Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell. I present Season Three is evidence of this. I also don't own this song. It's by Clay Aitken.
A/N: I'm writing a diagonal universe. In this Universe, some of the stranger stuff at the prom (where Tess began to appear rather strange) didn't happen. Unfortunately, some of the things after the prom DID happen, though not exactly in the same way. The most important of these is the car accident really BEING a car accident.
Run To Me
Don't, you don't have to save my life
No, you're not ready, I can feel it
Outside it's raining, but I'll just go home
Someday your heart will just let him go
- - - - - - - -
He knew as soon as it began that it had to end. As much as he wanted to ignore that little nagging voice and drown in the feelings she evoked, his conscience knew him better than that. Knew that allowing it to continue would be something he'd never forgive. Not just for what it would do to her, but for what he would do to himself. It would shatter his respect; leave him a shadow of his former self. Because, in the long run, this wasn't what either of them needed.
If there was one thing Kyle's battered spirit knew without a doubt, it was that want and need were two very different things. And while kissing Isabel Evans may be every teenage boy's fantasy come true, his Inner Voice, the one that kept him on the straight and narrow and sounded remarkably like his father, knew this wasn't what he needed. Not now.
Because to Kyle, Isabel meant more than that. In the last few months she had become the center of his universe; his every thought was devoted to ensuring that she had not only what she said she wanted, but what she really needed. Something she invariably didn't even know herself. The loss of Alex had shattered the remaining walls of her Ice Queen persona; leaving her fragile, without anything to hide behind. Alex may have been melting the walls, but she'd still been the one holding the reins. After the car accident that had ripped him so unexpectedly from their lives, Kyle had become her wall; shielding her from reality and giving her time to regain her hold.
Now, as they sat in the Evans's living room, Kyle knew it was time he returned the reins to her. She'd become too dependant, and if he didn't act now, they were both on a road to nowhere. She needed to learn to stand on her own again, not to look to him to solve every problem. If he didn't hit the brakes, she'd drive head on into disaster, making him her reason to live. Which was why he had to break this kiss. It was both the hardest and the easiest thing he'd ever had to do.
"Isabel. We're not going to do this." The hurt that immediately filled her eyes shattered his heart and hardened his resolve. "It's not that I don't want to. Believe me, there's nothing more in the world I want. It's that you don't want to. Not really."
Isabel drew herself up, trying, but failing, to strike the regal pose of the Ice Queen. "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have kissed you."
Kyle breathed a heavy sigh, raking a hand through his hair and staring into her confused eyes. "Are you sure about that Iz? It's only been a few months since the accident. He was a big part of your life, and you're looking to fill the hole he left." Neither of them needed or wanted to bring Alex's name into the conversation. "It's perfectly understandable. But you need time. You need to heal yourself before you can let another person into your heart. If you don't, any relationship's just gonna be rebound, and hurt you more in the process. I won't do that to you. You mean far too much to me." At that declaration, Kyle stood and headed for the front door.
- - - - - - -
As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
- - - - - -
Her voice, quiet and somehow loud all at once, stopped him as he reached for the door handle. "You mean a lot to me too, Kyle." His grip tightened, and he didn't even turn his head for fear of what he would see in her eyes.
"Which is why we're not going to do this. Not 'till I'm sure this is really what you want. But Isabel?" He risked a glance as he opened the door.
"Yes Kyle?"
"When you are ready, really ready, I'll be waiting."
The sound of the closing door sent a hollow click right through Isabel's soul.
- - - - - - - -
Right now I
Can't give you what you need
As soon as you get that feeling
Run to me
- - - -
To be continued….
A/N: This is NOT the end, and in the end it will be happy. It's just going to be a bit of a bumpy ride to get there. Please let me know what you think.