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Falling out of love with her

It started slow,

I didn't see.

I was twisted up,

The fault lies with me.

He didn't realize it was happening when it started. He loved her so much he didn't even think twice about tossing that boy out the window for her. Why should it bother him, the only people who mattered in his life were Lannisters. He never gave it a second thought when he stood beside her.

Then she left him for the night, and he laid down to sleep with a smile on his lips. He closed his eyes, and there was that fool not laying broken on the ground. Like the rag doll his mother had given Cersie before she died. He got up, and he drank until that boy left his head, and he never gave it a second thought. Until even she berated him. He swore to commit atrocities for her, and he would he realized. He would be a monster for her.

Once eyes are open

They can not unsee

Waters once sweet

Turn to a salted sea

He would have killed Ned for taking his brother, but not in dishonor. Then she tore the king's last words to sunder without a second thought. She broke her vows left and right, and it made something in him twist in disgust. He knew she could be like this, but now for some reason it seemed like something wrong even in her.

That damn boy had put a sour taste in his mind, and he couldn't shake it. So he ignored it, like he did the whispers of King Slayer behind his back.

Rot sets in

It will not stop

Peels back the skin

And leaves not but loss

Month after month he prayed for his family, for Cersie to save him. He sat in his filth, and felt their barbs, and he believed in her. After six months he stopped praying. Seven he stopped hoping. He didn't stop believing until he killed his cousin, she must have sent him, he killed the man, and it didn't help. They drug him back, and when he saw his death in the mim and piss of his cell he stopped believing in her.

Broken limbs must mend.

Scabs must heal.

A broken heart still beats.

Yet this isn't real.

She took his barbs without even a hint of anger, only when he spoke out against the people she cares for did she bite. She was good. Truly good. He didn't think he'd ever seen that before. That's why he saved her, twice. That's why he told her a secret he had never shared with Cersie, or anyone save his own brother. He broke completely when he lost his hand, and she was his milk of the poppy. He would keep his word to her.

Love a dying flower

It will still die.

Doubt the truth in your heart

And all will see the lie.

It's too late! She said that to him. Fuck her. Yes, exactly. He'd fuck her. He took her beside the corpse of his own son. She couldn't deny him! He loved her! No one but her, forever! He loved her, but he hated himself.

The darkest nights

Still being light

The strongest men

Must always fight.

He held his daughter in his arms when she died. He had never come so close to truly being a father as he had when she said she was proud to be his daughter. He brought a corpse back to his sister, and he felt nothing about that. He wept for his daughter, but the disappointment of his sister rolled off him like nothing.

When the Sparrows sent him away he raged. He was angry, but not like he had been when he was young. Not like he should have been. When his sister said to go he left her with hardly a fight. He went on leading his army mindlessly until Brienne of Tarth barged into his tent. For a moment he almost smiled arguing here at the ass end of the world with her. He made her keep the sword, all but swore his own to her.

Then he threatened to throw a baby over the ramparts of a keep to get his way. Some man of honor he was.

Sons all dead

Hearts grow cold

Tender and unfed

This lie is growing old

She killed them all. He'd promised as much over, and over, but she did it. She killed them all, and his last son killed himself because of her. His brother betrayed him, and now his sister stood before him a stranger. When had it happened? When did he stop loving her. No, that wasn't right, he still loved her. He would always love her. When did he stop being in love with her?

A cup

Most useful empty

An eye

Most keen without predisposition.

He stood beside her, and the heat, the blind need for her had dulled. He watched her now as she ruled over what little she had left. She had turned so many people against herself with selfish actions, and now he didn't know how to protect her. The man seated in the salt throne came to her, and offered her strength.

The idea of that sick, degenerate pirate touching his sister still twisted a knife in his gut. He bore it though, with more grace than he once would have, because it would save her life. The sea dog barked insults at him, and everything in him wanted to bite, but he bore it. What else was there? He had to protect her. It was all he had left of her.

Death is final

We struggle still

Against the end

And hope at will

She came to him, and pressed her lips to his, and he turned away. He didn't want her, but she persisted. No man could turn her away with his manhood in her mouth. He lay with her, and in the morning she let her servant see. Not long ago he would have rejoiced, but instead his first thought was what will she think? They, what will they think? She had made him hers again, but this time he didn't want that.

Unbreakable chains

will be tested

Broken

Oaths or hearts?

He took her enemies to their graves. Defended her to every person who spoke against her. he respected how she could pull them up from nothing, she truly was gifted at strategy. She had to be right, or what did it make him? He brought what mercy he could, even to those who didn't deserve it. He watched his men burn in dragon fire, and fought the hoard. God did they burn, and what did the dragon get for it. A pin prick. He tried to tell her, but she would rather die. How does one protect someone who would rather die?

Then she told him. They were having a baby! Then he threatened her. What was he supposed to think about that? He was so happy, but he had never trusted her less. That confusion was enough, but then they threw the dead man at his feet, and it tried to kill his sister. Everything changed in the moment she walked away from helping them, but he would still follow her into hell.

Brienne of all people, the most loyal woman he knew told him to fuck loyalty. How was he supposed to do that? He argued with her until she tossed him out for it. He would still argue with her when she opened the door again if Tyrion hadn't convinced her first. He'd never been so proud as when they swore their army to the north. For a moment, a flicker of the woman he had loved before. Organizing the expedition north made him feel like the man he wanted to be.

She broke his heart again when she told him of her lies. He barked, berated her, and she called it treason. For a moment her really thought he would be killed by the monster the mountain had become. He almost wanted it, his broken heart felt empty without the last bit of love for her inside it, but he made a promise, to the north, to Brienne. He would keep it. Even if he rode alone he would ride north. He would not break another oath.