Author's Note:

Thanks so much, everyone who reviewed my other stories, especially Terrahfry with her wonderfully rambling reviews on Cold Hands, Warm Heart ^^ I love you. This has nothing to do with the plot of Cold Hands, Warm Heart but is also a Fry/Bender, although it takes Fry much longer in this one to realize where he and Bender stand in their relationship. And where they should. And could. I hope you like it, I had fun writing this first chapter, and there will be more! c:

I've lived with the Planet Express crew for a while now, being cute and cuddly, eating ridiculously large things, and occasionally saving the universe. I've come to know all the employees very well, even if usually in the guise of a dumb pet, as I've so often had to pose. Professor Hubert Farnsworth, the dangerously senile scientist possessing far to many doomsday devices to allow me an easy night of sleep, and a rich girl from Mars who appears to be his intern or something, Amy Wong. Spoiled and shallow as she is, I have witnessed some truly touching moments between her and Kif Kroker that make me feel as fuzzy inside as my black fur outside. Hermes Conrad, an obsessive Jamaican bureaucrat, John Zoidberg, "M.D." (nothing but quotation marks are appropriate in relation to his highly dubious medical degree), a Decapodian with next to none knowledge of human anatomy and a hazardous access to all sorts of sharp surgery tools. Cubert and Dwight, the seldom seen, highly irritating tweens. Then of course there's Turanga Leela, the cyclops mutant who rescued me from the imploding Vergon 6. She's controlling, predictable, naggy and meddling, but Phillip J. Fry, an idiot from the stupid ages, has been professing his love for her from almost the day he met her. She turns him down each time, and one can only take too many rejections. He's tried other women, and seems to get over Leela fairly easily in those cases, but always comes crawling back. His best friend is Bender Bending Rodriguez, an alcoholic and kleptomaniac bending unit, not to mention his irritating cigars. I like watching this crew as if it were a highly moronic soap opera, and even I can see that Mr. Rodriguez is not as straight as he absolutely insists he is. I would say that even an idiot could notice Bender's devoted love for a certain human, but the human himself is an idiot and obviously does not notice, so I can't.

Oh, it drives me insane. Now that they all know I can talk, I could just tell Fry (of course it's Fry! Did you really ever expect it to be anyone else?) that his best friend is in love with him, since he's too thick-skulled to see it. It may not just be the skull size, however, it is more probably a combination of the thickness of the cranium and infinitesimal size of the brain itself. But that would never work. Bender must tell him himself, that's the only way it can be done. A thousand years ago, I promised Fry that I'd do my best to fix him up with Leela. Now, I'm going to have to break that promise for his own sake. Plus, he never had a chance with Leela! I'm not going to all that trouble! If he could only see how happy he'd be with his robot friend… if he could only realize how much Bender loved him… how uncharacteristically terrified Bender is of Fry finding out, of the idea of actually telling him how he feels… I can only hint futilely at Fry, since subtlety is lost on him. Try to get him to open his mind a little, realize that there are other opportunities for love than Leela, or even women, or even humans. That the person who is the most dedicated to him (although has come close to killing him multiple times, but they both know he wouldn't really) is no farther than his own apartment. See, they wouldn't even have to move their stuff to move in together! They already live together! Bender cut off his own antenna one time to secure his living arrangements with Fry! (That was before my time at Planet Express, but I have heard talk of it since. Mostly from Bender. Muttered in his sleep. No, I don't stalk them in their apartment! That robot falls asleep on the couch while watching cooking shows!) If that's not love, I'm not sure what is.

If Fry searched his heart, he'd find that there always was and always will be (well, was since he became the robot's best, first, and only friend) a piece reserved for Bender. That little piece could grow, expand, and flourish, if only he could find it and acknowledge it, accept it, embrace it, and indulge in whatever lecherous Bender-related activities it craves.

Fry was in the locker rooms of the Planet Express building, trying to find his red sweater, which was tied around his waist.

"Oh, hi, Nibbler," he said, smiling as I walked in, dignified on two adorable little pawsies as opposed to the monkey-like gait I exhibited when posing as a dumb animal.

"Hello," I replied, trying to hop up onto the bench, but falling a few inches short. I scrabbled against the edge, trying to reach the seat, but couldn't until Fry lifted me up and set me on the stained wood.

"Thank you," I told him with dignity.

"No problem. Hey, have you seen my sweater?"

"The red one that you never wash?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"I may have seen it around someplace," I feign, looking straight at it, knotted around the top of his jeans.

"Where?" asked Fry. "Aw, it better be in this dimension."

"I think it is, but first, I'd like to discuss something with you."

"Sure. What up?" the redhead asked, sitting on the bench beside me.

"How are things with Leela?"

He looked down, his eyes turning sad. "Not so good. She just can't get over seeing me as a really good friend. She says I'm like a brother, and also, she's against incest! I mean, so am I, but..."

"Maybe you should try someone else."

"Who? Amy? I've already gone out with her. She's got Kif, and they're happy."

"You know, there are potential partners outside of many of the categories you seem to take for granted in your relationships. Like being human, for example."

"I dated that Lucy Liu-bot once. It didn't work out. And Yivo. That really didn't work out. Stupid Bender. If it weren't for him, I could still be with Yivo."

My three eyes widened. Here was my chance! "Bender is a very good friend. He missed you, and was jealous of Yivo. He rescued you- also, he wore a cool pirate hat!"

"The hat was cool, but why couldn't he have just left us alone? We were happy."

"But he wasn't. Would you really sacrifice his happiness for yours?"

The delivery boy paused. "I'm not sure. I don't understand why he wasn't happy. The robots had Earth all to themselves! He had all his fembot floozies! What else did he want?"

"Didn't he say who he did the whole pirate-themed attack for?"

"Uhhh… Scruffy?"

"No, you moronic idiot! You!"

"Hey, there's nothing moronic about being an idiot. Wait-" he said, much more surprised than he should have been. His eyes enlarged, and then grew sad. "He did that all for me?"

"Yes, you imbecile!" I said, doing a little jig upon the bench in frustration. "He told you!"

"I thought he was kidding or something!" Fry said guiltily. "He really destroyed heaven for me? Wow, he must really like being my friend."

I leapt off the bench, my red cape flying, and headed towards the door of the locker rooms without another word.

"Wait!" the redhead cried. "Where's my sweater?"

"Look into your heart, and you'll know," was my cryptic reply. Alright, it didn't make much sense, but it sounded deep. Besides, it wasn't really his sweater he should be looking for in his heart, or at least it shouldn't be, and if his sweater did somehow turn up in his heart, I'd blame Doctor Zoidberg.