Just Following Orders
Rating: T
Spoilers: None
A/N: Special thanks to mrspollifax for her contributions to this fic
I roll over and reach for her. Nothing, nadda, zilch. Damn.
"This is your wake up call, Jack." Daniel's voice disturbs me. Not only do I not have Carter in bed with me, I apparently have Daniel in my bedroom instead. That's justwrong on so many levels.
Daniel is shaking my shoulder. "You have to get up." I blink my eyes open and observe him standing next to the bed, giving me a look.
I grouch, "What?"
"If you're even five minutes late, I'm the one that Sam will Zat."
"And that is supposed to be incentive for me to get out of bed?"
Daniel squints for a moment, and then shakes his head as if to push aside whatever thoughts he had considered voicing.
"Up, now," Daniel orders me. That's pretty funny actually when I think of it, him ordering me around.
"Yes, Sir," I drawl. Then I get out of bed and head toward the shower.
35 minutes later, I'm showered, shaved, and wearing my mess dress. I tug at the collar while I enter the main room of the suite. Daniel is reading the paper and drinking coffee.
He doesn't even look up when he says, "Breakfast is on the tray..." Room service obviously came while I was getting ready.
We're in a suite in some fancy old hotel in St. Paul that overlooks the river. The hotel is less than an hour from my cabin, where Sam is probably awake now and eating her own breakfast. Daniel here, and her there, is not how I'd like to have it. But according to Carter I don't understand the romance of these things, apparently. Why she thinks sticking me with Daniel for a night will fix that, well, that is also beyond me.
This whole 'sleep in separate places the night before' was her idea and I hate it. But I tend to do things I hate when she asks sweetly and gives me one of her solar flare smiles.
The uniform I'm currently wearing is another example. Pretty much everything about the day ahead of me will fall into that same category. Well, except one part, the part tonight when I finally get her alone. That part is mucho mutually agreeable.
I pour myself coffee and watch Daniel read the paper. He's wearing the rest of the tux, but not the tie yet. I'm sure Sam gave him some sort of typed out schedule, down the minute, where the two of us are supposed to be. If he's reading the paper sans tie, then there must be a little time before we go.
"I'm gonna make a quick call," I say. Daniel nods absently and turns the page of the newspaper.
I go back into my room, the one that will be shared with Sam tonight, and my mood is lifted at the thought of the day's end. The room is nice, filled with old-looking furniture that could be antiques, hell if I know. But I do know she'll like it here. Not over-the-top fancy, but nice, warm, comfortable. Can I just fast-forward to that part pah-lease? I wonder briefly if the SGC or Area 51 has some alien technology hidden away that would come in handy right about now?
I sit down on the bed and dial my own phone number. Yeah, just plain weird.
We stayed in separate beds for far too many years, I tried to argue, but Carter would have none of it. She just crossed her arms in front and gave me a look that rivaled Teal'c staring down a prisoner during an interrogation. When I sighed and agreed, like I had with everything else planned about this day, that special smile came out of hiding and Carter launched herself on me. God, I have no backbone anymore when it comes to that woman. It's pathetic. And maybe, I sort of also love every minute of it.
On the second ring someone picks up, not Carter. I try feebly, "Hi?"
"Jack!" Cassie just about shouts my ear off. "Don't you dare be calling to tell me you've skipped town. You better be on your way soon."
"About that… Ah, I'm in Canada right now." It's too easy to tease her sometimes. I can almost hear the eye rolling on the other end. "Listen, Cassie, can you put Carter on the phone? Or is she…"
What do I say… unavailable? Busy being polished and shined to within an inch of her life? Cassie doesn't wait for my decision on verbage.
"Jack, when you say the vows are you gonna call her 'Carter?'"
"Probably," I snark back, just to give Cassie something to think about.
Cassie starts like she might say something in response, but apparently decides against it. "Here," she says simply, while handing over the phone.
Carter's voice comes on the line. "Hi," she sounds warm and amused, and I wonder if it's with me or with someone else there. "Did you survive?" she asks.
"Barely."
The amusement goes up a notch. "One night, Jack, it's not that big of a deal."
"But my toes get cold without you."
She ignores my lame joke. "Are you almost ready?"
"We'll be on our way soon." I glance through the doorway to see if Daniel is still reading the paper. I realize I haven't asked about her. "Did you have fun with the girls last night?"
"Pedicures and margaritas."
"Yeah, that sounds… super." I try, I really do. She makes a sound, not quite a giggle.
"Jack," she says in that tone that usually means something really fun and really naked is about to happen.
"Yeah?"
"Get your gorgeous butt over here and marry me already."
I smile despite myself. "Yes, Ma'am."
In Daniel's sedan, I sit in the passenger seat and I don't realize I'm fidgeting until Daniel looks at me pointedly.
"Nervous?" he asks.
"Nah," I reply, and it's the truth.
I'm not nervous at all. I remember the first time I did this I was scared to death, and my best man had to take me into a bar on the way to the church to build up my liquid confidence.
This time, it's so very different. I don't want any alcohol to cloud my memory of the moment she says those words to me. Maybe some drinks later, but none right now. I may find a lot of this pomp and circumstance annoying but the truth is I want this more than anything I've ever wanted.
Even more so, I want Sam to have this day be exactly the way she envisions. I don't care if the flowers are lilies or tulips, but I care that she gets to have whichever one will make her happy. And I'm pretty sure she ended up going with lilies. Or maybe it was roses? Hell if I know.
Also, this time is different because of the people who will surround us, not as many family, but friends that have become chosen family. A good example is my best man, who would never take me into a bar and get me liquored up before presenting me to Sam. No, Daniel knows better than to do that, even if I begged him.
"Daniel, I don't know if I ever said… thanks." I speak while staring out the window at the road. "For doing this."
"You did, and you're welcome."
"This whole thing is for Sam mostly. But you know…" I trail off not even knowing where to begin. I cover by scratching at my neck, near where the starched collar is already driving me nuts.
"I know," he says, not needing to hear the rest.
The bulk of the drive is in silence, except for when I point out a few local landmarks (e.g., liquor store, shooting range, Starbucks) and when Daniel announces that he's stopping for another cup of coffee.
When we arrive, lots of people are milling around my lawn, many of them in uniform but we do have some invited guests not in the military. I notice a tall, blonde guy in the crowd wearing a brown suit and I'm positive it's Sam's brother. I was glad when she said Mark was coming. Nice that one of us at least has a living relative to attend. He was also planning to bring the two kids, the wife apparently had to stay behind because of work.
As I get out of the car, I intend on heading over to Mark to say something. Hopefully something that will come out polite and welcoming. Cassie crosses my path, grabs my arm, and yanks me inside the cabin.
"In here," she says. "We're taking pictures and you can't see Sam before the ceremony. It's bad luck."
"Bad luck you say? Well, we wouldn't want that." She can tell I'm mocking her and gives me a look. One that reminds me better than anything else that Janet raised the girl. I put my hands up in surrender. "Staying right here, I promise."
I'm bored and then I get really bored. Finally, Teal'c comes. Informing me, "Your union is about to commence, O'Neill."
Chairs have been set up in rows on the lawn with an aisle down the middle. They all face the lake and the minister is standing at the front. I take my place, Daniel and Teal'c at my side. I also take a moment to notice that we boys clean up pretty good. Imagine that.
Vala is the first down the aisle and she's obviously relishing every second of the attention being all on her. It makes me almost chuckle. The woman is crazy but I have to admit she's been a good friend to Sam. Plus, her shower gift– lingerie that Sam never in a million years would've picked out herself– instantly made Vala one of my all-time favorite people.
Next is Cassie, who gives me the biggest smile ever recorded in history as she walks down the aisle. I was nervous about Cassie's reaction when the relationship between Sam and I changed. I wasn't sure how the girl who'd already been forced to deal with far too many big changes in her young life would react. All I know is that she and Sam have had some long talks and things are good. Cassie's been nothing but supportive and happy.
The moment Sam appears, the entire day, the starched collar, everything is worth it. How can the most beautiful woman in the world look even more beautiful? She's stunning.
General Hammond was surprised and pleased when Carter asked him to give her away. When the minister now asks, "Who gives this woman to this man?"
The General proudly responds, "I do." Then he winks at Sam and puts her hand in mine, before taking his seat.
The ceremony goes by quick. I look into Sam's eyes as she says the words. A wave of something surreal overtakes me. Her standing here, promising to have me and to hold me, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, all the days of her life… Why the heck she would want to do such a ridiculous thing? Whatever the hell the reason, I'm grateful for it.
With that thought, it really hits me. We're actually doing this, we're going to be married, promised to one another. No more hiding our feelings, no more pretending. It will be as open and honest as the bands on our fingers that every human on Earth and a whole universe of wacky aliens can see.
The emotions rise inside, everything I have ever felt for Sam seems to be right in front of me in blazing neon. I'm not gonna cry, I tell myself. Carter didn't. Of course she didn't, she would never allow herself to be the kind of woman that cries on her wedding day. Nope, she stayed poised, and damn it if I'm going to be the sappy one here. I swallow the lump in my throat.
Sam catches that movement and smiles. She knows.
In some frightening way, Sam can read exactly what I'm thinking. I know for sure that she's getting the transmission loud and clear and somehow that's enough. She knows I want to lose it, even though I won't. She knows how much I love her, so much more than the words I say could ever express.
"All the days of my life," I finally finish and her eyes flash with love, desire, and maybe even a little relief.
Hmm, that's interesting. She was worried that I wouldn't go through with this? Sam knows without a doubt that I would never stop looking if she were lost, I would willingly give my life for hers, and I love her unconditionally. Yet, she was worried that I would chicken out on some simple vows?
Maybe that's why she stuck Daniel on me last night and this morning to watch me like a hawk with glasses. It wasn't that she thought I'd be late, she thought I'd… wait a minute, what was the first thing out of Cassie's mouth on the phone? Oh, there's so gonna be a chat about this later.
But much later, because I've just been given the best orders I've ever received, "You may now kiss the bride."
Maybe it's a bit dramatic, or even cliché, but I dip her and kiss her thoroughly. I try tongue but she wouldn't let me, not in front of people. I get a little swat at the attempt, so I give up and allow us both to get some air.
I give Sam a look, one that promises 'later.' She grins and nods as they announce us as Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill and we turn to the crowd of our friends and family applauding, big smiles on their faces, only one or two with tears in their eyes.
We walk back down the aisle and I don't even get a second with her before everyone swarms us. There are handshakes, hugs, and kisses. Everyone wants to congratulate us, but especially Sam. Being the bride and all that, she's the star and gets most of the attention showered on her.
It keeps me from having any time with her. Just one moment, is that too much to ask? She is my wife now. I could be an ass and barge into the group surrounding her, pull her away with me, until we find some place quiet. But then Mark comes up and embraces her, and I don't have the heart to be selfish.
Instead, I head over to the table with the food and drinks and grab a beer from one of the coolers. The caterers came on schedule and everything is out for people to help themselves when they please. No formal banquet, thank God. Now, if I can only figure out how long she expects me to keep this collar buttoned up.
Teal'c, Mitchell, and Daniel are sitting at a table nearby and I join them. We watch all the women getting their pictures taken, mingling with guests, doing all the wedding reception stuff people do. Correction– wedding reception stuff women do.
"So," Daniel finally says, "fishing good this time of year here?" Does he really think getting in a lot of fishing is gonna be my priority this week?
"Yup," I say with a look at Daniel, and take a swig of my beer. His expression is far too innocent for me to believe.
After a long silence, Mitchell adds, "Bass?"
"Sometimes smallmouth," I reply. The comfortable atmosphere of beer-drinking, quiet, male tradition, descends over us once again.
Eventually, Vala heads toward us.
"Boys! There you all are." She interrupts our sanctuary, plops down, takes Mitchell's beer from him, helps herself to a large gulp, and then eyes us all carefully. "Who wants to dance with me first?"
Daniel starts in his briefing room lecture voice, "Traditionally, the first dance is reserved for the newlyweds..."
Vala turns and raises a brow at me. "Well, get out there Mr. Carter, and start that dancing already." I notice Daniel's smirk at Vala's remark. I choose not to react.
Dancing is never something I complain about. Well, I should clarify– slow dancing with Sam is never a complaint of mine. What's not to love? I get to hold her close, in public, and usually she puts her head on my shoulder and sighs contentedly.
I don't know why exactly Carter is like she is when we've got an audience. I guess it's got something to do with all the years we were so restrained and that old dog, new tricks adage. Or maybe it's just who she is, private and professional to a fault.
Either way, I'm OK with it. Mostly because when people aren't around she's quite the opposite. So the opposite. I feel my body's automatic reaction to the memories of Sam that surface, and remind myself that I only need to wait a little while longer. So there's that, and there's dancing.
After a couple of songs, several people want to cut in, including Teal'c, Dr. Lee, and Sam's little nephew. So I leave the princess-for-the-day to her royal subjects again.
Mark Carter comes over to me, along with a girl who appears about 10 years old by my guess. The girl has big blue eyes and short, curly blonde hair and I wonder briefly if this was how Sam looked at that age.
"Mark," he introduces himself while offering a handshake. "Glad to finally meet you, Jack. I've heard a lot about you."
"Only half of it is true."
He chuckles. "Yeah, same here… whatever you heard grouched about me by my old man over the years probably isn't accurate either. I just wanted to thank you for inviting me."
"Of course, you're Sam's brother."
"Yeah, but this is obviously a close, small thing and I would have understood."
"Nonsense," I respond. "Sam was excited when she heard you were coming. All of you." I look down at the girl holding her dad's hand.
"And who is this?" I ask skeptically, "Lisa Simpson?"
"No." The girl giggles.
"Bugs Bunny?"
"No," she says, a little more strongly this time. She knows when an adult is pulling her leg. She adds with sass, "Do I look like a rabbit to you?"
I smile. Oh, man, does she have Carter blood in her veins.
I shrug and say, "With those big ears of yours I just figured…"
"My name is Dana."
"Hi, Dana."
Mark interrupts at this point. "Pumpkin, this is your new Uncle Jack."
"Cool," Dana says with a smile. "Jasmine from my dance class got a new uncle and right after that she got a new cousin."
I cough. "Well, these things… vary." I shift my weight on my feet. Not that Sam and I haven't talked about it, but it's still very much up in the air.
Mark seems to sense something. "Dana, leave the guy alone. He just got married today." He gives me a smile. "One big step at a time."
"Yeah."
Daniel saves me by coming over with fresh beers and a cheerful, "Hi, I'm Daniel, you must be Mark?"
I leave the conversation when it seems OK to do so, because I spot Sam and she's not quite alone, but close enough. She's talking with Cassie about something as I make my way over to them.
I take Sam in my arms and ask, "Everything good?"
"Perfect," she replies while grinning at me.
Cassie has a funny look on her face suddenly.
I ask, "What?"
"Nothin'" Cassie glances away, a bit misty. My immediate reaction is to think that she's going all gushy romantic, but then I realize that doesn't really seem like the Cassandra I know.
"Cass," I say, in that same tone I used when she was 12, and I was trying to get out of her the reason she gave Billy Conrad a black eye.
"I was just thinking that it was almost perfect," she says. "It would have been, if Mom were here."
Sam abandons me and wraps her arms around Cassie. "You're right, then it would have been absolutely perfect."
Cassie speaks with a faltering voice, "She would have been so proud of both of you."
I stand there and watch the two women who mean the most in the world to me comfort each other. I would amend it by saying both Janet and Sam's dad being here would have made it perfect, but I don't.
Jacob should have been here to walk his daughter down the aisle. He should have sat there the entire ceremony glowering at me, making me worry that at any moment he was going to put out a Zat, and take aim at me. Then it would have been perfect.
But there's no good reason to bring this up. I know Sam's already thinking of her dad today, and me saying something will only add to sadness, not the happiness that she deserves to have. So I grab Cassie when Sam finally lets up and give her my own hug.
"Your mom is here in spirit, Kid."
"I know," says Cassie, as she wipes a few stray tears and then gives me a smile that could melt any grumpy, old, General's heart. She admonishes, "Tears at weddings are good luck and God knows you guys won't do it. Someone had to."
Cassandra is growing up to be a wise, strong, and capable young woman. I'm proud, and I can never hide that fact. I know every person on Earth who has had a hand in Cassie being the person she's become, especially Janet. A village, as they say, doesn't even begin to explain it.
There's something about the group effort that makes me even more proud than if Cassie happened to be my own. We did this. We worked together and not only saved the world time and again, but we made this terrific kid grow into this incredible, full-of-potential person.
"Cassie…" I start to say something, not sure what exactly, but it was likely going be something way too sentimental for my own good. She senses this, and probably not wanting to shed more tears today, Cassie cuts me off.
"I'm gonna go find Teal'c– um, I mean, Murray," she says. "He promised me a dance. You two should get out of here while you have an opening for a fast getaway."
Sam looks unsure. "Maybe just a while longer?"
"Go," Cassie insists, being the very wise girl that she is. She gives Sam one last hug, saying, "I love you both."
Then Cassie turns and smirks at me, "Have fun."
Oh yeah, definitely Janet's influence in there somewhere.
I take Sam's hand. We give a final, universal goodbye to the crowd, and make our way into the evening.
It's early and the sun only just set about an hour ago. Our guests will be drinking, talking, and dancing under the stars for a few more hours. Which is why we planned to take a room at the inn in the city. This way we have some quiet time alone without distraction.
Tomorrow we're going back to the cabin once everyone has cleared out and we plan to spend a week there, just the two of us. That's never happened. Every time we've come up it's been with Cassie, or friends, or teammates in tow. An entire week alone with Sam, the thought makes my whole body come alive with anticipation.
"So…" I say casually as we enter the suite. Someone has come and cleaned, turned down the bed, and left a few low lights on for us. There's also a bottle of champagne chilling.
"So," she says with a smile, and steps into my arms. "Wasn't too painful was it?"
"No." Something in the back of my mind comes to the surface. "You were worried I wouldn't do it, weren't you?"
"Now how did you…?" She shakes her head. "I know you abhor having to be dressed up and go through an entire day of ceremony."
I nuzzle and place soft kisses along her neck as I say, "I'll do anything to make you happy. Don't you know that by now?"
"Still…" she trails off.
"Still, nothing. I wanted to marry you. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want it."
"Right… but in the same sentence that you ask me, you also mentioned Vegas."
"I was anxious, so sue me." I lift my head to look her in the eyes, I want her to know this part is serious. "It was just one idea. This was good too."
"Was it?" Sam questions one last time.
"Yeah, and I'm willing to bet that it will get even better very soon."
She smiles. "I'm going to go freshen up."
While Sam's in the bathroom, I turn down the lights further and finally get out of the horrible collar. When she reappears all I can think is, 'Thank you, Vala.'
"Hi," Sam says shyly. I know she's self conscious, just a little. Putting on combat boots for me she's never had a problem with. But she's not the type to feel completely comfortable putting on something sexy for her man.
"You look beautiful," I reassure her. "And sinful." She smiles and joins me in bed.
As we start to kiss and touch, Sam asks, "And this really is… always?" as if she's unsure that this is all a dream, not real.
Does she have any idea what she does to me when she's breathless like that? When the ever strong, capable, confident Sam Carter allows me to see her vulnerable side?
"Always," I confirm, "I'd say it's a pretty good reward for all those times we saved the world."
"Which part is the reward? The 'and they lived happily ever after' part?"
"That's the one."
"But you hate clichés," she reminds.
"This one, I'll make an exception for."