Summary:
It's a comical horror; I have no where to go, but the place I'm always welcomed, yet I can't go there.
Three chapters long. I have all of them written, but I'm posting one at a time and only putting the next chapter if I get reviews, a good amount of reviews. (oh no flames, but helpful input would be nice…)
Ps. I know this chapter sucks but the next two are awesome… I've never been good at Rikku's Pov so just bare with me… I'm getting better.
Disclaimer- I own nothing.
Chapter one
Rikku's Dilemma
I don't know when it started raining, but I'm cold, and it's this damn rain's fault. I guess you can say it's my fault for sitting out here in my normal swim top, with only scarf to keep me warm; but if you think about, I don't have any where to go nor do I have anything warmer to change into.
Yep, my life kinda sucks at the moment. But you wanna know the worst part about? I'm used to it. Ever since we beat that Vega-thingy, I've had no where to go. Nowhere that makes me feel welcome and helpful.
I was told I could stay with Yuna and Tidus, but come on, their newly weds, I'm not that dumb to intrude. Even Pain said I could tag along with Baralai and her; their traveling Spira. But, you know that whole, third-wheel thing doesn't sound like fun.
I was going stay with Brother, but a few less than subtle hints, told me he didn't want his sister tagging along with him; poor guy, he still not over Yuna. And going home to Pops is out of the question, so alas, I'm going, or I suppose I was going to last place that would welcome me, not to mention it's the last place I want to be.
Yeah, I was on my way to Djose, I was going to swallow my pride and ask for a room and a job. Honestly, I was going to do it. I got as far as to where the temple came into view; then my body just stopped moving and I found my self sitting on a rock, looking at the temple.
It's not that I'm afraid of rejection, 'cause I know he'll welcome me, he always welcomes me.
He always lets me come in; no questions asked, he gives me a job and makes me feel needed. I can stay as long as I want and when he wakes up one morning to find me gone; he never looks for me.
It's kinda an unspoken tradition we have, but some how this time is different.
Most of the times I come here it's for the money, I work here for a bit and then leave when I get what I need. But this time; this time… I'm not here for the money. I'm here because I have no where else to go.
It's been three years since Vegnagun, and if I enter the temple tonight, it will be the fourth time, since the world is truly calm.
It's really raining hard now, it almost hurts on my bare skin, yet I can't bring myself to walk the short distance to the temple. Honestly, there no logical reason that's stopping me. Inside waits a good warm meal, and a soft bed, two things that I haven't had in at least two months.
I guess, in way I think that's my problem. I know that when I ring that bell this time and he looks down at me, dripping with more than just water, he'll know that this isn't the same as the others.
It's stupid, there no difference between this and the last time I stopped by. He'd never know that I need more than just money, if I put on a good face, a bright smile he should never know.
But here lies my problem again; somehow he'll know.
Somehow he'll see through my smile, and he'll see that I can't do this on my own.
He knows me too well; he knows I need a purpose, I need something to keep my eyes ahead of me and that I always have to be working to reach a goal. He knows that; and he knows that now that we're in a permanent calm, I have no more purpose.
Somehow, in the first thirty seconds of seeing me, he'll pick up on how distressed and frustrated I am. I can't let him see that; and if I see him, there's no hiding it.
Do you see my problem now?
I can hide my true feeling, emotions or whatever, from anyone, anyone that is but Gippal. It's a comical horror; I have no where to go, but the place I'm always welcomed yet I can't go there, because he's the only one I cant hide anything from. And the fact that I'm unraveling cannot be known; not even to the person who holds all my secrets.