A/N:
The idea of this oneshot got in to my head and it kept bugging me to such an extent that I couldn't focus on Follow your heart . , I just felt I have to write this one first before I can continue on FYH. My second fic, hope you like it (which you probably won't, but hey, one can hope, right :P)
DISCLAIMER : I don't own anything from GS/GSD
Tomorrow
Raindrops were streaming down from the dark sky and some of them ended their fall without reaching the ground. Instead they ended up clashing against the large window of the room. The hush sound from these little drops of water colliding with the cold layer of glass, coupled with the howling of cold wind were the only sounds that reached the room from the lifeless night outside.
Weather was awful, it looked like a storm could be coming. But it didn't feel like most of the storms, there was something different about this one. The rain was falling in furious manner, making it hard to see, creating a white wall of water that prevented human eyes from seeing trough it, flooding the streets of ORB.
Thick layer of fog covered the small island, making sure that if some eyes could see trough the falling wall of water, they would be stopped by the ghostly white mist, which seemed as thick as a spider web, whom you can feel engulfing your body when walking trough it. Cold wind blew around the corners of houses, making it sound like the dead themselves would be wailing from the depths of the mist.
No living soul could be seen on the streets, the island was covered with dark clouds, making the cold streams of water rain down from them and mixing with the fog, which, coupled by the darkness of night remained impenetrable by the weak street lights, which themselves seemed to be surrounded by even thicker layer of mist, like the nature itself would be trying to squeeze any signs of life out of the night, enhanced by the crying shrieks of wind.
There was something different about this night, about this upcoming storm. It seemed…lifeless, but something could still be felt underneath the cold surface, it was faint, but it still was there, but it seemed that emptiness was slowly taking over, pushing away and devouring the last remains of the life that could be felt beneath. This storm and the island itself felt lifeless.
Just like those eyes. They seemed empty, they exhibited no signs of life, or even a soul behind their glassy looks, but one could tell that something is still there. But it seemed to be fading away. The room was completely silent, only something like crying seemed to cut trough the silence of the place. But was it really crying? One couldn't tell, because if it was crying, it seemed too…lifeless. Few moments ago, this place was still filled with life, people enjoying themselves, the celebration of the young couple, laughing and dancing, making it seem that there is no pain and suffering in the world.
Now it seemed the room had adopted the silent despair of the raising storm outside, making all the laughs and smiles disappear, filling the void they left with even bigger void, made of silence and unspoken sorrow. The only light source the room had seemed to be damaged, but not completely broken.
It still light up at times, only to become dark again in the next moment. During the flash of lights one could also notice the sparks coming out of the lamp, revealing something that seemed like a bullet stuck in to it. During the small flashes one could make out a figure of a man, tall and slender standing near the door, head bowed down.
Water was dripping from the mans raven black hair, landing on his already soaked shoulders and back, making small drops of cold water travel down the back of his neck and spine. The man didn't notice this, due to the fact that he was already soaked wet. But maybe it had something to do with the look in his eyes. Once again the light flashed, and the boy lifted his head up, revealing the lifeless look in his eyes.
His eyes… they seemed to store as much despair and sorrow as one human could bear, behind the icy barrier of lifelessness. Water drops from his black hair were streaming down the boys face, making it seem that he cried. But he did. Tears were falling down from the red, sorrowful eyes, mixing with the water on his face and landing on the floor at his feet.
His left hand clinched in to a fist, closing around what seemed to be a pink seashell, and he slowly brought it up to his chest, starting to shake lightly, possibly from being cold and wet. Or possibly from something else. Few tears landed on his fist, as he held it close to his heart, closing his red eyes and starting to sob quietly. "Stellar…" his voice seemed as lifeless as his red eyes.
Red eyes…why did he have red eyes? Was it because of the crying? No, his eyes always were red. Because his heart was crying all the time. His very soul was a large drop of tear, engulfing his heart and making it cry in unspoken pain and suffering. Heart… he had no heart, it was taken away from him, violently ripped out of his chest and thrown in to a cold heart of the abyss.
He had a heart once, filled with happiness and joy of life, without a single care in the world. Then it happened. In a blinding flash of light and thundering noise his heart was shattered to pieces in front of his own eyes. Eyes, that once held life. But it disappeared in a heartbeat, along with his family in front of him in one blinding flash of heat and light.
His family…his sister…his life… they all lied destroyed before him, misshapen from the explosion, his sisters severed arm landing in front of him. His heart was shattered with this scenery, the peaces disappearing in the darkness of his soul. But no matter how crushed it was, how deep in the darkness it had fallen, no matter how many pieces it consisted of now… it was still there.
It was there, slowly and painfully trying to crawl back from the depths of sorrow and darkness it had fallen in to, trying to pull the pieces together. His heart was dying, but it struggled to live, it could still make it out of the dark pit of veiling death. It struggled to get out, to become whole again, but it lacked something, a will to live.
An angel… an angel with short, blond hair and magenta eyes came to his life one faithful day, when he had rescued her from drowning. From that day onwards his broken heart gained a new strength, it was finally close to emerging from the depths of hell it had visited. Stellar… she gave strength to his heart, thoughts about her made the broken pieces slowly pull themselves together.
Stellar… innocent victim of war, an experiment nurtured by human hatred and mental sickness and lust for power… a broken life of no past and tomorrow… a young life whose existence meant nothing to no one, a tool of war created by human hatred, with the only purpose to fight and die when the time comes, and to be forgotten.
But a beam of light had found its way in to her horrible existence, which one could not even call life. Someone, to whom her existence meant more than the whole world. Someone her tortured heart found the power to love and trust in to.
To him, it was the same. Stellar… her presence alone could move his stagnant and broken heart. He promised to protect her, he wanted to protect her, his heart wanted her to be safe.
Her fragile body was covered with cuts from the shrapnel, her pink and white flight suit was torn, shrapnel was sticking out of her body. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the man who was holding her. She was trembling from the pain that jolted trough her body, tears were gathering in her bright eyes and rolling down her beautiful face.
Ignoring the pain she slowly tried to lift her trembling hand from the ground, smiling at the crying man that was kneeling beside her, calling her name in despair. He quickly noticed her hand and grabbed it in to his own, holding it tightly, not wanting to let go. She winced from the sudden outburst of pain that once again streamed trough her body, but it seemed the pain wouldn't last, as she could feel her vision darkening.
"Shin…I love you…"
Her eyes closed and head tilted back, her hand slowly slipped out of Shinn's and landed on the ground. Then, it had ended. Any chance his heart had for being whole again, the pieces that Stellar had been holding together with her mere existence… it all crumbled in an instant. His hear shattered in million particles and as she drew her last breath, it fell back down in the void and darkness it had been desperately trying to escape, and the pit crumbled as well, blocking the exit. His heart was gone forever, ripped out of his chest.
Shinn was breathing heavily, standing in the flashing light, clutching the little seashell Stellar had given him so strongly, that his fingers were starting to get white. Neo… that man's name was Neo. He had promised to take Stellar to a gentle and peaceful world, with no wars and mobile suits. He lied, and instead he brought her back to the battlefield in an instant. To fight her final battle in her tortured life, the battle that ended her existence.
And yet, as Shinn found out later, that man had survived. He…he had regained his old life, and had found his love, and lived peacefully. He lived peacefully, in a gentle world without wars and mobile suits. The world he had promised to take Stellar to, yet he had pushed her in to the cold heart of the abyss, while he himself ended up in the gentle world he did not deserve to be in. Why…why was such a thing allowed to happen?
A malicious grin found its way on Shinn's lips. He was holding something in his right hand as well. As the light flashed again a black gun could be seen in his right hand. Shinn lifted his head, still smiling a dreadful smile, his eyes still devoid of life and slowly started to walk forward. His footsteps loudly echoed in the empty room, breaking the deafening silence brought by the lifeless night. Neo…he is not the only one responsible for her death…
Shinn's thoughts were interrupted as his leg hit something, making him almost trip. He looked down at the object that almost made him fall and started for some time, smile disappearing from his face. Stellar…no one…no one will hurt you anymore…you don't have to be afraid anymore…you…you are in a world without wars now. You…you told me that I will see you tomorrow… I waited, but tomorrow never came…but it will…just wait for me…
"Neo…" There was a slight amount of amusement heard in Shinn's voice, despite it still being cold and lifeless. "Tell her I will see her tomorrow… after all, you will see her first".
Shinn lifted his head up and continued to walk forward, stepping over the object that looked like a body. A corpse of a middle-aged man, with curly, shoulder length blond hair was lying on the ground. His white jacked was slowly becoming more and more red, soaking with the blood, coming from three small holes in the man's chest. He was lying in an increasing pool of blood, his eyes open, but without a single trace of life in them. His features, remaining the same as they were in the final moments of his life had frozen an expression on his face, that clearly stated 'i'm sorry'
Lightning flashed outside, but for some reason thunder didn't follow. The howls of the wind had stopped, and Shinn's footsteps were the only thing that broke the silence as he walked towards, in to the room's darkness. Neo was not the only one responsible for this, no. There was Freedom and it's pilot. But he had forgiven him for killing Stellar, and he tried to live up to that. Shinn left ZAFT and joined the ORB military as a captain, and tried to live on.
He didn't hate ORB as he had stated so many times. It was his home, no matter the fact that his heart began its long, never ending fall in to the void of despair here. After all, it was his home, people were the ones responsible for the actions, not the country itself who tried to protect them. ORB had really fought desperately, as Shinn had found out. After becoming a captain, one of his everyday activities was to watch video recordings from battle of ORB. He didn't know why, but it seemed to calm him down in some strange way. Until that one day.
Flashback
Shinn sat down on his chair in his office and sighed, drinking from a can of cola. He slowly turned around, towards some monitor on his desk and blankly stared at it for some moments. He slowly lifted his hand and reached for the 'power' button and turned the monitor on. After that he stroke a few keys on his keyboard and a list of recordings popped up.
C.E. 71. 6.15 – west side camera. Evacuation harbor
Shinn's hand froze over the keyboard, his eyes widened as he read this information. 'the day my…family…died'. Slowly, with shaking hands he pushed 'Enter' and the screen came to life. The camera appeared to be placed near a small harbor, where only one vessel had docked, taking in refugees. Shinn gasped as he saw the ship. The ship whose captain had picked him up and carried to, after his family had died.
Combat was taking place at the area, a green Gundam, riding on the back of a black Gundam passed trough the area, shooting down some M-1 units along the way. Shinn recognized those units. Calamity and Raider. Then another mobile suit appeared in the distance and started to engage these two. Calamity landed on the ground and Raider remained airborne. Then something caught Shinn's attention in the nearby forest.
With shivering fingers he typed some commands, and computer zoomed in to the forest. A family of four were running down the path in the forest, towards the harbor. Then suddenly the four people stopped and it looked like they were arguing about something. Suddenly the young boy left the group and ran down the hill and bent down and picked something up.
Shinn's hand unconsciously grabbed the pink cell phone he had in his pocket, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. And then it happened. A big explosion, which left a big hole in the place where the family stood, and the boy got tossed up in the air and rolled down the mountain.
Shinn was trembling as he watched this, his hand gripping his sisters cell phone, eyes producing streams of tears. He felt sick to his stomach, reliving this scene once again. His family…blown away just like that… But this time, he will find out who… not that it would change anything, but he wanted to know…
His fingers trembled so badly he hit the wrong keys a couple of times. Finally he managed to get the camera to zoom out again, and he rewind the recording a bit, then he hit play and started to watch, sweating and breathing heavily.
Calamity and the new suit were exchanging shots, unable to hit each other. Calamity jumped back and landed nearby to the spot where Shinn's family were, and fired its canons at the new suit. The new suit dodged and spread its wings and fired a barrage of beams at Calamity, but missed. Beams hit the ground and created a large explosion in the forest.
Shinn hit stop and bowed his head down, leaning forward and panting heavily. So that's who did it, the new suit that joined the battle. After a few minutes Shinn lifted his head and took his can of cola and took a small sip from it, then he slowly placed his other hand on the keyboard and stroke a few keys.
The screen started to zoom in on the new suit… it had wings…it was painted white and blue… the screen zoomed in further. Shinn's eyes widened in shock, his eye pupils narrowed, the can slipped from his fingers and hit the ground, spilling its contents. Shin slowly lifted his trembling hand and moved it closer to the screen with extended fingers.
He grinded his teeth and clinched his hand in to a fist and with a sorrowful scream punched the screen, making it fall off the table and fall to the ground, smashing its screen in the process. Shinn punched the desk and looked down, trying to think straightly for a moment, but his head was overcome with his new discovery.
"Damn…you…Freedom…" he almost growled, tears falling down on the floor, forming a miniature puddle at his feet
End Flashback
Lightning flashed again, as Shinn continued his slow walk towards the far end of the room, tears covering his face, holding a gun in his hand, still clutching the seashell in his hand. Freedom…Kira Yamato… Shinn's life was a tragedy by itself. His past died along with his family, making sure that any memories he might have of the past would bring him pain and suffering.
Stellar…his future died along with her heartbeats, as she closed her eyes for the last time, with those heartbreaking words on her lips. His future died along with the blonde angel, making sure that any vision of the future he had was a torture by itself, because none of them could contain her.
All he had left is his present. Present, where he had nowhere to move on to. His past had died with his family, his future had died with Stellar. He was at present now, with darkness and sorrow awaiting at both ends. A tunnel, which had no light at the end of it, no matter which end you took. Stellar…i…i want for tomorrow to come…but it doesn't…why…why? And all because of him. This one man who had done this to him, with his sword called Freedom.
Quiet sobs and whispers brought Shinn back to the reality, and he turned his head and looked towards the corner of the room with his cold, lifeless gaze. Another lightning flashed, revealing two people in the corner. A male and a female. The young female had placed her head on the males chest and her hands were gripping the young mans shirt.
Tears were covering her young and beautiful face, falling down and staining the boy's shirt. Another lightning flashed, and the howling of the wind, which sounded more like wailing of tortured souls could be heard again. The man's purple eyes were affixed to the girl in front of him, his hands were reaching towards her, as if he would come to her, no matter what. But he couldn't. After all, dead don't have their wishes granted, no matter how dear those wishes are.
His final gesture, when he was reaching out for the pink haired girl in front of him, was preserved by death. It seemed that even after death he wants to come to her, to be closer to her, which could be seen in his now lifeless purple eyes, his hands reaching towards the girl, his last and deepest wish frozen in the moment.
…Just like Stellar… A vision of Stellar slowly sinking in to the lake, and himself crying on Impulse's hand came to Shinn's mind. She slowly sank deeper, but her hands reached up, as if her very being didn't want to leave Shinn, despite the death that had taken her. Her very soul had come to him later and thanked him for giving her a yesterday… for being something in her life that was worth remembering.
"Kira….Kira…" Lacus quietly sobbed in a heartbreaking voice, gripping the said boy's shirt tighter. Her very pose exhibited pain and suffering, her heart was breaking, her mind blank as she clung to the love of her life, that was taken from her on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Another flash of light lit the room, shedding light on Kira's face, revealing a small trail of blood coming down from a small hole in his forehead.
Shinn was crying tars of pain, guilt, and misery as he watched Lacus mourn the death of her lover, her husband, her heartbreaking cries echoing in Shinn's mind. I…I'm the one who did this…to her. She…she is hurting…just like me…i…i'm no better than Kira….
Shinn slowly turned around and walked towards the window. From the time you get hold of such power, you become the one who makes others cry. Shinn slammed his fist against the window, remembering these words. Athrun…you…you are right. As always…and that's why…that's why you must live on… because you understand that…i'm glad you couldn't come here today…you didn't have to see this…
Shinn lifted his head up and looked up at the dead black sky with his tear stained face and red, lifeless eyes. He pressed his forehead against the cold glass and stood like that for a moment, dwelling in his thoughts, trying to ignore the heart wrenching cries from the other end of the room.
I…I tried to kill you…Meyrin…yet you both forgave me…why? I…I couldn't realize i'm the one hurting others. Your…friend…he didn't realize that as well. Or he thought he is doing for a better tomorrow. But what about me? The ones like me, who have no tomorrow? Now…now I understand why you didn't want to fight while you were on Minerva…I understand now…
That's why…i'm glad you and Meyrin are alive, that you both have found the tomorrow I couldn't. You …you must live Athrun, because you understand. Those who don't, shouldn't live…
Shinn lowered his gaze and blankly stared at the gun in his hand. Slowly, a creepy grin appeared on his face. The small amount of something that could be felt beneath the lifeless eyes a while ago was completely gone, his gaze was completely empty. He cast his gaze on the seemingly dead island of ORB and slowly brought the gun up and pointed it towards his temple, and slowly started to tighten his index finger, with strange grin on his face.
"Stellar…it's finally…tomorrow"
A/N:
Huh, all done. So, any comments, did you like, dislike it ? Expecting to get flamed for this one :D R&R please. Criticism and flames – all welcomed. And now that this is out of my system, I can start working on FYH again . And for some reason the darn thing doesnt let me to add rulers to this story :(
