness didn't feel so vast and heavy. She didn't push for Jo to talk about her feelings she just stood there beside her in the cold, empty bathroom.
"I want kids. I really want kids. And you've seen Alex with your kids, he's amazing with them, he's going to be an amazing dad. When Zola came over to the loft the other day she had him help with her homework. I watched him explain how to do her entire math worksheet and he was so sweet and patient." Jo smiled. She sighed, "I thought that I'd be excited when I found out I was pregnant but I just feel…" She racked her brain but couldn't come up with anything.
"Terrified?"
"Yes," She said with realization, "Terrified."
Meredith nodded, "Motherhood is pretty terrifying. I didn't stop worrying about Bailey until he was born and then I started worrying all over again." She took friends hand. "It's terrifying but it's amazing, and rewarding too."
She felt part of the tension she had been holding in her shoulders melt away and she could breathe just a little easier than before. "Thank you, Mer," Jo said. "Just, will you do me a favor?" She asked her.
"Did I not just pass my appendectomy off to a resident so I could come and comfort you in the bathroom?" She half asked half laughed.
"Don't tell Alex about it. Not yet."
"Of course not. I won't do anything until you're ready." She promised. Jo let her head rest on her friend's shoulder much more at ease than she was just 20 minutes ago.