All characters would be copyright Vince McMahon if I hadn't killed him off. The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities between actual living people (except their names, physical appearance, and who they're sleeping with) is purely coincidental. Tom Baker-Hardy courtesy the author.
Roses
After their hellacious match at Summerslam, both Degeneration X and Priceless requested a rematch for the following night's RAW and guest host Floyd "Money" Mayweather was only too happy to agree to it. With Chairman Vince McMahon rapidly turning into compost, this whole idea of Guest Hosts for RAW was going to be shelved once they were past the big PPV, but several weeks of television had already been written including them. At the end of the match came the first of many surprises for the WWE universe. It was the first appearance of Randy Orton and the trio of Hardys that shocked everyone, but that shock soon turned to confusion when they attacked the four participants in the ring, laying them all out with multiple chair shots.
Tom grabbed the mic from Lillian Garcia and addressed the crowd. "You may know who we are, but you people really haven't got a clue otherwise."
There was nothing even remotely reminiscent of their previous characters. Gone were all traces of cargo pants, arm wraps, short trunks, everything. All four of them were dressed identically in black jeans, red t-shirts, black leather jackets, and sunglasses. Jeff had even dyed his hair black. One the back of their jackets was the insignia of four playing cards with the words "The four Aces" beneath them as well as "Orton", "Baker", or "Hardy" above.
"This company fucked us over royally and now we're back to do the same to them." Orton shouted "Priceless, DX, Jeri-Show, it doesn't matter... we're talking over."
This comment was directed at the four men they'd just beaten the living hell out of who were staggering up the ramp, looking confused. "We're not here about titles, we're hear about rippin' ass and taking names." Orton added before handing the mic over to Matt.
"I used to care about what the fans thought. Hell, I made peace with Jeff for you guys. But when I read all the comments about my weight gain, it makes me sick to my stomach. Nobody bothered to get the facts before tearing into me. Well, enough is enough! What you see before you is Matt Hardy version 2. And this time, there will be no MF'ers to hold me back. Everything I need is in this ring with me."
Randy, Tom, and Jeff nodded agreement. Finally, Jeff took the mic.
"I put up with the abuse, the name-calling, the slurs, people trying to hurt me for the choices I made for long enough. The time has come for no more words... it's time for action."
Jeff waited for the boos to die down before handing the mic back to Tom.
"I did everything for you fans. I turned a third-rate brand into the hottest thing on the planet and what do I get for my trouble. A former boss taking advantage of me and my family every chance he got. Well, you saw what we did to Vince McMahon... consider the rest of you warned. Stay the hell out of our way."
"Have these guys flipped?" Michael Cole asked The King.
"I don't think so. This was calculated." Lawler replied
"And the first thing we're gonna do is issue a challenge." Tom said, then handed the mic back to Randy.
"You saw what we did to those posers in Priceless and DX. If there are four of you with enough hair on your asses to come out here, we're looking for a fight. In fact, we're not going anywhere until we get an answer."
Tom jumped out of the ring and grabbed four folding chairs from ringside. He slid them into the ring and the four of them sat down and waited.
"King, what are these guys doing?" Cole asked
"I think they're waiting for a fight." Lawler replied
"Quite right, King. You should tell your broadcast partner to stop asking stupid questions unless he wants his voice box removed." Matt replied
They waited. Minutes passed and still no answer. The Aces were getting a little restless.
"Hey, we ain't got all night. If you can't find four guys to fight us, then maybe we just grab four bystanders." Tom stared right at the broadcast position. "Whaddaya say King... you wanna piece o' this? I saw what you did to THE Brian Kendrick... wanna try it on someone who can actually fight back?"
Jerry stood and it looked like he was going to get into the ring, when then opening strains of "My Time Is Now" caused the arena to erupt into cheers. John Cena, fresh from his most recent match, stood on the top of the stage.
"I don't know what you are trying to prove, but if you think there aren't four guys who wanna go postal on ya asses, they you're freakin' wrong dawgs."
Randy grabbed the mic and addressed his long-time rival. "Cena, on your best day you were half the man I was. What makes you think you stand a chance right now?"
"Y'know, dawg, looking in that ring, I see four of the biggest jerk-offs this company ever made the mistake of letting into a ring." Cena said, prompting the crowd to start chanting "Jerk-off!"
"Whatever." Randy scoffed "At least I'm not a pretender like you. John Cena, a guy who thinks he can act. Instead of "the franchise", they should've called you "Mr. Straight-to-video". As for your rap career, I've heard you were outsold by the Greatest Hits of Milli Vanilli last month."
"Yo dawg, you can say what you want, but I'm here to tell you that if you want a fight, I brought some friends who got a few things to say to ya."
CM Punk came out next and tore into Jeff's lifestyle.
"Hey, Cookie Monster." Jeff shouted back. "Maybe if you weren't so busy cramming your straight-edge lifestyle down everyone's throat, you may have had enough time to get some talent. The only time you ever win titles is when you sneak attack people. "Mr. Money in the Bank"? I don't think so... more like shit in the tank!"
"Jeff. I've beaten you before and tonight I will be more than happy to lay a beating down on you. But we're not the only ones who have a thing with you."
The next person to appear shocked everyone, especially Tom. It was Tommy Dreamer.
"Lemme guess, Tommy. You gotta problem with me." Tom leaned on the top rope and addressed the ECW representative.
"Fuckin' a, man. I am the last of the ECW originals. I've busted my ass for ECW since the beginning and what thanks do I get... none! You make me lose the championship in Philadelphia for one thing and if that ain't bad enough, you kick me out of the title picture for some dumb Brit who couldn't draw a crowd with a pad of paper and a pack of crayons!" Dreamer spouted
"Since when is your lack of talent my concern." Tom waved Dreamer away.
Matt came forward and took the mic. "And now I guess you're going to find someone who has a problem with me, right. Well, bring it on!"
The arena suddenly went dark and Kane's music played. When the lights finally came back on, Kane was there, but he wasn't on the stage with Cena, Punk, and Dreamer... he was in the ring and had Matt Hardy in a choke slam.
Before the other three had time to react, Matt was on his back in the middle of the ring. Punk, Dreamer, and Cena rushed the ring and the fight was on. With Matt out flat, the other Aces were four-on-three, so they did the next best thing... Jeff and Tom grabbed two of the chairs they'd been sitting on and started swinging. This gave Randy enough time to roll Matt out of the ring, then they all ran for cover.
"This ain't over." Tom pointed at the four men standing tall. "Not by a long shot." Matt was being held up by Randy and Jeff.
The theme song of the guest host du jour interrupted them and Money, in all his crunk glory and with his entourage in tow, stood up top.
"Since you all wanna get up in it, whatsay we have an eight man elimination tag match tonight? You been here alla ten minutes and already you're stirrin' shit." He looked disgusted.
"You four against those four and we'll see who's left standin'."
"Just because you have a victory over Big Show, where do you get off tellin' us what to do?" Orton shouted
"I run this shit tonight, and if you don't like it, you can deal with my boys." Money pointed to his crew, who struck menacing poses.
The Aces walked right past, not bothering with a comment or anything. They dragged Matt to their private locker room where a rather large ice pack was applied to his head and neck.
"When they said we're gonna be stirring the shit, they weren't kidding!" Tom said
"Whassup with the Smackdown and ECW guys though?" Jeff asked "I thought we were supposed to be just talkin' smack to the RAW guys tonight?"
"Creative must've changed their minds or some junk." Tom shrugged
They were interrupted by the new head of the WWE: Linda McMahon, in tow with one of the producers.
"Good job." She said
"What's with the SD and ECW guys?" Orton asked
"Well, in a nutshell TNA is starting to overtake us in the ratings, so I met with the producers and decided that we're going to stir things up a bit more. It will be announced officially next week, but seeing as how much the fans are liking the Superstars program, we're going to drop the brand dividers and have everyone compete on every show."
Tom nodded. He'd actually proposed something like this during his tenure as the ECW General Manager, but with Vince in charge it hadn't been taken seriously.
"What about the titles?" Matt asked, adjusting the ice bag so it rested more comfortably.
"We're not sure yet. There's talk of amalgamation of the three heavyweight titles and the IC and US titles, but we won't do anything until we see how the combining of the three shows go." Linda responded
"Another thing." She added "Tonight's match is all on the fly. We want to create an air of spontaneity on RAW. Fans know that it's the only live weekly show we do, so we want to get back to that 'anything can happen' atmosphere."
"Just to satisfy my curiosity, is this basically you' making us the next NWO?" Tom asked, stretching out on the bench.
"Not really. We want to go back to the old days of stables." Linda replied "But not to that extreme. We'd like you four to take on anyone and everyone. Have the fans cheer for you sometimes, and have them hate you others. It hasn't been done on this scale ever."
"Not since the Hart Foundation did their whole anti-U.S. thing." Matt added "Sounds like an interesting challenge, Mrs. McMahon."
"I hope you're up for it."
"If we weren't, we would not be here." Tom replied
"And one last thing." One of the producers stuck his head around Linda. "Until this gets some steam, please don't associate with any of the guys in a social situation. What you do here and privately is your own business, but if this is gonna work the way we want it to, you've gotta be seen as total outcasts."
"Not a problem. Most of the guys hate us anyway." Orton added
"Your match is in an hour." Linda and the producer left.
"Does that mean we can go to catering at least?" Tom asked "I need some energy."
No sooner had he said that, then there was a knock on their locker room door.
"Linda sent these for ya." Two trays of submarine sandwiches were placed on a nearby bench along with a cooler of Gatorade. "Good luck."
"I guess that answers that." Matt dove in to the food.
...
"This content is the elimination tag team match. Elimination can occur by pinfall, submission, countout, or disqualification. The match will continue until one team has been completely eliminated. Introducing team number one... first, From Yonkers, New York... Tommy Dreamer."
This was not an extreme rules match, yet Tommy arrived pushing a shopping cart full of weapons.
"His partner, from Chicago Illinois, CM Punk!"
Punk came out, doing his whole straight-edge gimmick, which if you don't mind me saying, was getting old fast.
"And their partner, Kane."
The arena lights dimmed again for the entrance of the Big Red Machine.
"And their partner, from West Newberry, Massachusetts, John Cena!"
Once all four of them were in the ring, they eyes each other suspiciously. To a man, they distrusted each other, but they were united against their common enemy.
"And their opponents... Randy Orton, Tom Baker, Jeff Hardy, and Matt Hardy... the Four Aces!"
They walked out, no pyro, no entrance theme, nothing. Just four very intense-looking men. Their covered eyes betraying no emotion.
"This ain't scripted, right?" Tom whispered "Grab a weapon."
As they passed Dreamer's cart, they each grabbed something. One Singapore cane, a crutch, a stop sign, and a trash can all ended up in the hands of the Aces. They split up and each climbed to a different corner.
Cena, Dreamer, Kane, and Punk stood in the center of the ring, looking a little uneasy. Dreamer's idea of the weapons had completely backfired.
Matt looked to his three partners and nodded to each. They nodded a reply and jumped into the ring, weapons swinging. The match hadn't started yet, so whatever they could get in was okay.
Several more officials were needed before order was restored sufficiently to allow the match to begin. But by then, Dreamer was busted open, Punk was busted open, and Cena was writhing in a pain on the floor. Only Kane was unhurt to that degree so he started the match and in a big way.
The Aces decided to just attack Kane as a unit, but it didn't work real well as shortly there was an Ace whipped into each corner, followed by a series of running clotheslines. This left four bodies sagging against each set of turnbuckles and a confused referee as to who was the legal opponent for Kane. So he did the best thing he could. He randomly picked someone to start the match and then tried to get the other three back to their corner. Unluckily, he picked the one person to start the match who also had a set of brass knuckles in his jeans. No sooner was the referee's back turned, then Tom knocked Kane for a loop. Kane was out and a pin would've been academic at that point, but pain was on the agenda for the Aces. Tom ascended the neutral corner and flew onto Kane, then tagged in Jeff who did the same thing.
By now, Kane was barely conscious, so what did Jeff do? Tagged in his brother Matt who dropped Kane hard with a Twist of Fate. Now Kane was also sporting the crimson mask, but they weren't finished. Orton tagged himself in and delivered not one, not two, not three, but four RKO's to the fallen man.
He nonchalantly covered Kane for the one two three, and could've covered him for a lot more than that if he'd wanted and laughed gleefully when Kane was rolled out of the ring and even more when the stretcher had to be brought down for him.
The Aces waited while Cena, Dreamer, and Punk tried to figure out what to do. Cena reluctantly agreed to get in, he being only one without an obscured vision.
Orton waved Cena on. John did not look real confident, squaring off with what some have called pound-for-pound one of his toughest opponents. Randy noticed John's trepidation so he generously tagged out to Tom.
Tom stepped in and mocked Cena's Marine salute for turning it into a one-finger gesture. Cena shrugged and turned away slightly, then charged Tom. Baker wasn't fooled for one second. He stepped to the side and flipped Cena over the top rope, catching his neck between the twisted upper and middle strands.
"Back it up!" The referee pushed between Tom and Cena when it looked like Tom wasn't going to let Cena untangle himself. Tom was smart enough to argue with the referee in such a way that his back was to Cena so Matt and Jeff could each grab a leg and start pulling, intensifying the pain.
Once Tom saw that his brothers had finished their deviousness, he stepped back and 'allowed' the referee to help Cena right himself. It didn't help because once he turned around, Tom was waiting with a Twist of fate to the man from Mass. Tagging in Jeff, it was a matter of a swanton and a three count and the Aces were halfway done.
Dreamer and Punk looked at each other like "What the fuck is going on here?"
"Who's next?" Tom gestured to the pair of bloody wrestlers. CM Punk smirked and stepped in to face Tom.
"Straight-edge, my ass!" Tom sneered "I'm not wasting my time with you." He tagged Matt back in.
Punk had a little more success against Matt, landing a couple of punches and a cross-body block, but Matt rolled with it and ended up on top where he pommeled him, making him bleed more with each punch.
"Matty... me!" Jeff pleaded, bouncing on the apron, his arm outstretched for the tag.
Matt looked over. "Anything for my baby brother." He graciously tagged Jeff back in, who continued to mete out the punishment.
"No booze... no cigarettes... no promiscuous sex... no fun!" He emphasized each no with a leg drop.
On the ring apron, the others laughed.
"Prolly 'coz he's got nothing to have sex with!" Tom exclaimed
"Prolly." Jeff got a wicked look that Tom immediately recognized. "May I?"
"Just this once." Tom answered
Jeff set Punk up for a clothesline and purposely missed. Punk thought he was good when he kicked Jeff in the stomach and turned around to tag Dreamer in, but Jeff was playing possum. The second Punk's back was to him, Jeff reached out and yanked his trunks down to his ankles.
Punk covered up but not before the live audience learned two things about him. One is that he did not wear underwear under his tights and the second was that he wasn't Jewish! His face turned an shade similar to the accents on his tights, and he tried to pull them up and tag Tommy Dreamer at the same time, neither of which worked as Jeff tripped him and pinned him for the one two three. CM could've kicked out, but I think he was too afraid of more people getting to know him a lot more.
This left four on Dreamer. Needless to say the last of the ECW originals was not feeling so confident. So what did he do... he took off! It was academic once the referee began his ten count.
"Here are your winners... the four aces."
Orton grabbed the mic away as soon as they were announced. "If that's the best you have, then we're gonna have no problem taking over."
The four men stood in the middle of the ring, arms raised.
"Let's get the hell outta here." Tom whispered "This crowd doesn't look like they're gonna serenade us with 'for he's a jolly good fella'."
The quartet high-tailed it to the back and into their private quarters.
"I think I'm gonna like this new gig." Tom made a beeline for the remaining subs.
"Ditto. But I'm just wondering about the name... the Four Aces?" Matt asked
"Two reasons. The first is the card thing we did to see if we were going back. The second is I created a stable similar to ours on Smackdown versus Raw." Tom explained "I used other people, but I thought if anyone could personify what I thought the Aces stood for it was us."
Tom was suddenly interrupted by the sounds of commotion in the hall.
"Where the fuck are those assholes! That was uncalled for!"
"Sounds like Phil didn't like everyone seeing his junk." Tom motioned for silence. He quickly closed and locked their door and doused the light. He felt his way back to where he'd been sitting.
"What are you doing?" Jeff demanded hoarsely.
"Shhh... let them think we've already left. I'm hoping that at some point someone will tell them what the plan was." Tom motioned for everyone to lower their voices.
"So what do we do while we wait? I can't even see my sandwich!" Matt complained
"Fuck?" Jeff suggested
Tom almost slapped him, then he remembered they were trying to be quiet. "Jeffro, you can't do that quietly... hell, every time you come I'm thinking the neighbors are getting aroused."
"So Randy, the first time we meet, Jeff tells me that Matt's the loud one and then I have to practically stuff my fist down his throat to keep him quiet." He added
In the dark he couldn't tell, but was Randy smiling?
"He hasn't been loud with me." He answered "But we haven't actually done it yet."
"Twenty bucks." Jeff giggled
"Jeff, you are way too interested in your brother's sex life." In the dark, Tom could see Randy shake his head. He debated whether he should actually say what was on his mind.
"Randy, you are aware that Matt and Jeff had something together before I came along, right?"
Randy was a little shocked at this revelation. "Y'mean, the rumors were true?"
Matt swallowed. "I didn't know if I should tell you or not... this doesn't change my feelings for you."
"I though Philly was the city of brotherly love... not Cameron, North Carolina." Randy answered
"Randy... are... are you mad at me?" Matt asked
"Not really. In fact, this makes my next question a little easier to ask." Randy replied "How far did you and Jeff go?"
"All the way." Matt immediately cringed. "And with Tom too."
"Jeff and I were suffering from separation anxiety at the time... it was consensual." Tom answered
"What you three did on your own time was, and is, your own business." Randy answered
"Now that we're together, yours is the only cock for me." Matt reached over and rubbed Randy's member gently. "No offense, but I wish we were alone so I could have some of that cock right now."
Randy grinned cheesily. Thankfully the lights were out and Randy was in black jeans.
"Doesn't bother us. Jeffro and I were thinking the same thing." Tom clicked his teeth and began stroking little Jeff through the rough fabric, eliciting a soft moan from his husband.
"As long as you stay on your side of the room." Randy groaned and the next sound was that of a belt being unbuckled.
"We promise." Tom and Jeff said, entwining their mouths in a kiss while their hands started to explore each other's bodies.
Trying to look at innocent as possible, ECW reporter Gregory Helms had been asked to deliver a message to the Four Aces, which was proving difficult. There were at least half a dozen angry wrestlers looking for them, including an irate CM Punk.
"Hey, you!" Punk shouted
"Oh shit." Helms tucked the message he'd been given into his pocket. "Yeah, Phil, what's the problem?"
"You know what the problem is." Punk grabbed the front of Helms' shirt and pulled him nose-to-nose. "And since you're soooo close to them, maybe you could tell me where they're hiding?"
"I dunno, Phil." He lied "I don't see what the BIG problem is anyway." He glanced down at Punk's crotch, making his point perfectly clear.
"Fuck you and the Hurri-cycle you rode in on." Punk released his hold. "I want you to tell them that when I see them, I will hurt them real bad."
"Real bad, huh?" Helms replied "Wanna come back to the Hurri-cave and tell me what you wanna do to them?"
It took a second for it to register that Helms' was coming on to him.
"Screw you..." Punk stormed away.
"I'd rather screw you." Helms shouted after him. Quickly checking the scene out, he slid the note under the door of what was labeled 'maintenance' and then followed in the direction CM had.
The sounds of the paper sliding under the door halted the activities within the room. A partially-nude Jeff Hardy, as in nude from the waist down, heard the sound and crawled over to it. With no light, the only way he found it was going on the thing ray of light coming from under the door.
He quickly scanned the sheet. "Awesome!" He whispered, then "Oh Shit!"
"Are we talking about Matt's technique again?" Randy gasped, in the middle of receiving another of Matt's intense blow jobs.
"What's awesome and what's oh shit?" Tom asked "And why did you stop to get the mail in the first place?"
"Smackdown... we take out the Undertaker!" Jeff read by what little light there was.
"Is that the awesome... or the... oh shit?" Randy groaned
"I think that's the awesome part." Tom guessed "Now get back here and finish me off!"
"But don't you..."
"Not right now!" Tom growled. "Get over here."
Jeff scrambled over to do his husband's bidding, leaving the envelope half-open nearby. The oh shit was caused by the headline of a newspaper clipping that someone had tucked in. "CHARGES REVERSED IN SPADE ATTACKS"
TBC
This one will have a little more action than some of my previous works. I hope you enjoy it!