Author's Note: This, my dear readers, is the reason why you should not read a Naruto chapter right before bed and then keep yourself up to write whatever ridiculous dialogue that pops into your sleep-deprived brain.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
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"It's not fair!" Sasuke suddenly shouted, interrupting the squabbles of the Hokages. Everyone turned to look at him.
"I know, Sasuke..." The Third said gravely. "What was done to your family.."
"Oh sure that!" Sasuke replied, waving his hand in a nonchalant way. "That's old news. I'm talking about that cool coat of the Fourth's!"
"My... coat...?" Minato mumbled.
"Yeah! Why do you get such an awesome coat while everyone else is forced to wear such stingy outfits?"
"Stingy!" The Second shouted in outrage. "I'll have you know, cursed-one, that I had this outfit specially made! I designed it and- why did you just do that?"
' "Do what?" Sasuke asked, cocking his head to the side in innocence.
Suigetsu looked from Jugo to Orochimaru. "Is... Sasuke... okay?" He whispered.
"There appears to be..." Orochimaru searched for the right word.
"A screw loose somewhere." Jugo deadpanned.
"You just know made an 'aw' sound!" The Second continued. "Why did you make an 'aw' sound?"
"Well, it's just..." Sasuke began to tear up. "Your sense of fashion... is so... SAD!" And so saying, the Uchiha broke into tears.
Everyone in the room sweat-dropped.
"I don't remember Sasuke-kun being so... emotional." The Third pointed out.
"Considering he seemed to have discarded all emotions besides anger over the last few weeks." Jugo added.
"Remember how I said all Uchihas are cursed?" The Second asked. Everyone nodded. "Well I take it back; this one is just deranged."
"Hormones?" Orochimaru suggested.
"Please, don't EVER suggest that again!" Suigetsu begged, covering his ears in pain.
"S-Sasuke?" Minato asked gently. "Are... you okay?"
Sasuke sniffed loudly. "Y-yeah... I'm okay..."
"You know, a lousy fashion sense is nothing to get so upset about." The First tried to comfort, earning a glare from his brother. "If anyone should be crying, it's me. He's my brother!"
"No... it's not that..." Sasuke replied in a broken voice. "Seeing the Fourth is just... he's so like..."
"Who, Sasuke?" Minato asked gently.
"N-NARUTO!" The Uchiha shouted in agony. He threw himself into Minato's unsuspecting arms and wailed, "He was my best friend! And look how I treated him? I tossed him aside to join Odd-ball Orochimaru and his band of freaks!"
"Hey!" Orochimaru, Suigetsue and the usually stoic Jugo exclaimed simultaneously.
"He was so nice..." Sasuke continued. "And I was... s-such a..."
"A what?" The completely lost Minato asked.
"A...a..."
"Dolt?" Suigetsu suggested.
"Idiot?" Orochimaru said.
"Meanie?" The First Hokage asked.
"Fool?" The Third joined in.
"Numskull?" The Second stated, rolling his eyes.
"Yes!" Sasuke jumped up from Minato's arms. "That's the one!"
The Uchiha ran over to the Second Hokage and looked up at him with round, watery eyes. "You understand me. You helped me when no one else could."
"What?" The man was taken aback. "B-but- all I did was suggest a word! A degrading word!"
"I love you." Sasuke said, hugging his new friend with a strange, abnormally happy smile on his face.
"Ew!" The Hokage squealed. "Get this thing off of me! He probably has rabies!"
"Aw, he likes you!" The First grinned. "I'm so glad! I actually thought you hated the Uchihas!"
"I do, you fool!" The Second screamed. "Now remove it!" He pointed at Sasuke, who was still holding on despite the Hokage's constant shaking and pushing.
"Sorry, can't this week." Suigetsue yawned boredly.
"What? Why?!"
"Because we filled all twenty-two pages." Jugo explained.
"We'll have to wait for next week's chapter!" Orochimaru finished.
"That's insane!" The Second stuttered in shock and anger. "In my day, the chapter wasn't done until something was accomplished!"
"Welcome to the modern world!" Suigetsu clapped a hand on the deceased man's back. "Where everyone ties to procrastinate as much as we can!"
"We even try to procrastinate procrastinating!" Orochimaru said with a happy smile.
"I'm so glad I died young..." Minato muttered.
"Insane... the whole world's gone insane..."
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Ending Note: Another parody! Ugh... I just hope this one goes better than my Hunger Games and Katekyo Hitman Reborn ones did.
(: Thank you for reading! Please review! :)