Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within the story. All rights belon to Stephenie Meyer.

I was sure I was about to make what would either be the defining moment or the biggest mistake of my already unbelievably, tragic teenage existence.

Pain seared in my chest and all I could think about was how the hole was slowly igniting and tearing around the edges.

I had to take this step. I had to move on. If I continued to cling to the past I would never recover from loosing Edward.

The burn in my chest flared as I thought of him. He was gone and had made it perfectly clear he would never return. He-didn't-want-me. There, I thought it, the memory that I had buried deep within my psyche, the thought that I had parcelled up nicely and crammed into the part of my brain that I only ever visited on my very darkest of days.

I had kidded myself. Edward had always been just out of reach, just too perfect, just too good for me. Now I was left to torment myself to near insanity with what ifs and what might have been.

Jacob quietly cleared his throat, bringing me back to reality. He had been more that generous with the time he made for me. Despite my denial of him, he was my best friend. I never once doubted that. His friendship was never in question, but could I let him be more than that? Would it be fair of me to take advantage of his generosity further?

Oh, I knew he wouldn't object, but could I bring myself to make empty promises to him. He was so innocent, so untouched by heart break and despair. Could I inflict those on him just to satisfy a morbid curiosity within myself? If I did it would be the end of our friendship.

Jacob wore his heart on his sleeve. It's a cliché, but with Jacob, what was in him always came out, it bubbled involuntarily to the surface. I knew well how he felt about me; I saw and experienced his attempts at blurring the friendship lines on a daily basis. But to let him, to allow the blurring just so I could feel better about myself, was so wrong on so many different levels. There would be no turning back; we would never be just Jake and Bells again.

All I had to do was decide. Would I be able to cope if things didn't work out; If my feelings for him didn't develop into something more than they were, and ultimately if he discovered this truth and decided that he deserved more than a rebound relationship?

Whatever followed would change us both, forever.

Jacob pulled over to the kerb and turned to face me.

"You sure you're going to be ok?" he asked gently. Worry creased his brow.

"Um...yeah, I'll be ok; I'm going to have a shower and try to get some sleep." I fiddled with the hem of the sweater Jacob had loaned me. My nerves were getting the better of me. I was lingering too long, I should have just said goodbye and got out the truck but my body was defying me.

"Bella," he whispered, "Please. Promise me you'll be ok. It's just...I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

I turned to him. "Jacob. I'm so sorry about the cliff jump. I was going to wait for you; I don't know what came over me. It wasn't intentional."

We sat in silence for a few moments. With every passing second the tension within me grew. My brain wanted me to get out of the truck and run, realising that Jacob and I had come to an impasse, while my body willed me to close the small gap between us and soak up every ounce of warmth it could from Jacob, not just the physical warmth but the spiritual warmth he emitted too.

I gave him a long look, my brain fighting my body for dominance, before turning away and opening the door. "I'll see you, okay?" Dropping my face towards the ground I heaved myself forward.

"Bella..." Before I could stop him, Jacob's hand was on top of mine pulling the door shut. He snaked his arm around my waist and hauled me close into his side. I turned to ask what the hell he was thinking, that's when I saw it, my own pain reflected in his eyes. Any ideas of telling him off evaporated immediately.

A darkness had settled into his eyes and his face had taken on a gauntness I had never seen on him before. The pain that radiated from within him momentarily frightened me. My mind skipped into overdrive trying to decipher the signs he was showing. Swallowing hard, Jacob rested his forehead on mine. His warm musky scent washed over me and I understood. This was it; this was why he'd been so quiet on the way here. He had been planning this, probably even before we got in the truck at La Push. He was going to go for it.

I closed my eyes and sighed out slowly. That was all it took for my mind to catch up and for me to make the decision to leave the truck, immediately.

I pulled out of his grip and pushed the heavy metal door wide and left so quickly I had to look around to get my bearings. It took a moment for Jacob to register that I'd left the truck. He quickly threw open the driver's door and jumped onto the gravel.

I pretended to ignore him and quickly headed towards the house. My efforts were in vain, he quickly caught up with me, grasping my elbow and spinning me on my heels.

"Jesus Bells, what's the hurry?"

"Jake...please... don't do this," I pleaded.

"Don't do this? " He bit his lower lip angrily. "Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't do this..." His voice turned petulant as he tightened his grip on my elbow. This was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.

Even in anger Jacob was beautiful. Drops of rain flowed through his cropped hair, down his smooth forehead and into his dark brows. They made their journey across his cheek, falling from his jaw onto his chest, darkening his t-shirt further as they soaked into the fabric. I shifted my gaze towards his eyes, they pierced into my soul.

I knew what was coming.

The pain that lay behind them was evident. I didn't want to hurt him, but he was leaving me no option. I raised my hands to gently stroke his cheek, to try and wipe away the pain, a longing fire fell into his eyes, a reflection of how I had felt much too often over the past six months. If I followed through on this I could never go back. I loved him too much.

I was no stranger to the feelings that had momentarily betrayed him and I would never hurt him the way Edward had hurt me.

I closed my eyes and braced for impact.

His soft, full lips warmly brushed mine and a whole new type of torture went hurtling its way down the highway to my battered soul.

His hand found its way to the small of my back, I flinched at the heat, but his touch was feathery light. He gently entwined my hair with the other

The kiss began slowly, him resting his lips on mine. They were unbelievably soft.

Jacob swallowed hard and drew a breath so deep his lungs must have been a step away from bursting. Then, with his strategically placed hand, he brought me closer and enveloped me with his warm embrace. Our lips moved in tandem, first softly, then deeper with each passing breath. His tongue traced my lower lip, willing me to open up.

I let him in, drinking in his warmth. He was deliciously sweet. The taste of him doused the fire rimmed hole in my chest and left a completely new sensation in its place, a faint tremor that grew stronger as the kiss continued. I shook as my heart thumped in time with his, an unexpected, new sensation

This couldn't be my Jacob. His recent growth spurt had definitely transformed him into a man overnight but where had he learned to kiss like this?

He was unrestrained. I had so wanted to kiss Edward like this, with passion and abandonment. I had been rejected every time I tried. With Jacob there would be no rejection.

Surrender or fight was my only choice now.

I raked my fingers into his hair and gently tugged. He scooped me up and I clung to him for dear life as the kiss started to become more than I'd intended. My body was ablaze, what had started as a smouldering kiss was quickly becoming an out of control inferno.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he brought me to rest on the side of the truck. The growing pressure between us was intoxicating and delicious and dangerous. This was not the first time I'd lost composure with a kiss. This was the first time I'd lost composure with Jacob.

I was taking this too far, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop. Jacob's breathing hitched and a growl rumbled deep within his chest.

"Shit Bella," he moaned, forcing the words through the kiss. "We've got to..." I could hear the torment in his voice, but still I held fast, testing his patience and restraint way too far. God what was wrong with me?

My mind screamed at me to get a grip. My body had other ideas.

"Bella please," he whispered, "this is killing me..."

With one hand he reached up and began prying my fingers from his hair. I knew the incredible kiss was coming to an end and I couldn't help but take his removal of me as absolute rejection. How could I have been stupid enough to let things get this far?

I was overcome with chagrin. The blood which had carried the tremors coursing through my veins betrayed me and pooled promptly around my usually pasty cheeks. Unable to bring myself to look at my friend, I opted to stare at the sidewalk.

"Bella, don't... I mean... please..." He was struggling to find the words to stem the flood that was about to happen.

Oh god, was I that obvious?

I could feel the burning rivers begin to cascade over the brim of my eyes. Jacob remained silent as I came to pieces before him.

I had really messed up our friendship.

"Jake, I'm... I'm... so sorry," I sobbed. "I... I thought this was what you wanted." I pulled away from him. My head started to swim and as I turned away. I quickly recognized the sensation in my head that indicated that I was heading towards the curb, face first.

Jacob caught me from behind and crushed me to his chest.

Oh god this was worse than any scenario I had run through in my head.

All this time I had been kidding myself that Jake really wanted me but now my brain was fighting to convince me that the emotion I had misread as love was pity.

Poor Bella, poor, broken up, shot to shit, hung out to dry Bella.

Sad thing is; my brains attempt at sarcastic self reflection was closer to the truth than I was prepared to admit aloud to anyone.

Jake began to tremble behind me, the ripples dancing through his forearms intensifying with every passing moment. I had to break free. I had to get away before he phased.

"Jake?" No more than a whisper escaped. "Jake... Let go!" His hold on me tightened. "For god sake Jake you're going to crush me! Please. Let. Me. Go!" Panic drenched my cry.

Suddenly, I stumbled free towards the tarmac, my hands flailing out as if to steady myself. I grasped the air as my sneakers found the grip I so desperately craved, beneath me.

I took off, sprinting like the lunatic that I was towards the safety of Charlie's front porch, I didn't dare look back.

I lurched up the steps tripping over my own feet, practically taking out the front door as I went; slamming it shut seemed the only way to claw back a shred of the dignity that I had lost. I jammed myself against the rough grain of the wood, heart thumping like a jack hammer, tears streaking down my face.

I'd done it this time, with one fell swoop I had obliterated the most important friendship that I had, my only reason for living now. I glanced from the tiny arch window at the top of the door, surveyed the devastation I had left behind.

The image I saw was heart breaking. The rain was battering down and in the middle of the street, where I left him, was Jake; on his knees, head in hands.