Some Hearts
g
Mac/Harm
Summary: Very AU and very Out of Character…well some might think that it is….I personally think this is what would happen if Mac and Harm finally got it and understood that they are meant for each other…and this is how they would interact with each other after hours with the JAG family. Inspired by the Carrie Underwood song "Some Hearts"
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN EM! I DON'T EVEN OWN MY iBOOK YET!
Robert's Residence
Somewhere in Virginia
The JAG family, new and old, have gathered at the Robert's house to celebrate their wedding anniversary and the birthday of their twins. A.J. even made it as did General Creswell and his family. I got here early so that I could help Bud and Harriet set everything up and to get a head start on the grilling.
"Commander, I mean Harm, do you know when Mac is going to be here?"
Harriet seemed concerned by the tardiness of our usually punctual Colonel. Everyone, except one Sarah Mackenzie, had arrived. I was actually beginning to worry.
"She will get here when she gets here. There is no need to worry. "
I don't know whom I am trying to convince, Harriet or me?
"You're right Sir. I am sure she is safe and on her way."
Harriet hands me some carrots to cut for the salad and then orders A.J. and the General to finish making the salad. It's kind of funny to see how the General reacts to Harriet's orders. I think he finally understands how the JAG family works. I feel a tug at my pants leg and look down to find both of my godsons looking up at me.
"When is Auntie Mac getting here?"
Little A.J.'s question isn't unexpected and neither is the supportive nod he is getting from his little brother Jimmy.
"She should be here soon A.J."
"Could she be hurt? Is that why she isn't here?"
Both Jimmy and A.J. seem very concerned about the wellbeing of their Aunt. And I was unaware that our little exchange had drawn the attention of everyone in the room.
"So when's the party gonna start?"
Everyone turns around to find one Sarah Mackenzie standing in the doorway of the kitchen holding three very large gift bags.
"Sturgis take her bags and put them with the rest. Admiral and General could you please take the rest of the food out to the deck and put it on the table. Bud and Coates could you round up the children and everyone else and let them know that food is done and it's time to eat."
With that the kitchen cleared out and Harriet gives Mac and I one last look before she goes and checks on the twins.
"Why didn't you call to let us know you were going to be late?"
I feel like a jealous boyfriend or an over protective father. She just looks at me and raises her eyebrow like she so often does when I get in this mood.
"I mean, I knew you were fine but Harriet and Little A.J. were very concerned. So was little Jimmy."
I look down and hope she doesn't notice the blush on my face. It's then that I hear people filing back into the kitchen.
"Are you done Harm? Or would you like to continue with the over protective boyfriend bit?"
I notice out of the corner of my mind that Harriet is now shooing people out of her kitchen. I can only assume that she heard Mac's statement and wants to give us some sort of privacy. I personally am having a hard time coming up with a witty comeback.
"What Harm? Cat got your tongue?"
Even money says I am going to regret what I am about to say, but she went to far with the "over protective boyfriend" line.
"No Colonel, I was just asking myself why I even bother anymore. Caring, that is. Why is it that I bother caring about your wellbeing when you have made it clear over and over again that you don't need it nor do you want it from me. So, excuse me for trying to bring comfort and reassurance to our godchildren. They were concerned. If you will excuse me, I need to go wash my hands."
With that said, I turn and leave the kitchen never looking back. I am sure if I did I would have found a very shocked and hurt Marine. Needless to say I was hoping for a very pissed Marine. That I could handle. Lord help us all if I made her cry.
I make my way to the downstairs bathroom. I rinse my hands and splash my face with some cool water. I turn to leave the bathroom and find little Jimmy standing in the door way.
"Hey buddy, you ready to eat?"
I step closer to him, but he backs away and runs down the hall towards the living room.
I follow him only to find the room empty. I go into the kitchen and look out the window. Everyone seems to have already taken their seats at the table. Everyone except for Mac. I make my way up the stairs. Maybe she was using the bathroom up there. I slowly make my way down the hall and stop when I get outside the twins' room. I hear sniffling. It's then that I realize how much of an ass I am and that I really should let her know when I am not being serious.
I quietly step into the room and the sight that I am greeted with makes my heart clench. She is standing beside the crib that holds the two sleeping infants. And she is crying, almost sobbing and it's all because of me. I don't dare move. In fact I should turn and leave, but I want nothing more than to take her into my arms, apologize like there is no tomorrow and promise never to make her cry again.
"You're right you know."
Damn it! I thought I was being quiet. Must be that bond we have. Her voice was barely a whisper. She sounded so small, so hurt and it's all because of me.
"No I wasn't. I was trying to be funny and once again I took it too far. It was never my intention to make you upset or to make you cry. Heck I was hoping for pissed and feisty. You have to believe me when I say I am sorry."
By now she has turned to face me and my heart just aches. Her face is stained with tears that continue to fall. I take a small step towards her expecting her to step back or even tell me to stop. But she doesn't do either of those things. So I take another step. And another, and before I know it I am standing face to face with her. There are only inches between us.
"Don't apologize for telling the truth Harm. It's one of the many things that I love about you."
Wow. She just…she…wow. I know I have a shocked expression on my face. I have to. There is no way that I don't. And I must look like a fool, because a small smile makes it way to her face. It quickly disappears as another bout of tears takes over.
"Dare I say 'cat got your tongue'?"
We both chuckle and look at the sleeping twins. They look so peaceful. If they only knew what life was really like, they might reconsider growing up. My gaze drifts to Mac and I am struck with the realization that she would make a wonderful mother one day.
"It's a shame they can't stay like this forever, don't ya think?"
Her voice is soft and almost whimsical. She turns to look at me and she still has tears in her eyes. I take her face into my hands expecting her to pull away. Instead she nuzzles my palm and places her hands on mine. I use my thumb to wipe away her tears, but my attempts are met with more tears. I am just thankful for the physical contact. I should be a very dead squid by now, but for some reason she has let me live. She is still looking at me, waiting for my answer to her question. I look into her eyes and see that there is more going in that head of hers. So I dare go where no make dares to go.
"What is it Sarah. What's wrong? Something caused you to be late today. It had to be something big for you to react the way that you did to my poor attempt at a joke. Tell me what's wrong. Whatever it is, we'll get through it. Me and you."
Oh lord. She is crying again. I can't win for losing today. I do what I do best and offer her a shoulder to cry on. In the process I managed to crush her body to mine and she doesn't seem to mind one bit. Something is seriously wrong. I stroke her hair and place small, but soft, kisses on her crown
" You know Harm, I never thought of myself as being a lucky person when it came to matters of the heart. Let's be honest, I have spent most of my adult life stumbling around in circles when it comes to my romantic relationships. But today, I realized, that I am lucky and I have wasted a lot of time and effort convincing myself that I wasn't."
I will admit it now, I am a bit lost. But I am going to go with it.
"What made you realize that you were lucky?" I whisper into her ear.
She moves her head from my shoulder and looks up at me. My hand is still on the back of her head gently stroking her hair in an attempt to sooth her.
"I got a phone call right before I left. It was from my doctor. She wanted schedule an appointment for next week so that we could go over some test results."
I watch as her gaze drifts to the twins again. Now I am scared.
"Is there something wrong? Did they find something else? Has your condition gotten worse?"
Now I am the one who needs to be calmed down. I have a million different emotions and questions running through my head, but they don't seem to matter because I have the woman I love most in the world in my arms.
"Calm down Harm. And breathe. Nothing is wrong. Actually I asked the doctor if we could discuss the results over the phone because I wasn't sure how busy work would be next week. "
"And what did she have to say?"
"That she made a mistake last fall. That my condition wasn't as bad as she had originally thought. In fact the first procedure did more damage than the actual endometriosis, but the second procedure this spring took care of that damage."
"Ok, we all know I am a bit dense, so you might have to spell this one out for me."
She giggles at my response and I realize that she is still in my arms and it appears she has no intention of leaving them anytime soon. And I am not complaining.
"Well I basically went from having a 4 chance of getting everything I ever wanted to having a 4 chance of not getting everything I ever wanted."
Once again her gaze drifts over to the twins and I realize what she is saying. At least I think I do.
"So what you are saying is that I am a total and utter ass who has the timing of a… well I don't think there is anyone who has timing worse than myself, especially when it comes to you."
"So Flyboy, what I am saying is that some hearts just get lucky sometimes and I am hoping, no I'll be honest, I am praying and begging that you can forgive me for pushing you away. I want you to be part of my life. I don't want you to feel like that you are an outsider. Nine years ago I felt something so strong and so powerful that it scared me. I never thought that someone like you could ever love me, and when we met it was the last thing that my heart expected. I have spent the last nine years trying to convince myself and my heart that I am not good enough for you. The endometriosis was an excuse to continue pushing you away. Mic, Dalton, hell even Webb, they were my way of giving you reasons to hate me. To stop loving me, but I realize now that you couldn't and you never did. Stop loving me that is."
"Uncle Harm! Aunt Mac! Lunch is ready."
I hear Little A.J. calling for us in the hall, but I don't want to let go of the woman in my arms. So I don't. I don't care who finds us. She just gave me everything I wanted and I haven't even said 'Thank You' yet.