This is my first Once Upon a Time fanfic. It's my take on how Emma felt when Henry was born. Hope you all enjoy!
~AlphaGirl13
She gripped the sides of the hospital bed as the doctor urged her on. She took deep, frantic breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. Another pain started and Emma began to whimper, instinctively curling up towards her belly.
The pain and pressure increased until the doctor finally told her to push, and Emma pulled her body and screamed. Her voice vibrated around the room, cracked, hoarse, and panicked. She pushed with every ounce of strength left in her and sweat poured down her face.
Suddenly, there was release. The pressure was gone, and Emma collapsed against the bed, moaning loudly and trying to regain herself. The baby cried loudly, squalling for all it was worth.
The doctor smiled. "It's a boy Emma."
Emma's entire body ached for her child. Gripping the rail harder than ever, she turned away.
"Emma?"
The doctor expected her to happily take the infant. It took all of her willpower to shake her head as the doctor held the baby boy. Her baby boy. Ever muscle in her body ached, but still she had to fight her every instinct and want to hold the child. The boy screamed, obviously looking for his mother.
Emma rocked back and forth, trying to fight her desire to love the little boy. Tears poured down her face, and she clamped her mouth shut, determined not to break down. She still hadn't looked at him. If she looked at him, she would never look away. And that wasn't what she wanted for her child. She wasn't giving him away because she didn't love him. She was giving him his best chance because she loved him. She wasn't ready to be a mother, and that little boy deserved so much more than she could give him. But it still took everything in her to face the opposite direction and fight her own body.
"Just so you know Emma, you can change your mind." The doctor held the crying child, waiting for Emma to take the little boy.
"No" her voice cracked, emotion spilling out for everyone to hear. She wanted more than anything to say yes. She wanted him, she wanted to raise him, to know him, to love him. But she couldn't she'd never had a mother, she could never be a mother. Her child would only end up with the same life she had. No, the little ones always got adopted by nice families. He would have a good life, one that she couldn't give him. She was a prisoner of her own life, she didn't even have the chance to say yes. He would never have a life with her. She had to give him away.
"I can't be a mother." She fought every urge to sit up and take the boy, cradle him in her arms, and love him more than she'd ever loved anyone else. She stayed on the bed as the doctor left the room, desperately trying to keep herself from running after him. Once he was gone, Emma finally broke down. Her body quivered with exhaustion, tears poured down her face, and she shook with hiccupping sobs. She just wanted him back. Curling into a ball, she let herself feel the full weight of what she had just done. Her heart clenched painfully, and it seemed that her chest would cave in and her body would break. The only keeping her together were the broken, labored breaths that she took between the sobs.
Emma was broken, more than she had been before. She just gave away her chance at happiness and love to give her child a chance at the same. It didn't matter if she hurt, as long as he got the best she could give him. Emma's heart and life were shattered, but her son's would be whole.
Review! Let me know what you thought!