Author's Note: Okay, so maybe everyone is a little bit OOC here. It's just a tiny bit though and purely for humorous purposes. And yes this is partially based on a real life experience I had. And yes I was the one cowering in the kitchen while someone else took care of the problem. And yes I ran to the car when things got ugly. Hmm I should probably stop projecting my thoughts and actions onto Dean.
Summary: When Sam and Dean are in trouble, there's really only one man they call. Bobby Singer.
Pairings: None.
Bobby to the Rescue!
Bobby Singer was nearly panicked by the time he arrived back at his house. He almost tripped and fell on the steps as he ran to the door. Dean and Sam had been staying at his place, resting up from their last hunt, for the last couple of days. He had only gone to the grocery store, for God's sake. They weren't even alone for three hours and already there was trouble. Dean had called him while he was in the middle of the bread aisle, screaming into the phone about needing help, then it sounded like Sam had screamed in pain and the call had gotten disconnected. Bobby immediately dropped everything and raced back to the house. He was worried he'd be too late, that he'd lose those two boys again. He didn't think he could stand losing either of them, not after having it already happen. The pain would just be too much.
So he slammed through his front door and shouted for Dean. He heard an answering shout from his kitchen and immediately ran to it, the relief he felt when he saw Dean and Sam standing there almost drove him down to his knees. He also noticed the angel Castiel nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot in the corner, and this relieved Bobby as well. He was glad that there was an angel for the boys to call when they needed help, an angel who would always be able to get to them faster than Bobby could.
"Oh Bobby, thank God you're here!" Dean said stepping forward to grab him in a bear hug. "Do you have the Colt? Please tell me you have the Colt!" It was unlike Dean to sound so frightened. His face was shock white, his eyes wide and wild.
"Whoa son, calm down. What's happened here? Are you okay?" Bobby gripped Dean's arm tightly. "Slow down, tell me what's going on. I have the Colt with me, but just tell me what's happening." Just then he noticed Sam's hand was wrapped in a bandage. "Is Sam hurt?"
"It bit him Bobby." Dean whispered. "Jesus, I didn't think they could bite, but it bit him when he went to kill it!"
"What bit him?" Bobby asked but before Dean could answer, there was a noise from the library, like books being knocked off shelves. Sam made a nervous noise in his throat and Dean jerked towards the doorway, flinching like he was expecting an attack. "Boys please, tell me what's going on." Bobby said, reaching under his jacket and retrieving the Colt. "If I have to be shooting something, I want to know what it is so I know where to hit it."
Sam and Dean exchanged glances before Sam answered. "We don't know how it got in the house..." Sam began, obviously still feeling pain from the bite on his hand. "I mean these things aren't even supposed to be native here."
"Don't listen to encyclopedia boy over there." Dean butted in. "We know how it got in, Meg put it here." Bobby's eyebrows shot up.
"That demon was in my house again?"
Dean nodded furiously. "It came in a box, it was addressed to us."
"Yeah, and you opened it like a dumb ass Dean. I can't believe you didn't find it suspicious at all that Bobby was getting mail addressed to us." Sam snapped, fidgeting with his bandage. "And then when you saw what it was, you came screaming to me."
"Yeah well look who failed at killing it! I had to call Cas and Bobby didn't I?" Dean growled whirling on Sam. "I told you that shoe wasn't going to work!"
"Wait, wait, wait." Bobby said, getting angry now. "You mean to tell me Sam went after a demon with a shoe?"
"Of course not! It's not a demon." Sam looked offended and peeved.
"I wouldn't be so sure." Dean grumbled, again nervously looking towards the library. "Bugs don't get that big naturally."
Bobby made a noise of disgust, stowing the Colt back in his coat and leaning back against the counter. "You mean to tell me you idjits called me screaming for your life, almost gave me a dang heart attack, could've killed myself speeding over here, over a damn bug?" He shouted the last part. More noise came from the library. Bobby turned to Castiel. "And you! You're an angel for crying out loud, you couldn't handle a bug?"
"I believe it is a great evil." Castiel said in his usual deep growl. "It fills me with fear when I look upon it. I attempted it to crush it but it attacked me. I am ashamed that in my cowardice, I retreated to the kitchen and left Sam and Dean to the monster. Even filled with shame, I find myself unable to return to the room where it lurks." His piercing stare drilled into Bobby, the seriousness on his face unmistakable. "I am sorry. I have failed you all." He hung his head.
Bobby slapped his palm onto his forehead and drug it down his face. Idjits, all of them. Didn't they understand he'd nearly driven his blood pressure through the roof believing that Dean and Sam were in danger? The combination of being so pissed off and relieved at the same time made him want to give both boys a hug then strangle them.
"Okay, give me that frying pan. It's dirty anyway." Dean and Sam exchanged another look.
"Bobby, that isn't going to kill it." Dean said nervously as Bobby snatched the pan up out of the sink. "You don't understand, it's like enormous and it can fly. It's some kind of demon beetle."
"Asian water beetle to be exact." Sam added from his corner of the kitchen.
"Asian water beetle to be exact." Dean mimicked screwing his face up and sticking his tongue out at the end. Bobby glared at him.
"Listen up idjits, I'm going to go in there, kill this beetle, then come back in here and knock the mess outta all three of ya will this frying pan." As he stepped towards the library, Castiel stopped him by putting his hand on Bobby's shoulder. His eyes were cold with fear.
"I'm not sure if I can resurrect you if this beast takes you." The angel said softly. "Your bravery is admirable." Bobby rolled his eyes and pushed him away.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, now let go. The longer I sit in the kitchen with you boys, the more foolish I feel."
He stepped through the doorway, scanning the room for the bug. He didn't see it on the walls or the ceiling, good. He approached his desk, gingerly stepping over the fallen books and maps. He didn't see the beetle anywhere on the desk. He sidestepped around to the other side and knelt down to look on the bottom of the desk.
He saw the beetle. It was a very big beetle.
Slowly, he stood back up. He looked at the frying pan, looked at the desk, looked towards the kitchen where Dean was nervously peeking over Sam's shoulder at him. He looked back at the frying pan. It was a good size pan, nice and big, made of cast iron. Again, he bent down and looked under the desk at the beetle. It was lodged in a corner. The position it was in would mean he'd have to crawl partially under the desk to be able to hit it with the pan. Dean had said the beetle could fly, he didn't want to do that.
Carefully, he gripped the desk. "I'm going to flip this desk over to get at it!" he called to the boys in the kitchen.
"That's just going to make it mad!" Dean yelled back. "I'm going to go sit in the Impala."
Bobby shook his head. Mentally, he counted to three and then he flipped the desk.
~*~*~2 HOURS LATER.~*~*~
Bobby sat in the Impala outside of his house with Sam, Dean, and Castiel. All four were silent. Bobby took a swig of his beer.
"I told you that was going to make it mad." Dean said quietly, nervously drumming his fingers on the dashboard. Bobby gave him a dirty look, then took another swig of beer.
"Sam," he said "How long do these beetles normally live?"
From the backseat Sam spoke up. "I don't know Bobby, somebody smashed my laptop with a frying pan trying to kill the beetle." He sounded pissed off. Bobby didn't care. The bites on Bobby's arms hurt and he was pretty sure he'd sprained something fleeing from the library. Everyone looked back at the house. The lights were all on and they could vaguely see the shape of the beetle flying around through the windows.
"So what do we do now?" Dean asked. "How do we get rid of it?"
There was a heavy silence as the men in the car contemplated their options.
"We could burn the house down." Castiel growled.
Bobby sighed, rubbed his temples, and took another swig of beer.
Fin.
