It was too much. Everything was too much.
Overwhelmed was not sufficient enough a word to describe the crushing heaviness that lay upon the new Director's shoulders.
She had always turned to her family when forced to admit she needed support, yet Kara and even J'onn, had both been keeping her at arm's length.
Alex knew her adoptive father was struggling with his new mission; floundering, as she was, under the weight of expectations both new and familiar. J'onn seemed lost as he attempted to honor both his father as well as himself. This was something Alex understood better than most and yet he seemed hesitant to confide in her; to commiserate in the impossible task of honoring the man whom had both shaped and mentored you.
J'onn's reluctance only added to her misery.
Apparently, she was no longer a worthy substitute for his daughters, no longer deserving of the praise she was so starved for as she withered under Haley's unyielding gaze.
And Kara?
These days she felt like a virtual stranger, as if the deep connection they once shared had vanished overnight. It seemed like Kara could barely stand to be in the same room as her sister, fleeing from Alex even when her best friend lay near death.
James, too, had changed.
He was still warm and inviting, wrapping her tenderly in those massive arms each time he greeted her. But there were other times she would catch him watching her with an unreadable expression; like something was missing.
She'd suspected as much. Her instincts insisting that she was not herself, that something intrinsic to her identity had been wiped away.
J'onn had said she was "fine"; Brainy, Kara, Nia and even James all persisted in convincing her of the same.
They were lying to her, the lot of them.
She knew; had her suspicions confirmed every time they extolled their innocence.
Only one person seemed to understand how painful such a widespread deception could be. And that's how Alex found a small sliver of relief in the most unlikely of places.
Lena never told her she was "fine".
Instead she would say, "Trusting your instincts has gotten you this far, Director. Why doubt yourself now?"
And, oh, how Alex enjoyed the way her title rolled off the Luthor's tongue. Loved the way her accent slipped through when she was too excited to hide it. Relished the way those emerald orbs lit up when they settled upon her.
Despite all that was transpiring around her, Alex felt lighter after each encounter with Lena; unburdened in ways she hadn't felt since her domestic bubble with Maggie had painfully popped.
Lena, too, had expressed doubts over the honesty of their friends and family and thus an unforeseen alliance had been born.
An emotionally damaged, overprotective elder sibling and an unappreciated overlooked younger sibling united in their quest for perfection, to make a difference in the world.
Neither will call it love...not yet...
There's a striking figure still standing between them, with golden hair and the truest blue eyes, so much like National City's savior.
And, really, isn't that a connection they both should have made by now? Two literal geniuses, stumped by a ponytail and heavy-rimmed glasses?
Something unspoken keeps the discovery from being made.
Blind loyalty? An unselfish love that puts one person above all others? Deeply ingrained sibling duty? Whatever the reason, the mystery of National City's patron saint and her secret identity remains unsolved, and Alex and Lena continue to be steadily drawn into one another's orbit.
When Alex shows up at Lena's door, well past an acceptable hour, bruised and bloodied, the young brunette simply ushers her inside. She need not ask why the older woman had come to her; lately they've been all the other has. Without a word, she's cleaning Alex up, changing her into soft sweats and steering the woman to her bed. As the pair drift to sleep curled around each other, neither can deny how easily they've come together.
No they won't call it love...not yet...
But there's something to be said of the bridge they had built to one another with the broken pieces the betrayal of others had left behind.