A little background info on this fic…

Year -1999

Nicole - age 31 (Original Character)

John - age 45

Dean - age 20

Sam - age 16

John woke suddenly to darkness.

Where the hell am I?

He blinked a few times and his eyes adjusted to reveal he was on a hotel bed.

How did I get back to the room? Boys?!

He looked around the room as mild panic began to stir inside him, but it quickly subsided when he saw Sammy on the other bed and Dean on the pull out. Breathing out a short sigh of relief, John pushed himself up and dropped his legs over the side of the bed. His chest pulled tight at the movement causing fire to tear across his skin. He hissed and stiffened slightly. He knew that feeling all too well.

Stitches.

He ran his hand along his front feeling the neatly wrapped gauze encasing his torso.

What the hell happened?

He gathered himself, stretching gingerly as he moved off to the bathroom to take a leak.

It was slowly coming back to him now. The vampire nest at the barn just outside of town. He'd missed one of the bastards and it got a hold of him. Images of claws, blood and teeth flashed across his mind.

Dean and Sam must've done a hell of a job dragging my sorry ass outta there.

John leaned forward over the sink as he pulled the gauze back, inspecting the stitches in the mirror. His brow furrowed as he leaned in further, running his fingertips across the tight even threads.

Dean was good, but not this good. I haven't seen stitches like this since…

The world around John seemed to come to a screeching halt. He froze, staring at his reflection in the mirror as his pulse quickened.

No…

John tore his gaze away from the mirror and ripped the bathroom door open. He stormed back into the hotel room directly over to the pull out.

"Dean." John clenched his hands into fists in an attempt to stop them from shaking. He could feel his pulse throbbing in the stitches across his chest.

"Dean!" John echoed more forcefully, kicking his 20 year old son's leg off the couch.

"Huh, yeah!" Dean started and shot upright, blinking dazedly up at his father.

"Who was here last night?" John's breathing was heavy as the adrenaline coursed through his veins.

"Wha…oh." It took a second for Dean to register what his father was asking him. He scanned the hotel room before turning and peeking out the front window behind him. "Huh, guess she bailed." He turned back around to his father. "Can't remember her name but she had this sweet ass truck a-"

"Seventy-nine PowerWagon." John cut him off, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. She said she knew you from a few years back." Dean eyed his father. "Said you used to hunt together around here for a little while."

Shit.

John turned and grabbed a shirt, wincing as he pulled it over his head.

How the fuck did I forget that one of her cabins was out here?!

He yanked his jeans up and jammed his boots on before turning back to Dean. "I'll be back in a little while. I gotta go find her."

"Dad are you-"

"Just stay here with Sam, Dean. I'll explain later." John barked as he grabbed his truck keys and slammed the hotel door behind him.

Son of a bitch!

Once he turned off of the main county road it was like he went back in time. He navigated the old dirt road with ease, dodging the holes and ruts like he traveled it everyday for the past seven years.

Seven…had it really been that long?

He rounded the last bend between the trees into a small clearing, his headlights illuminating the two bedroom cabin. His heart jumped to his throat as his eyes caught on her truck in front of the porch. Everything seemed the same. He eased his truck up next to the steps and killed the ignition, plunging him into darkness once again. John sat there for a moment, debating with himself.

What are you doing here, John? It's been years and you didn't exactly leave on good terms…then again she did just stitch your sorry ass up so-

John's thoughts were cut off as a light flicked on inside the cabin. He drew a deep breath in and exited his truck. The gravel crunched beneath his boots as he made his way to the stairs, his eyes trained on the ground at his feet. As he reached the first step the front door squeaked open and the motion light on the porch turned on, showering him in a soft amber glow. He raised his gaze to the silhouette in the doorway as he slowly stepped up onto the porch.

"Been a long time since I heard that truck pull up my drive." Her soft voice sent a shockwave through him, straight into his bones. God, he'd missed that feeling.

"Too long." John said as he stopped in the middle of the porch. "Nicole."

"John." Her emerald eyes traced him up and down before she spoke again. "You bust through my stitches, Winchester?"

He chuckled, rubbing a hand on his chest. "Don't think so."

She sighed and opened the door fully, stepping to the side and smiling at him. "C'mon in. I need to check them and you look like you could use a drink."

John returned her smile and stepped past her into the cabin. She closed the door behind him and motioned towards the kitchen. "Take your shirt off and sit." Nicole moved to a cabinet and retrieved a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, placing them on the table between her and John. She poured the drinks as John carefully pulled his shirt off before easing onto one of the wooden chairs. She held out a glass to him as she stepped around the table, taking a sip of her own. John took it graciously, desperately trying to control the hammering of his heart as she stepped nearer to him. She was every bit as beautiful as he remembered. Her auburn hair was longer now and he resisted the urge to run his fingers through the soft strands, remembering the way it felt falling around him when they made love.

Get it together, John.

She was directly in front of him now, leaning down to pull the gauze back from his chest. John stifled a glorious shiver as her fingers traced along the stitches, leaving a trail of fire licking at his skin. Without thinking he reached up and grasped her hand, removing it from his chest. Nicole stilled, gazing down at him as he gently caressed her wrist. She took a deep breath in and retracted her hand from his grasp, tears building in her eyes.

"Nicole, what's wrong?" John stood as she took a step back from him. As the tears fell from her eyes he realized….he'd never seen her cry before.

She picked up her glass and downed it in one swift shot. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

John stepped toward her, laying a hand on her hip. "I know I hurt you before. I'm sorry Nicky-"

"You did more than just 'hurt my feelings,' John!" She air quoted and twisted out of his touch, backing up against the counter across the room.

"Then dammit tell me what's going on!" John slammed his fist down on the table, rattling the glasses.

"Will you keep it down!" She hissed, lowering her voice at him.

What?

John cocked his head at her. "No, Nicky, I won't!" He barked, throwing his hands out. "I never wanted to hurt you! You deserved a better life than what I could've given you. I didn't know what else to do-"

"Mom?" A small voice came from the dark hallway behind John. Nicole turned quickly and wiped frantically at her face to rid the tears. John spun around to face the voice. All the air left his lungs in one breath and he froze.

"Mommy, why are you crying? Did this man hurt you?" The boys features turned to stone as he glared across the living room at John, clenching his fists. Those eyes… that glare….

"No, sweetheart," she moved past John and knelt in front of the boy, taking his hands. "He's an old friend of Mommy's and we were talking about some memories and Mommy got sad. That's all." She brushed the boys cheek with her thumb. "C'mon, lets get you back to bed, its late." She stood and took his hand and lead him back towards the bedroom. They boy hesitated, eyes trained on John before turning with Nicole out of the room.

John stood for a moment staring down the hallway. His heart pounding in his ears, his hands numb and shaking as he turned and swiped the bottle of whiskey from the table. He popped the cork and drew a long gulp as he leaned his back against the counter.

A boy … a boy that was a spitting image of John but for the bright emerald eyes that matched Nicole's.

John shifted his weight to his other foot and he let out a disbelieving breath. The boy looked about seven years old.

Can't be…

His mind was running and spinning, but all added up… slamming into him like a semi making his knees feel weak. His gaze darting up to Nicole as she entered back into the kitchen. He opened his mouth to speak, but the look in her eyes answered his unspoken question.

She dropped her head and took the whiskey from him, taking a long gulp before leaning against the counter opposite John. They stood in silence for a moment before she spoke.

"This isn't how I wanted this conversation to go…" She said quietly.

"Jesus," John sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. John felt her gaze drift down him as he stretched, still shirtless. He ignored it for the moment as she brought her eyes back up to his. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why?!…What?! John I fucking tried for years to get a hold of you!" Tears began rolling down her cheeks again. "But you vanished… you went dark. I had no idea if you were alive or if you'd gotten yourself killed." Her lower lip quivered as she scolded him.

"You could've left a damn message!" He grabbed the whiskey from her grasp and upended it, desperate to ease the shock.

"And what? For Dean to find it? 'Cause that would've gone over real well!" She crossed her arms over her chest, raising her eyebrows at him.

Fuck…

John sighed, dropping his shoulders in defeat as he stepped towards her, his voice softening. "You're right…"

"No one knew where you were and I figured….I figured everyone would be better off…if-" She tried to stifle a sob as another tear fell down her cheek.

John stepped close and cradled her cheek, thumbing the tear away. "I'm so sorry, Nicky. I should've…." He sighed and pulled her in to his chest. "I'm sorry, baby girl."

He rested his chin on her head, breathing in the smell of her shampoo. He'd forgotten what it felt like to hold her close, breathe her in….God she was intoxicating.

John gently pulled back from her, his hand tangled at the base of her neck. "You were the only one that made me feel again since Mary. And I got spooked of how perfect you felt…didn't want to ruin your life… hell of a job I did on that…"

"My heart was gone the moment I laid eyes on you, John. There was no escaping it." She laid a hand on his chest and smiled up at him through the tears. "And you didn't ruin my life…You gave me an amazing son."

John gave her a small smile, nodding as he stepped back a pace, taking another drag off the whiskey. "Whats his name?"

"Jacob…He likes to go by Jake." Nicole leaned back against the counter again.

John's gaze grew nervous as he looked over to her. "Does…does he know about me?"

Nicole nodded. "Yeah. He doesn't know what you look like, our picture got destroyed during a hunt. I lost the whole backpack that it was in." She waved her hand and shook her head. "But he knows all about you. He asks about you…from time to time." Her tears had stopped and there was a small smile on her face as she gazed at John.

"What do you tell him?"

"That you're out saving people from the evil monsters with his older brothers."

John lets out a small laugh and takes another drink of whiskey, his buzz slowly setting in. "So…now what?"

Nicole sighed and dropped her eyes to the floor for a moment before returning to John. "That's up to you, John. He deserves to have a relationship with his father, but you only take that step if you're fully vested to this." She points at him, her voice cracking. "If you break his heart…"

"Hey." John steps to her, taking her head in his hands, their faces inches apart. "If you want this…us." His gazed down at her. "Then I'm done running…I'll still hunt. But I'll always come back to you. To Jake." He sighed as tears stung at his eyes. "He doesn't deserve to grow up without his father. I wanna do right by him. By you." John leaned in and pressed his lips gently to hers. Nicole balked at first before opening herself and returning his kiss.

John broke from her slowly and pulled back to look into her eyes. "What d'ya say, Nicky?"

"Are you lying to me, John?" She whispered, her breath skimming his lips.

He shook his head, holding her gaze. "If I kiss you again…" his voice dropping an octave. "If we do this….I'm never letting you go."

"Promise?" She searched his eyes, trying to read if he truly meant it.

John dove into her, claiming her lips as he pressed her back against the counter. His hands tracing her body hungrily from her neck down to her hips. She responded instantly to him, knitting her fingers through his hair. His hands reached her bottom and squeezed, lifting her up onto the counter to stand between her legs as she wrapped them around his waist. He tangled his hands in her hair as their kisses grew more fervent and demanding.

God he had missed her. He felt alive and whole whenever he'd been with her. The world felt right, as if everything made sense and that this was where he was meant to be.

Nicole pulled back a moment, pushing his shoulders gently. Her gaze was one of longing… yet nervous.

"I'm gonna warn you right now, John." She panted lightly as her eyes bore into him. "You take off again…like before…I'll hunt you down and kill you myself."

John smirked at her as his eyes darkened. "Yes, ma'am."