Everything Hook Shouldn't Be Thinking About, an once upon a time fanfic

Hey guys! I don't know what's up, but these songfics just keep popping up in my head! I heard this song for the first time since I started watching OUAT, and I immediately thought of Killian and Emma. I just wanna give a shout out to LiveInLoveAndLaughter for looking over this story for me! Your help means a lot. I suggest that everyone checks out her OUAT/Castle crossover fic The Words. It's seriously good.

Disclaimer: Do I own anything? Nope, I'm a broke college student that still lives at home, of course I don't own anything.

Male
Female
Both

My motorcycle needs an oil change
Fence needs mending, house needs paint
I got a million things that need to be done but
Baby I can only focus on one

Killian Jones was trying very, very hard to distract himself. His new wife, Emma Swan, was bent over in her mother's kitchen, helping said mother with the preparations for Regina's birthday dinner. She was dressed very demurely, in what he'd been told was a classic red and white polka dot swing dress. Regina had requested that they all dress nicely for dinner, so she'd dug around in the back of the closet and chosen this.

Frankly, he couldn't care what the name of the dress was, or why she was wearing it, just the that she was. He admired the way the red and white spotted fabric hung tightly to her curves in the bodice, then flared and poofed slightly in the skirt, making her legs look fantastic.

Bloody hell, Jones, now is NOT the time, he thought to himself. Not around her parents, and definitely not around her SON! Think about something else, anything!

He tried to direct his thoughts to more mundane tasks. Taking his motorcycle to the auto shop (he'd decided that he liked driving the bike a hell of a lot better than Emma's Bug. It also didn't hurt that Emma got that look in her eye every time she saw him on it), fixing up the house from the most recent villain, going to the grocery store. Nothing was working, he could only focus on Emma.

The way you're looking back at me right now
I'm thinking about everything I shouldn't be thinking about
You're playing with my mind, baby ain't no doubt
I'm thinking about everything I shouldn't be thinking about
You're everything I shouldn't be thinking about

Emma lifted her gaze from the salad she was putting together, and glanced over her shoulder at Killian. She shot him a smile, and he stifled a groan. Damn woman, he thought, trying to control himself. He breathed a silent sigh of relief as she focused her attention back on the food she was preparing.

His mind started to drift again, towards thoughts of what he would do to her when they got home, and he had to stifle another groan. I REALLY should not be thinking about this, he thought.

Baby you've always had a one track mind
So what you're saying ain't no surprise
What may come as a shock to you
Is that I'm having all those little thoughts too yea

Emma smirked to herself as she turned back to the vegetables she was cutting up for the salad. She knew what her pirate was thinking about. He'd always had a one track mind, ever since she'd met him and he pretended to be a blacksmith. And all the innuendo showed just what his mind was focused on, and it hadn't gotten much better since they'd gotten married.

His dirty mind must have been rubbing off on her, because they were constantly stealing each other away for a moment alone, almost everywhere. Their house, the sheriff's station, his ship, even one time in the Bug (now that had been fun). And now was no exception, as she thought about all the things they could do to each other when they arrived home.

She glanced over her shoulder again as she threw the carrots into the salad bowl, and saw that her pirates eyes were still on her. She gave him a wink, letting him know that she knew exactly what he was thinking about, and his eyes darkened. She giggled, which was something she never did (he just brought it out in her), and moved on to start frosting the cupcakes that her Mary Margaret asked that she do.

As she moved on to the cupcakes, she donned an apron over her front. Completing the 50s housewife look, she thought to herself.

Her mind didn't stay on thoughts of her attire for long though, as she continued to feel Killian's eyes on her. She knew that the excitement and desire that his gaze stirred in her belly wasn't appropriate right now, but to be honest, she didn't care. She allowed her mind to wander was she thought about what her pirate could do to her without any clothes on.

Baby since you and me are on the same page
Let's do something 'bout it, what do you say, ay?

"I don't understand why you insist on teasing us both, love," he whispered in her ear as he placed his hands around her hips (he'd returned from the Underworld with both hands, though they still kept the hook around, just in case). "Why don't you and I go sneak up stairs and-"

"Get caught, 'cause this is an open loft, and people could see and or hear what we get up to?" Emma interrupted him, shaking her head. She turned her around enough so that she could look him in the eye. "If you can wait until we get home, however," she leaned forward so that she could whisper in his ear, "I'll make it worth your while."

He groaned, not bothering to stifle it, and nodded, glad that they were on the same page.

The way you're looking back at me right now
I'm thinking about everything I shouldn't be thinking about
You're playing with my mind, baby ain't no doubt
I'm thinking about everything I shouldn't be thinking about

They continued to tease each other throughout dinner and dessert, stealing loaded glances when people were around, and kisses whenever they managed to be alone with one another. They did try to tone it down though, being well aware that her parents were there, along with Henry, Roland, and Robin and Zelena's daughter (who had arrived with the former thief himself and Regina).

Still, with as much as they tried to keep themselves as check, no one was surprised when Emma and Killian were the first ones to leave.

"Newlyweds," Regina said, sipping on her wine. "You'd think she's trying to get pregnant, the way they can't keep their hands to themselves."

When they arrived back at the house, Emma and Killian nearly broke their own door down in a rush to get into the house. As soon as they were inside, Killian pinned her up against the wall, kissing her senseless.

"You know, Swan, you could have gotten us into a lot of trouble tonight," he murmured as he pressed kisses to her jaw.

"Hmm?" She hummed.

"With all the teasing, and mind games you played tonight, you caused me to have some very indecent thoughts; thoughts that should not to be had around my mother-in-law and stepson." He pulled away from her enough so that he could see her face, raising his hand to stroke her check. "And this dress didn't help matters." He tugged lightly on the skirt, not wanting to damage it (he did want to see her wear it again, after all).

"And what are you gonna do about it?" She whispered against his lips, leaning in for another kiss.

He kissed her back, then broke it, grinning at her in a way that set her blood on fire. "I'm going to show you everything I should not have been thinking about," he said. Then he dragged her up the stairs toward their bedroom, and proceeded to do just that.