Just a little oneshot I decided to do for shits and giggles
I don't own epic battle fantasy
Natalie and Anna were roast already prepared cheeseburgers over a fire.
Anna: they look done to me
Natalie: Matt likes his food really well done
Anna: but they already have condiments on them
Natalie: he likes his condiments well done too
There was rustling.
Anna: there was I didn't hear it
Natalie: hey dumbass author, if your characters can't hear rustling then there isn't any rustling
Deadpool teleported in.
Deadpool: no breaking the fourth wall
Deadpool then grabbed the smash bros bat and hit natalie 50 ft. in the air causing her to explode.
Omnipresent announcer: Player 2 defeated. This game's winner is deadpool!
Deadpool: I'd like to thank Canada for making me possible
Anna: wait, you're canadian
Deadpool left the campsite covered in arrows.
Natalie: well I'm back, by the way, what was making that rustling?
Anna: this (holds up bush)
Natalie: ah weak enemy, kill it with a high level melee attack
Anna: actually if you were a gamer with nothing better to do then discover all of our games' hidden easter eggs you'd know bushes can be raised as pets (Puts the bush on her head)
Natalie: why'd you put it on your head?
Anna: cause animals are always cuter when they're on someone's head
Natalie: really (puts Nolegs on her head) I don't see it
Anna: hey where are Matt and Lance?
Natalie: Lance said that he wanted to teach Matt how to use a gun
Meanwhile at Name and address withheld where 6 bottle were set up as targets
Lance: alright Matt, this is a gun. You point it at your opponent and shoot them in the head by pulling the trigger
Matt: stop being douche and teach me already
Lance: alright here's your gun (gives a dangerous weapon to an idiot)
Matt: hey!
(I call it like it is)
Lance: you ready?
Matt: yep (aims gun at target)
Lance: wait, you can't shoot your gun without giving it a name first
Matt: oh, I'll call it little Tom
Lance: you can't call it a boy's name
Matt: Why not?
Lance: cause that makes you gay
Matt: and naming my gun doesn't
Lance: … I don't know how to respond to that
Matt: what's yours called?
Lance: gun (shoots 3 of the targets)
Matt: all right then (Begins concentrating)
Lance: hurry up!
Matt: AHHHHHH!
Lance: (hits matt on the back off his head) this isn't DBZ, now shoot a target already
Matt: fine (fires three shoot only for all of them to miss)
Lance: wow
Natalie: ow my knee, my 2nd favorite knee
Matt: oops
Back at the campsite Natalie was holding her knee since that dumbass swordsman who should have never been given a gun shot her
Matt: I can hear you
Anna: wait did you say that was your second favorite knee
Natalie: yeah, why
Anna: (shoots Natalie in her other knee)
Natalie: why would you do that?
Anna: 3 reasons
You were only shot in one knee and my parents told me to never do anything halfway
I hate you
I'm an archer and you can't have an archer without referencing skyrim
I can't stop talking in this format
Natalie: what does that last one have to do with me?
Anna: I needed something to take my anger out on
Natalie: wait, you play skyrim
Anna: where do you think all those shattered kneecaps came from
Suddenly all of the former adventurers from skyrim showed up
Random guy: there she is, the one who shot us in our knees
Anna: (gives bow to Natalie) I think she did it
Random guy: get her
Natalie: ah, (runs away using her staff and Anna's bow as crutches)
Anna: she can move fast with two shattered kneecaps
Back to the gunman and the dumbass
Matt: swordsman
Suddenly the two were trapped in quicksand
Evil native chief: hahahaha, after years of our bitter rivalry I've have tricked you two into quicksand
Lance: who's that
Matt: I have no idea
Evil native chief: and now you will die
Lance: of what old age
Matt: Seriously dude slipping small chunks of butter into our cereal would kill us faster
Matt and Lance stepped out of the quicksand and began a boss battle with the chief
30 minutes later
Matt: that fight was surprisingly difficult
Lance: how was I supposed to know he could summon every opponent we've ever faced?
Matt: he killed us like seven times, thank god for respawns
Lance: we even had to go to just to beat him
Matt: who are we talking to
Lance: I have no idea
Back with the girls
Anna: I'm sorry I shot you in your knee and sicked my enemies on you
Natalie: that's all right, it's nowhere close to the worst thing you've done. Why do you hate me though?
Anna: cause I'm supposed to be the game's main female character
Natalie: pardon?
Anna: Natz, your only useful skill is your ability to heal, I have that but unlike you I'm actually good in battle
Natalie: 0_0
Anna: I mean they killed aerith off for a reason
Matt: well girls we finally defeated that nutcase chief and got the final plot device weapon
Lance: now all we need is the final plot device attack and we'll final be able to beat the villain we saw at the inciting incident festival
Anna: great
Natalie: Anna shot me with an arrow
Lance: We'll leave you girls to it right Matt?
Matt: we're not making a lesbian porno
Lance: aww
Anna: you know we hate each other right
Sup Guys
Lance: ah, it's Sans one of the most difficult bosses from undertale
Matt: undertale?
Lance: it's the next fnaf
Matt: oh shit
Anna: guys it's just someone screwing with us, also you accuse someone of being a skeleton monster just because he talks in comic sans. That's racist!
Lance: social justice warrior
I have no idea what I'm doing