A/N Ok so at the request of one of my Tumblr friends I've written a short bit with Reese and Carter that takes place some time after Flesh and Blood. Taylor is safe at home, but Carter is still worried and shaken up by the whole thing. She and Reese share some quiet time together. I don't own any of these characters or the show. Hope you enjoy this one shot.
It was just past midnight and Carter was still up. She had been alternating between standing at the front window looking out, pacing the floor of the small living room and sitting in front of the TV. She got up abruptly from the sofa and for the third time since he'd gone to bed that night, she opened her son's bedroom door to check to see if he was still asleep, to see if he was still safely in bed. It was silly she thought, but for her own peace of mind she had to keep doing it.
Everything felt surreal to her and she was having trouble wrapping her mind around it all. Today had started easily enough, but midway through she had three of the most notorious crime bosses in New York in protective custody and her son had been kidnapped. She told herself to stay focused and not panic. John had promised to bring Taylor back and he'd been a man of his word. When she was finally able to hold him in her arms, she felt her heart start to beat regularly again.
She brought him home, he was safe and she hoped to keep him that way.
Over dinner, he told her what happened. They took him from school telling him she'd been in an accident and that she was hurt. They told him she was at a hospital and she was calling for him. He told her how Elias sat and talked with him and told him that he used to be a teacher at a school close to his. He talked about it almost as if it had been some adventure of sorts while she silently held in her fears and tried not to cry. He gushed over John's impressive rescue and she was bombarded about questions on just who he was. It seemed he'd become Taylor's hero.
She shut the door and leaned against the wall, a dry sob escaping her throat and went back into the living room where the TV basically watched her. The voices on the programme all bled into one, but it made her feel like she wasn't all alone in the house.
She turned her head in the direction of the front door as she heard a knock. She grabbed her firearm from the coffee table in front of her and walked slowly towards it. Were they after her and her son again?
She looked through the peep hole carefully and stepped back from the door at the sight of John on her front steps. She took a deep breath and opened the door for him. His eyes went straight to her weapon and he offered an understanding look on his face.
"Can I come in?"
It was late and normally she'd question his reasons for coming to her home at this hour, but truthfully his presence right now was a welcome one.
"Sure." She answered quietly and he walked into the living room and sat down. She locked the door after he came inside.
"Where's Taylor?"
"Asleep." She answered. She put her gun back down on the table and joined him on the couch. They both stared at it.
"How's he holding up?"
"Better than me, right now." She said cutting the TV off.
"Can't sleep?"
"Hmph." She said. "How'd you guess?"
"I figured you might need some company." He said turning towards her on the couch and reached out a gloved hand, resting it on hers. "And maybe something strong to settle your nerves." He took a brown bag out of his pocket. Inside it was a bottle of Crown Royal Black. He extended it towards her and she took it. Normally she only indulged in red wine or a beer when she wanted to wind down at home, but he was right. She needed something much stronger to help her relax tonight.
She got up from the couch and went into the kitchen, grabbing two tumblers out of the cupboard and some ice cubes out of the freezer. She took them back into the living room, sat down and poured.
She raised the tumbler to her mouth almost downing it all and enjoyed the smooth taste as it went down. John did the same, not speaking.
His hand rested on hers again and she felt something welling up in her chest. She hadn't given voice to her fears before; she hadn't shown just how scared she was. She couldn't. Now, the simple touch of his hand on hers seemed to pull so much out of her. It provided the luxury of male support she normally didn't have.
She let out another dry sob and his hand moved from her hand to her shoulder. Her head hung in front of her and she put the glass down on the table.
"It's okay, Joss." She heard him whisper. "It's okay."
"I could've lost him, John. I could've lost my baby."
"You know I would never let that happen. You know I'd never let anyone hurt him."
"It's my fault."
"What?"
"It was my fault. I'm out there….every day…going after these people who have no hesitation about hurting my family if they have to. They'd never have taken him if it weren't for me."
"You're a good cop, Joss. You're a good person. You're just doing the best you can to make the city a better place. You can't blame yourself for what criminals like Elias might do."
His hand moved from her shoulder to just at the base of her neck and his fingers kneaded the skin there gently. She found his touch comforting, his words soothing.
"Taylor's alright. He's safe now. No harm will come to either of you as long as I'm alive. I promise you that." He pulled her to his side and she rested there comfortably, sliding an arm low around his stomach. She rested her head on his chest and felt his arms tighten around her shoulders.
She pretended that it was perfectly natural to be in his arms. She pretended that she didn't barely know him and he wasn't a vigilante working on the opposite side of the law. She pretended that they never had a falling out over Szymanksi's shooting a few short weeks ago and he gave up the location of her safe house. She pretended that she swore never to speak with or work with him again. She pretended that nothing else mattered except for this moment right now.
She'd never been this vulnerable around him.
They'd both kept emotions at bay and simply trusted each other and their capabilities while they worked together. But right now he had opened himself up to her in a new way and she appreciated him so much for simply being here. She supposed his gesture of being her rock right now would have its consequences tomorrow, but for now she didn't want to think about it.
His chin rested comfortably on the top of her head and with her face against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat. The rhythm of it was hypnotic almost; its steady pace could lull her to sleep.
"You know I get the feeling Taylor would have helped me out when I went to get him. He was shadow boxing when I got into it with Elias' lieutenant."
The smile in his voice made her laugh.
"I'm serious. He didn't seem afraid at all. He's fearless, just like his mother."
"He's always been that way. Thinking nothing could ever hurt him. He had so many cuts and bruises growing up; I swear I thought he wouldn't make it past age 10."
"You've done a great job raising him. And he knows how much you love him. He loves you just as much."
His words passed over her like a balm, and the softness of his tone was what did her in. She started to cry silently, and as the quiet sobs wracked her body, he simply held her and ran his hands soothingly up and down her back.
He allowed her to feel vulnerable. He allowed her to feel weak while he was strong. He allowed her to feel hurt so he could soothe her. She felt supported in his embrace. It was what she needed right now. He was what she needed right now.
The night passed with them on the couch and he listened as she told him story after story about Taylor growing up, his quirky habits and her dreams for him when he got older. She felt herself grow lighter and she felt her fears start to disappear as time went by. Her alarm clock going off alerted her to the fact that it was early morning and she finally realized how long he'd stayed.
They both got up awkwardly from the couch and he stretched out his limbs before they both walked to the front door.
Thank you didn't seem enough to convey how she was feeling right now, but she said it to him again anyway.
She felt tears sting her eyes, but this time they weren't tears of fear, but of gratitude and something else. She opened the door to let him out and the cold air hit both of them as his foot landed on her front steps. He pulled the collar up on his coat and turned back to her before leaving.
His hands touched her shoulders for a minute as he looked down on her, then travelled down her arms before he held her hands in his own.
"John…I …." She was at a loss for words, but his eyes said he knew everything she wanted to and couldn't say. He touched her cheek softly and bowed his head to press his lips briefly to the side of her mouth.
"Get some sleep, Joss."
He released her hand and walked down the steps and she watched him as he disappeared down the street.