Fic title: Solitary Tears
Penname: DBZVegeta
Summary: With the loss of his other half, Elrohir retreats within himself.
Rating: PG-13
# of Chapters: 1
Category: Angst/Character Death
Sequel: Sequel to Lonely Tear
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.R. Tolkien and various publishers. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended
Solitary Tears
The smile on my face isn't real. I know it isn't, he knows it isn't. The façade I hold over my emotions has become so real to me though, that at times I cannot tell if this is living or not. Father has finally stopped staring at me with those concerned eyes. I think that he has been fooled by my mask, how I am not sure. Maybe because this mask that I wear finally has given him some peace, even if it doesn't to me.
He's leaving today. His father has decreed that he must return and pick up his duties. I can see in his expression that this troubles him greatly, but I smile at him and tell him that it will be all right. He smiles back, but I can see that it doesn't reach his eyes. Eyes that are shouting back at me, telling me that I am lying to him, that I will not be all right. I shrug, a small self-depreciating grin tugging honestly, for once, across my lips.
I help to carry his bags down to the main hall. His entourage is waiting quietly, one walking forward to take his belongings from me. We walk outside, the group following behind. There is a coldness seeping into my chest as each footstep brings us closer to his leaving. We reach the horses, his followers talking softly among themselves. His horse is restless, anxious to move. It shuffles its feet and tugs at the reins gripped in his hand.
"'Ro…" he says, regret clear in his voice. I held up one hand to forestall any further words, knowing that they would be useless. Nothing he can say will make his leaving any easier.
"You have to go, it is your duty," I say, turning to look out over the long path stretched before us, before turning back to look up at him. "As it is my duty to stay." I had seen the want in his eyes, the longing for me to come with him.
He looked down at me, those blue eyes so filled with concern that I almost lost the tight rein on my emotions. I had to hold on to them, lest he see how devastated that I was by his leaving. His solid presence had been a comfort and a balm to my battered soul. No one could ever take the place of my lost sibling, but he had filled a small portion of the void in my core. With his departure, I was unsure of how my life would continue.
"'Ro, I could talk to my father…maybe I can come back," he says, concern clearly echoing in his words.
"No," I say, lifting my eyes to meet his one last time, "you have to live on with your life now. I will be all right in time."
He stares at me for a long period, before he nods and turns to his horse. Gripping the mane, he swings up astride his mount and looks down at me. I take several steps forward until I am even with his leg and he leans over to place a hand on my shoulder.
"If you ever need me, please don't hesitate to send for me," he says softly, his fingers tightening meaningfully on my shoulder. I reach up, placing my hand over his and nod once, my throat closing around the words that I wanted to shout out. I squeeze his hand once more before dropping mine and stepping back. He smiles sadly once more as he turns his horse and leads his troop down the long path from my home.
I watch as he rides away. My brother, the man who had stood by me in my grief and sorrow, who buoyed up my soul in its deepest depths of despair. I loved him, as a man loved a dear and close friend, as someone who would lay down their life for mine and who I would do the same for.
As his form travels farther and farther away from mine, I could feel the ice forming around my heart again closing in around the despair that threatens to overwhelm me. I watch as he turns one last time, his arm rises to bid me farewell. I am vaguely aware that I repeat his actions, only after he has turned and disappears over the horizon and my arm fall leadenly back to my side. How long I stand there staring into the distance is anyone's guess. It isn't until the sun has set and the sounds of night begin to play that I finally turn and make my way back to the manor.
Back to the cold of my lonely rooms, back to the quiet that had once been filled with love and laughter. To the solitary tears of my loneliness.