Ok I just watched 'Samurai Tourist' and this sprung up. I was really focused on how easy Mike was able to see how much responsibility Leo held on his shoulders so Don, Raph and him could be free to goof off. I can't understand being the oldest or youngest considering I'm an only child but I can understand a bit of each one of the TMNT brothers.

Leo: Wants his little brothers and father to be safe and happy, even if that means giving up his life.

Don: Wants them all to be together forever and unharmed, even if that means patching them up after battles and fighting himself.

Raph: Wants to blow down anything threatening what he holds close, even if it means sometimes being the bad guy.

Mike: Wants to make sure everyone's happy, even if that means faking smiles and hiding feelings.

Sniff. HEROES FOREVER!!!

Either way, it's a game of sweetened sacrifices.

Understanding The Shield

When you're born, or in my case mutated, to understand emotions you form a bond with the first people you see. That's what happens when everyone's born, they form a bond with their parents, the first ones they see. That bond's unbreakable. Well, it's supposed to be unbreakable, but how can I ever be sure?

There he had been, my eldest brother training like some kind of huge monster was going to bust through the wall at any second and attack us all. Heh, classic horror story of the sewers!

Anyways, I'm burying my head in a comic book. The hero's just gotten blasted down but he's going to find the strength to get back up and save the day. Superheroes always do, they don't ever die. At least, they're not supposed to.

A frame of a broken window makes my mind fly backwards to that one moment when nothing made sense any longer, the time when a superhero was broken, because I had forgotten he was mortal like me. I still remember, the glass shattering, his scream as he was thrown into the window, the echo of his body hitting the floor and those wounds are still fresh in my mind.

I had looked over and saw him training, blindfolded, while putting out candles with his sword. Yeah, my big bro Leo is so amazing he can do that.

That's when I finally noticed though, how my other big brothers were talking.

"Ever since our final showdown with the Shredder, he just seems so…angry," Don said.

Raph suddenly spoke up, "I'm just saying someone's got to do something or I'm going to have to give Leo some therapy, but kicking therapy."

"Aw," Casey said in a teasing voice, "I think Raph's just jealous. Leo's stealing your thunder."

"Maybe you need your but kicked too bonehead!"

Well, why wouldn't he be angry? We were all angry and Leo just needed some time, maybe some time away. I mean, while we were relaxing he'd been training. Raph's always said it was just Leo showing off and sucking up to sensei, but I know.

So, I'm the youngest, but my life isn't easy either. It's hard, I'm not allowed to get angry like Raph, I don't get to even try to handle the responsibilities that Leo and Don have. Law 101, the baby brother has to be happy and naïve.

Yes, believe it or not, I know what naïve means. Don't judge me!

Point is, I know Leo's not showing off. There was a time I almost believed it though, I truly almost did think that Leo was trying to better us all.

Then, there was that day. It was one of the best turning points in my life because I could finally jump over this one drop zone in the sewer, I could launch out of one pipe, clear the 20 feet of the gap and land safely in the other pipe. I make sure to take my skateboard there everyday now.

Donny and Raph were below, Raph saying I had been bluffing and Donny was murmuring a bunch of numbers that I stopped listening to. Leo though, was off to the side, fishing some things out of the water with sensei. He wasn't watching and that made my energy deflate like a dead balloon.

All I wanted to do was show my big brother that I could do something. I wanted to say, "Look big brother, I'm faster and stronger now, you don't have to protect me as much and you can relax knowing I'm safe."

I had just realized how much responsibility he had taken on, even then when we were much younger.

I covered up the sadness with a fake smile though and went on with the trick. At the end of the first tunnel before I made the jump I looked towards my amazing oldest brother and he was watching and then I could really smile.

With my energy back, knowing my hero was watching, I made the jump with ease. In the middle of the jump though, our eyes met again and I saw a strange emotion pass through him. At first, I thought it was disappointment or anger that I was trying to better him. Raph often said that's what that look was, that Leo was angry when we tried to better him and show off.

I hadn't been showing off, I just wanted to impress my big brothers, show them that I could take of me by myself and that they didn't need to worry about me so they didn't have to deal with the burden.

I looked back when I reached the other tunnel and met Leo's eyes again. Then I realized that it wasn't disappointment, it was envy. He wasn't angry that we were showing off, even when we weren't, he was angry because he couldn't do what we did.

Raph, Don and I went out to movies while Leo had to stay home, sensei's orders. We left the dojo right after practice, Leo stayed extra hours, probably sensei's orders too. We played video games at three, Leo was forced to sit and learn to read and write. We ate pizza and Leo could only swallow a cup of green tea before having to go back to training. I skateboarded across that gap and Leo had to fish things out of the sewer water. He wasn't allowed, because he had been chosen as the leader.

So I don't try to put more burdens on him. It doesn't always work out though. That's a thing about being the youngest, we can see and understand more than you think.

I glance up from my comic, the lair is de- well very quiet. It's dark too? I've been reading in the dark this whole time? Oh well. I close the comic and lay it down on the table. Like an hour before, I force my tired body to get up and seek out the one light in our home.

I enter Donny's lab, but he's gone. Donny left about ten minutes ago to get some medicine at a pharmacy and I could hear in the background as Raph fought invisible demons in the dojo, all lights off of course. There's my eldest brother, wounds covering his body, well all the ones we didn't have enough bandages to cover up.

I sit in my normal seat, watching him. He's like stone, cold and unmoving. My big brother Leo had always been my shield, scaring nightmares away, fighting off enemies that wanted to hurt me, taking the hits meant for me. That's why he's here now, like this. He had said the simple battle with the foot had been too easy and that's when the hidden army attacked, going for me first. All those swords and chains were coming at me but Leo put himself between me and them. Every slice in his skin had me screaming, "STOP! STOP HURTING HIM!"

Yeah, classic kid thing to do, scream and cry. Make the adults fix everything. That's movies though and stories, that doesn't work in life. It didn't work then.

No one ever told me that sometimes you have to fix your shield. No one ever tells you when your shield's going to crack because it's just always supposed to protect you.

Then, now that I think about that. People in ancient wars used shields until they were so damaged they threw them away and found others. Few ever just reinforced their shield with more stronger metal. Was that how Leo saw himself? Oh, please no, not this hero, he can't.

No one told me I had to put up a shield to protect this shield. I wish someone would've told me because I would have done just that.

Now, he just lays there, not moving. It isn't right! Superheroes get back up and save the day. At least that's what they're supposed do. My big bro Leo is the bravest most enduring hero to ever walk the earth. At least that sounded good when I first thought it.

What I had forgotten though is that heroes are still mortal like me. Leo's just the same as us. Even big brothers can only endure so many hits before they break down or fall.

I know now, he's no superhero, but he's still a hero and I've just now figured it out.

He had saved all of us and we had saved him, we were all heroes.

Now, looking at what's happened to my hero, my invincible oldest brother, I'm hit with the ULTIMATE TRUTH.

Heroes are just victims, that learned to save themselves.

I myself just realized that the other day and thought that exact last sentence in my head. So, after watching TMNT for awhile I decided to type this up.

Anyways hope you enjoyed it.

~Moonsetta