'I SWEAR I DIDN'T TAKE IT!'

'WELL YOU MUST HAVE OR OTHERWISE IT WOULDN'T BE MISSING NOW WOULD IT?'

'IT WASN'T ME WHO STOLE YOUR STUPID BLADE DA XIANG!'

'THEN WHY MASAMUNE DID KYOYA AND TSUBASA TELL ME THEY'D SEEN YOU USING IT TO PLEASURE YOURSELF?'

'THEY SAID WHAT?'

In the next room, Kyoya and Tsubasa were admiring Rock Zurafa.

'God, what a pussy. It's only a fucking Blade.' Kyoya said, examining it.

'I know right? He's acting like someone stole a fucking internal organ.'

'KYOYA! TSUBASA!'

'Shit, I think he discovered it was us.'

Da Xiang, eyes burning, stormed into the room.

'GIVE ME BACK MY BEY!'

Kyoya thought for a minute.

'...No.'

'THAT WASN'T A CHOICE! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW!'

'I'll give it to you if you say the magic words.' Tusbasa promised.

'FU-FINE. CANIHAVEMYBEYBACKPLEASE.'

'Wrong! The magic words are 'Tsubasa, I am your bitch and you are the greatest and most attractive Blader ever and Japan is so much better than China.'

Silence.

Then Da Xiang lunged at Kyoya, who was holding Rock Zurafa.

'Get off me you crazy communist!' Kyoya began to laugh, batting the enraged Da Xiang away.

'FEEL MY 4000 YEAR OLD WRATH!'

Tsubasa watched as the two fought, using a variety of punching, scratching, kicking and, in Kyoya's case, biting.

'WHAT THE - YOU JUST BIT ME! WHAT ARE YOU, AN ANIMAL? FUCK, YOUR TEETH ARE SHARP!'

'You just jumped me, asshole! Tsubasa, you saw that right? He's that fucking desperate that he just went for it.'

'He's hard for you, Kyoya. Look, he's making his orgasm face and everything!'

Da Xiang snarled at leaped at Tsubasa, who jumped out of the way.

'WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?' Madoka stormed into the room, followed by the rest of Team Gan Gan Galaxy and Wang Hu Zhong.

'Well Da Xiang thinks that it's perfectly acceptable to jump on someone and start humping them for all its worth.'

'BECAUSE YOU STOKE HIS FUCKING BEYBLADE? WHY? WHY DID YOU STEAL IT?'

'No real reason.' Tsubasa shrugged. 'Maybe I just have kleptomaniacal tendencies?'

Madoka slapped her forehead. 'God, you guys have turned into such retards.'

'I resent that!' Tsubasa frowned. 'Retard implies stupidity and we were intelligent enough to distract Da Xiang long enough to steal his Bey and even convince him it was Masamune who stole it for sexual purposes.'

'How could you be fucking stupid enough to believe that? How do you use a Bey to pleasure yourself?' Mei Mei asked Da Xiang, who was still wrestling with Kyoya.

'I know it sounds strange, but it is possible.' Zhou Xin said, causing everyone to back away from him.

'GIVE IT TO ME!' Da Xiang yelled.

'That's what she said!' Kyoya laughed, slapping Tsubasa a high five.

'Oh, for goodness sake, just give him back his freaking Bey!' Madoka barked.

'Or you'll what? Bitch about what fucking retards we are?' Kyoya asked.

'No shit, she's gonna do that anyway, like she always does.'

'Fuck you, Tsubasa!' Madoka managed to grab the Bey from Kyoya and thrust it towards Da Xiang. 'I don't want to hear a thing from you guys for the rest of the day! Do you understand?'

LATER

Hyoma and Hikaru were chatting about something, without realizing Kyoya and Tsubasa were sneaking up on them.

'Get the fuck away from her you creep!' Kyoya yelled, shoving Hyoma to the ground and beginning to punch him.

'What – ow – the – ow – FUCK-'

'Now's your chance to escape, Hikaru! Run for your life!' Tsubasa.

'What the fuck do you creeps think you're doing! Get off him!' Hikaru tried to push Kyoya off Hyoma, but Tsubasa grabbed her hand.

'It's okay! Sexual harassment is a problem that will not be tolerated!'

'What are you talking about?' Hyoma growled. 'We were in the middle of a perfectly normal conversation!'

'Oh sure, you say that now! We saw the way you were eyeing her up! Look at her; she's shaking 'cause she's so scared-'

'I'M SHAKING BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE SUCH FUCKING MORONS!' Hikaru slapped Tsubasa away and went to help Hyoma up.

'Callous bitch. We saved her life and that's the thanks we get?' Kyoya growled as Hyoma and Hikaru walked away.

'Bitch probably wants to get raped. Just look at the length of that skirt. She's fucking asking for it.' Tsubasa said.

'Fine! Next time we won't bother to be such good Samaritans!' Kyoya yelled after her.

'What the fuck is that on your arm?' Tsubasa asked Kyoya as they were walking along the hallway.

'Fuck off.'

'It looks like a dried up worm.'

'Shut up! It's a fucking friendship bracelet, okay? Benkei promised if I wore it he'd stop trying to hump me every five seconds.'

'That's fucking adorable, that is.'

'I thought I told you to can it!'

'Won't Nile get jealous?'

'The fuck if I care.'

The two stopped when they saw Aleksi and Madoka in front of them.

'What do you know, even nerds can find love.' Tsubasa smiled.

'Those two will have some fucking ugly children.' Kyoya scoffed.

'I have an idea.' Tsubasa said, and a few minutes later he ran towards the two, eyes welling up with tears.

'Madoka! I will fucking kill you! I just got a call from my Doctor and I have herpes!'

Aleksi's eyes bulged, as Madoka glared furiously at Tsubasa.

'Umm, why should I fucking care and eww?'

'Because, Madoka! I was completely fine until that night with you! You gave this to me, you slut!' He turned to Aleksi. 'I know she's as flat as a fucking ironing board, but I'm telling you this one's got around with just about everyone! Do not get involved!'

'TSUBASA, I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU! ALEKSI! Aleksi, I never – I've never even had-'

'BLATENT LIES! I BET IF I ASKED A RANDOM BYSTANDER YOU'D HAVE HAD THEM TOO! YOU SIR!' Tsubasa cried, pointing to Kyoya who was (not so cleverly) disguised wearing a false mustache. 'HAVE YOU OR HAVE YOU NOT HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH THIS WOMAN?'

'TEN TIMES. ON TEN SEPARATE OCCASIONS. MRRRROOOWW~' Kyoya purred.

'YOU GUYS ARE SUCH FUCKING DUMBASSES! ALEKSI! WAIT! WAIT, ALEKSI, PLEASE – THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS-' As Aleksi made some mumbled excuse to leave and began to hurry away, Madoka turned to Tsubasa and Kyoya who were in for some serious shit.

'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING – YOU COMPLETELY BLEW MY CHANCES WITH HIM! AARRRRGGGHHHH! YOU GUYS NEED TO DROP DEAD!' She panted, running out of breath.

'You have three seconds to run…' She hissed, but both of them were laughing to hard to care.

Shit ending.

Too far?

Both T and K are completely OOC in this, as is everyone else.

Think I should continue? It's kind of amusing to write…