Use Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

'Thoughts'
'Flashbacks'
'Dreams'
"Talking"
POV
A/N: Author's Note

Chapter 1

Gaara's POV

I stared into his beautiful blue eyes; they were filled with an emotion I could not decipher.

"I love you..." I whispered.

He closed his eyes and immediately I knew he was shutting me out again. When he opened his eyes they were cold and emotionless.

"I know." His voice was so... uncaring.

He picked up his pace making the sex more painful than it usually was. Despite how many times he had had sex with me, it was like he was taking me for the first time. When he used me like this it tore my heart apart... It hurt me every time he did this... but despite how much it hurt for him to use me like this... I never stopped it... I always let him use me...because it made him happy... Perhaps happy was not the right word... it made him... content... or perhaps satisfied... and if he was happy or content or even satisfied... it made me happy that he was like that... didn't it...? That was how one felt when they were in love with someone else... even if the person did not love them back.

When I told Naruto I loved him I meant it... but I don't know why I bothered to tell him... after all there was no way Naruto would ever return me feelings... he was dating Neji and the only reason he even decided to use me for sex was because Neji didn't want to have sex yet... so he had come to me and asked me for sex... If it had been anyone else I would have slammed the door in their face... but I couldn't do that to Naruto... because even before he had asked me for sex I knew I loved him... I had loved him for a long time... and I knew he didn't return my feelings.

I could feel the blood running down my legs; I bled every time Naruto had sex with me because Naruto never bothered to prepare me he always just slammed into me without a second thought. Naruto didn't like it when I bled he always said it made too big of a mess, but I didn't see why it mattered that it made a mess… we never did it where he lived… we always did it where I lived.

I had never enjoyed having sex with Naruto, because I knew that he was only using me to get his sexual release… he didn't have feeling for me… most of the time I had to wonder if we were even still friends. We used to be friends… Naruto and I used to be really good friends, we used to do things that normal friends did. Like hanging out, playing video games, comforting the other when something bad happened… but ever since Naruto started dating Neji… he had changed. He was always with his other friends and usually Neji when I ran into him outside of my apartment, but even then he was always cold and distant and pushed me away… like he didn't want me around him. Whenever Naruto came to get sex he never explained his previous behavior he just told me to undress and lay on the couch or bed… I really don't think we are friends anymore… I think he is only still being my 'friend' because I give him sex with out question, because he can easily manipulate me… because he has my heart in the palm of his hand and he is slowly torturing me plunging knives into my heart every time he pushes me away and then later comes to me for sex… not bothering to try and make me feel better before or after. Naruto was only keeping me around to use me for sexual release… that was probably the only reason we were still 'friends'.

Tears blurred my vision, as all of these thoughts crossed my mind. I tried to keep myself from shaking… I could cry after Naruto left Like I usually did… but I couldn't cry now… crying now would only make Naruto mad… If a god did exist it must really hate me… because my entire life revolved around a person that couldn't care less about me… because everything most people liked was always used to make my life miserable.

I closed my eyes trying to take my mind off of Naruto, but it was hard especially when said person was still slamming into you.

I was just a tool… eventually Naruto would get tired of me and just throw me away… never talk to me again… never come to my house for… soon I would just be a relic of the past that Naruto would want to erase…

Naruto groaned as he came, the sticky white substance joining the blood running down my legs.

Tears started running down my face… what if Naruto decided he didn't want to do this anymore and I never saw him again? …I don't think I would be able to handle that…

My entire body shook as a couple of choked sobs worked their way out of my mouth.

I don't think I would be able to recover if Naruto left today and never came back, but I don't know how much more I could take of this… it ripped me apart every time we did it.

I kept my mouth tightly closed trying to stop sobbing. I felt Naruto pull out of me and with a lot of effort I forced my eyes open, so I could see what he was doing. Naruto was getting dressed… I was crying and Naruto was just going to leave… it felt like something had torn my heart in two… and this time I could not keep the loud sobs from escaping my mouth. It was hard to breathe… I could barely get any air in my lungs and that was quickly used up because I couldn't stop myself from sobbing.

I heard the door open and close… Naruto really had just left me.

Naruto had left me when I needed a friend… maybe that meant we really weren't friends anymore… maybe that meant I was right and the only reason Naruto is keeping me as a 'friend' is so he can get sexual release when he needs it.

I had to wonder though… when had our roles be reversed… when did I become the one who openly showed my feelings and when did Naruto become the one who always shut his away? I didn't have an answer to that question… and I had to wonder if things would ever be able to go back to the way they were… or at least… if there was anyway to stop this… because this was slowly killing me… I just wanted Naruto to be my friend again… I could deal with him only being my friend… but this… this was slowly killing me… and I needed it to stop… but I don't think there was a way to stop it without loosing Naruto as a friend. I couldn't loose Naruto as a friend, but this couldn't keep going on… because I know I can't take much more of this.

A/N: I hope this turned out ok and I hope all of you who took the time to read it liked it and if you would I would like it if you reviewed and told me how much you liked it… because I am not updating unless I get at least one review... and I don't know if I will ever change the POV.. I think it will almost always be in Gaara's POV... but I don't know... I might put in one with Naruto's POV... but it depends... like I said this is probably mostly going to be in Gaara's POV... Anyway... don't forget to tell me what you thought of it in your reviews... and if you have something bad to say don't say anything unless you also have something good to say... because I don't want any reviews just about the things wrong with this story.