The media will try to feed you fake information; such as videogames cause violence, the new iPhone is sooo much different then the last and the people actually give a damn about global warming. So why should we listen when they try to tell us that the Jonas Brothers split up because the bitch at each other? Here are my theories as to why this god send miracle happened.

1. Disney tried to include them into Disney Infinity.

Disney have ran out of characters to market and suck out as much money as possible with, they even tried getting Miley to come back and be Hannah Montana, but they'd have to change the rating to T-Twerking, and children wouldn't be able to play it, everyone knows children are the majority of players for Disney Infinity (heh heh...). So, Disney animated the 3 bros, and made them a unique world 'Disneys' wash-ups' and their powers were singing songs from Camp Rock to deafen their enemies. Once Disney were satisfied, they called in a bunch of kids to play through and test, but the children left running and screaming in terrior. Disney then fired all 3 bros. Yeah.

2. Taylor Swift turned them onto each other.

Ah, nobody can break up a band like Taylor Swift, well, almost. Back in whatever days before she dated some famous guy, another famous guy, and...Jake, she actually went out with Harry Styles. Urk. I thought she was insane but now I know she's so messed up crazy biatch, yo. Anyways, she managed to get Harry away from the rest of his band for quite a while, and this apperently caused some 'troubles' with them (or it was that time of month). If she actually succeceded in doing so, it would infact be a Love Story and hopefully they would Never Ever Ever Get Back Together. So, since Taylor dated Joe Jonas also, it would make sense that she played him like a puppet in order to eliminate any competition so her horrid, sooky, breaking up songs could get any hope selling. Yah.

3. Dami from X Factor is actually an alien like I predicted (X Factor WINNER ANNOUNCED) and she abducted them and replaced them with drones, I mean clones.

That heading was actually pretty damn self explantory.

4. The Jonas Brothers are actually the Jonas Sisters.

"Why didn't you bone Taylor?" Asks a confused Kevin. "I ...just couldn't." Replies Joe. "Boo, you whore. So frigit gosh." "No I mean I literally couldn't, there's like, nothing there." "OH MAHHH GAWDDDDD, I..I..I, I CAN'T FIND MY BALLS!" Screams Nick from the other room in their pink band van. All three brothers run into the same room and drop their pants, and faint. When they wake up they scream and faint again. After that they wake up and faint again. This goes on for 3 days straight. A crazed fan runs into the door, takes a picture of them and uploads it onto Instagram (after she uploaded what she had for dinner, of course) and they were humilated and hence split up. Damn I'm good at this.

5. I did it.

True story. Bow down to me. I did it. Me, Bishlet. I spared you of any new ear-bleeding songs. Thank me. No, don't go. Here, I'll give you my autograph. But I keep the pen. 1 boy band down, 17585 to go. Probably need workers. Hey, do you know anyone who wants to work for free?

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