"Damm, is this a thing on?"

The screen shows a man adjusting his video camera before he sits down on the log.

The man was wearing the grey beanie hat, a light combat vest fill with grenades [With yellow smiley face] and other accessories and modern green cameo military attire. He carrying with his Remington Model 870 and M136 AT4 on his back. His fair-skinned with a big and thick mustache and an unshaven beard. He appears to be a joker.

"Hi, Mom. This is your favorite whatever am I ... to you...I am coming live from the war and ... Er, hold on." The unnamed soldier introduced before he stands up and stops to ask someone on the outer background.

"Hey, what country am I in? Big boobies dark-elves." The unnamed soldier shouted out the off-screen camera.

"That the Kingdom of Garan, you dumb human. And don't call me that. I have a name: Queen Olga Discordia. Remember that name." Olga retorted from the outer background.

"Why not? You have a huge jug of milk." The unnamed soldier crudely comments to Olga's breast.

"Damm you. How dare you give an insult to my queen?" Another female elf replied in anger tone can be heard from the outer background.

"Ya, Whatever."

The unnamed soldier sits down on his log. "Well, I in Fucked up Land."

"FUCK YOU! DON'T CALLED MY LAND - FUCKED UPLAND!" Olga screamed fanatic at the unnamed soldier.

"Then why you come over here?"

"I refuse to be seen by this 'thing'."

"Oh ok. Your problem. Can both of you go away for a minute?" The unnamed soldiers shrugged his shoulder.

Olga and the unknown female elf decided to leave and don't disturb the unnamed soldier doing his filming.

"Well, anyway. I did something wrong like AWOL in my military while 'accidentally' invading the neutral land, er what that name, I forgot. Turn out that neutral land side with both the US and Russia. Go to hell with that neutral land, kidnap the president and go AWOL again. Cuz, why not." The unnamed soldier lists out his crime.

"But the catch is, we are going to steal the legendary mercenaries, Legionnaire Mercenaries' stack of beautiful gold bars. Ohh the wonderful. Just imagine that I want to ride the Truckasaurus Rex filled in it." The unnamed soldier happily replied.

"However, things do not go to plan. Er, how to say? We found the loot but Legionnaire Mercenaries found their hideout. We are about to kick their ass when the bright thing teleports to this shitty land filled with ... fairytales shit stuff. Damm, the sky is so red that Sweetwater thought Russia did it. Hell no. We went to the lookalike tower of Mordor and us unintended 'rescue' the annoying dark elf queen and her servant." The unnamed soldier frown.

"Well, I got to go. Before I end this film, I want to show you something." The unnamed soldier stands up and took the video camera.

A minute later, the unnamed soldier pointed toward the tower. A forty feet tower filled with jagged stones and pointy triangle metallic shaped. On the top has the red stone looking.

"Well, you see this thing. HEY, CHLOE AND OLGA!" The unnamed soldier pointed toward the tower and shout to them to seek attention to Chloe and Olga.

"What is it, you trash human?" Olga annoyed.

"I want to show you something." The unnamed soldier took out the detonating device and pressed it.

BOOOM!

There is a multi-explosion occur in the tower. The tower started to crumble and within a few minutes, the tower was turned to dust and rumble. [Imagine both Chloe and Olga wider their eyes and jaw dropped to see their tower destroyed.]

"WHY, YOU STUPID HUMAN. WHY YOU DESTROYED MY BLACK CITADEL? IT TOOK ME MORE THAN HUNDRED OF YEARS TO BUILD." Olga screamed fanatic at the unnamed soldier as stared in horror to see her beloved Black Citadel been crumbled.

"THAT IT. I AM GOING TO KILL THIS HUMAN." Chloe starts rage killing that soldier.

"Uh-Oh! I got to go, Mum. Bye Bye." The unnamed soldier sped up his speeches before switching off his video camera.

Inspired by Battlefield: Bad Company - Character Blog 1: Private Haggard.