My first attempt at a one shot. This was a mess. It came to me right before falling asleep. I woke up with the feeling I was supposed to write something and no clue what it was. After a lot of time, this is a poor version of what I came up with that night. I wish I'd know that I am supposed to write when inspiration hits, and you live and learn, then you get luvs.

WEEKLY ONE-SHOT CHALLENGE: WEEK #24

DEADLINE: Wednesday 9/16 Midnight PST

Theme: I give my gun away when it's loaded

Sitting out on my porch swinging gently and staring into the night, I heard rustling by the tree line. Perhaps it was the vampire blood, or maybe I just knew it was him, but I motioned Bill to come and join me.

He stepped out into the clearing and made his was slowly to the house. He was watching me cautiously as he came up the stairs, and pulled up a seat next to me on the swing.

"I wasn't stalking you, Sookie" he said trying to calm me.

" I didn't say you were Bill, but you have to admit it is kinda creepy having you lurk around my property".

"Sweetheart, I was just making sure you were safe."He responded, sounding very sweet and convincing.

" Please, stop coming around. I can take care of myself. I would call if I need you. Stop lurking around my house" I replied as indignantly as I could. There was something about my first love, that prevented me from unleashing the venom that I wanted to.

His hand brushed the hair from my eyes, and placed it behind my ear, softly touching my face and whispering " I would never force myself or my company on you , you invited me just now."

"Bill stop, just stop. You know good and well that I invited you after you had already came onto my property and you were already lurking in MY woods."

Then tell me to leave Sookie and mean it. I would have left you alone, if you meant it truly. But you never have. You still love me, you always will Sookie."

The words stung because I knew they were true. He would always be my first love. The one who took my virginity, and regardless of how things worked out, that still met something to me. Bill knew he had me.

"You may have a blood bond with Eric, but I will always be a part of you. I have something that Blood cannot override, no matter how strong- a bond is formed. You have killed for me Sookie, I was your first lover, you will never be free of your attraction to me. You are bound to me forever by something much stronger than any bond. Your own values and morals tie you to me."

I was shocked to hear it so bluntly. I was pissed. I stormed into my house, and dug in attic upstairs. I knew Bill wouldn't follow me since I had rescinded his invitation, so I dug for the gun and silver bullets I had bought a few months ago.

I wanted him to take the words back. He had to know he was wrong " No Bill I don't love you! I did once but not anymore. You lied to me!! You cheated on me!! You... You.. NEVER even Loved me!!!!" I screamed at him waving the gun around wildly punctuating each of my accusations.

"Do you wish to hurt me Sookie? You know that bullets won't do anything but hurt me. Do you wish to hurt me as I hurt you, darling?" he said patronizingly.

"I guess you really don't know me at all then. Bullets might not do much, but silver ones will." I said, coolly, calming down enough to steady to gun on his heart.

I heard wheels churning on the gravel at the end of my driveway, and my brothers thoughts getting stronger.

Bill smiled and said in his most warm and charming voice " You don't want to kill me Sookie. You can't. The same reason you will always be tied to me is the same reason you will never be able to kill me. You couldn't do it to yourself."

Jason had pulled up and ran up the porch.. "Sookie what's wrong. Need me to sharpen a broom handle? What''d he do?"

I wanted to pull the trigger so bad. I wanted it to end.. He couldn't be right, even thought I knew he was.

"Sookie, you still love me. Put down the gun darling, You don't have to admit it now, I will wait. I know you will compare everyone to me. I will be the one you always come back to. It will be ok."

Jason approached me "Sook, come on now, Vampire Bill's not that bad. No reason to get all crazy now trying to scare him. Give me the gun Sookie."

I was suddenly realized that I had revealed that I had a gun with silver bullets to a vampire who would take it the wrong way.. What would happen when the others found out. I knew to many vampires, and more than a few would take it as an offense. I had revealed my ace in the hole. As I though about that Jason took a step towards me taking me softly asking me to hand him the gun.

I knew Bill was right. I would never be able to move on as long as he kept coming around. Living right next door was just to close, and I knew he still cared. Knowing he was always around, kept me from bringing people home, I cared to much what he thought. He knew the hold he held over me. Not only that but he was still manipulating me. Playing on the 'values and morals" that I had to keep me alone, and eventually back to him.

I also knew I could never kill him. He was just to much part of my life. I turned to Jason, and gave my gun away when it's loaded, but not before telling my brother. "He raped me in Jackson.", and walked in the house.

I head the roar of the gun as I closed my door, and I sunk to the floor sobbing. Crying for the loss of my first love, my first lover, my first moments of quite and peace. But most importantly, I cried for my freedom. I was finally going to be able to move on.