Where do we go from here?

by Iloveyoureal

Dan realises that he's in love with his best friend, but that can never be right, could it? and what if, deep down, Phil felt the same. What if it was really eating both of them alive...

Have you ever wanted something so badly, but known that, deep down, you can never have it, its something thats so fragile but out of reach, and not tangible, no matter how hard you try?

That something that eats you up inside and consumes you until you feel like its what you are, that you are no longer you, but the want is so great that it is woven into the very fabric of your being, well I have one; and it's not just something small, but something that it so unpredictable, radical and out of kilter that I can't cope with it myself.

I just can't.

But he can't see, he can't see the ache inside me, and when he does, I would never, ever, let him know that him, perfect Phil Lester, was the one that caused this hole to be ripped open inside of me.

Because that's the truth, I'm in love with my best friend. but am I? I can't be. I'm Dan, Daniel James Howell, the guy that couldn't be gay, no one would ever expect it.

But I can't cope with it anymore.

So, where do we go from here?