This is a one shot based on Archie's funeral (the episode on 28/1/10), I hope you enjoy it and please review. Its from Ronnie's point of view. I was hoping to post it on Friday however the site was playing up and wouldn't allow it!
As I stared into the mirror, the pain etched across my face was becoming more and more evident everyday; it was obvious I wasn't coping without my babies but life had to try and go on, no matter how hard it was. The grief and pain I felt everyday still tore my heart into tiny pieces, broken beyond repair, but I had to try, try and pretend I was happy, that I was coping. The black clothes I wore were a symbolic reminder of ten months ago when I attended my daughter's funeral and saw her helpless coffin been lowered into the ground; my baby leaving this world for ever and destined to simply rot in the ground. My stomach churned at simply the thought of it, my helpless baby, alone, and try as I could, my mind couldn't help but stray to that situation, to think of my baby Amy, my baby Danielle. Brushing the brush through my freshly cleaned blonde hair, Roxy entered the room; the tear stained checks still there despite the numerous coverings of makeup. She didn't know; she couldn't even imagine the pain of losing someone as loved as my daughter, the pain and hurt at finding her alive and then having her so cruelly taken away.
"Ronnie, I've written a few words to say – please could you read through them?" Roxy spoke, her voice breaking as she did so,
I didn't want to – I didn't care about the fact my dad had died, had been murdered because he murdered my baby, both of them. He got what was coming to him; he deserved everything he got, and even his last words, his last sorry, it was nothing. It was just a word, a word that meant nothing to me from him, he could never be sorry; he had cursed my life, cursed Danielle's life; taken it away from her before I got the chance to be her mother, to become the mother I was always destined to be. I shook my head, my eyes not leaving my reflection in the mirror.
"I can't Rox," I admitted, seeing the pain flash across her hurt face as I spoke. How could I pretend everything was ok when it wasn't?
"Ron – he was our dad!" Roxy cried as she thrust the papers at me, "please, just read it," I took the papers out of her hands, and started skimming through it, the words stabbing at my heart at the thought of somebody saying such perfect words about such an evil man;
Archie Mitchell was the best dad you could have asked for, despite not been perfect, he always tried to do what was best for me and Ronnie. His was loved so much by his granddaughter Amy and loved her dearly, always spoiling her with presents. He didn't deserve to die in such a cruel way, to be taken so soon when he still had so much time to live. If you're listening dad, we love you.
I felt a lump form in my throat – how could that be said about my dad, about Archie after everything he had done, after the hurt he had caused my precious daughter. He was loved by his granddaughter Amy. I felt hurt – confused – that Danielle hadn't been mentioned, I didn't want her name associated with that evil man but still, her name been mentioned once or twice would bring me so much comfort; let me know that she hasn't been forgotten. Who could forget my darling little girl? Taken away so soon. How could Roxy have written that? He had lived a life, he had had children, had brought us up, taken my baby away, then told me she was dead. He had cursed my life, ruined it and everything in it, and yet he had been taken away too soon – not soon enough I thought. But my darling Danielle, she had been taken so soon, way too soon. She had barely had twenty years, her life had just started, and my life had just been fulfilled, filled by her love again. If anyone was suppose to die; then it wasn't my sweet baby.
It was soon time to stand outside and follow the hearse, the hatred I felt for my dad becoming all so clear as the two black horses drew up outside the Vic. Why did he seem to get so much more than Danielle?! However I secretly felt glad, guiltily happy that he had gone. I was safe, Danielle would be safe without him; her smiling face always a frozen image in my mind. Janine caused a scene outside the Vic, but I had to be strong for Roxy and for Danielle; who I was sure would be watching down on me. I wasn't going to cry a tear over my dad, over his evilness, I had no more tears to cry and if I did, they weren't going to be wasted on him. We clambered into the car, as I tried to comfort Roxy.
The journey passed quickly and before I knew it I was sat in the church listening to people speak about my dad. I couldn't help but remember the day of my daughter's funeral so vividly – I hadn't been allowed into the service but I sat outside and thought about her, every second – I still do. I had heard Andy speak such kind words about such a perfect caring girl, who belonged to me. I had felt my heart fill with pride as he spoke about her, as her friends spoke and as the Vicar had spoken. I was so proud, so proud of who she had become, of who she could have still been. I remembered watching her coffin been lowered, my heart turning in pain as I watched, the cries from her friends filling the air. But I couldn't cry – all my tears had been used had been long gone in the week since my baby's death. The tears coming every day, all day, making my eyes hurt. I felt as if I was been punished for been so cruel to my helpless daughter, for turning against her and so cruelly rejecting her. I had gone back to her house, the place where she had grown up and seen her childhood, how happy and successful she had been; the locket in every photo. I returned to the graveyard with her toy, Digby he was called. I still sleep with him every night and hold the lockets close to feel as if she is near me. I have the one photo of her and Amy put up around the flat, in my purse, under my pillow and in my heart forever and always. I cried at her grave, the tears flowing uncontrollable down my face as I sang to my baby. If I could turn back time. Oh, how it had hurt – the lyrics had been the final stab through my punctured heart.
"Ronnie, I don't think I can do it," Roxy whispered to me as she wafted the paper under my eyes. I stared at her for a while, my eyes narrowing at her face, her heartbroken face.
"The words will get stuck in my throat," I confessed, the attention been turned away from me as Aunty Peg said she would do it. The truth was, I couldn't do it, I couldn't say those words about Archie, about how perfect he was because he wasn't, he hadn't been perfect. All he had done in my life was ruin it, cause me pain and grief, and cause my children pain, my perfect daughter, and my second daughter whose life had barely begun.
I tuned out as Peggy spoke, not been able to bear the words leaving her mouth; each one stabbing through me, causing my blood to boil. I thought back to Danielle to calm me down and how caring, how beautiful she had been, how childlike and how she had called me 'mum'. Her last word. It had caused my whole body to tingle but I knew I was loosing her – her body was becoming cold and limp – and I had to tell her what she meant to me. I told her everything and more what she meant to me, how I had never wanted to give her up, and how we were going to be mother and daughter but I knew my chance had been snatched away as I lost her – my heart shattering again and again as I cried her name in desperate pleas to get her to come back.
We stood outside above the grave as I watched my dad been lowered into the ground – now he's dead and buried. I felt nothing but gladness as I watched Roxy through the soil onto the top of the coffin, the hard hitting sound filling the silence of the eerie graveyard. I was next. I threw it, whispering words of hate as I did, he was gone, gone forever and I was glad. He couldn't hurt me anymore. I was free to live my life, to remember my perfect little girl without him attempting to ruin my memories of her, and for once, I could try and move on. This was the last sweet goodbye.