Pepper

Pepper was away on business and Tony was left home alone to fend for himself. This was fine. He tinkered in his workshop for a while until hunger struck him, at which point he wandered upstairs. JARVIS had a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and a carton of milk waiting for him on the kitchen island. He had just uncapped the milk when he sighed down at the cereal. "Do y'know, I'm in an adventurous mood. Give me a recipe."

A little over an hour later Tony was sitting down on the sofa, Plate of Spaghetti Mk. 14 resting on his lap. It was lacking proper seasoning because JARVIS had provided him with only salt and no pepper. "That wasn't so hard," he said, smiling down at his handiwork.

"Not at all, sir," JARVIS replied coolly as Dummy cleaned up the spilled water and sauce with a mop.

He ignored the odd crash in the background from the mop knocking something over, and settled down on the sofa to enjoy his meal. Tony had just skewered his third meatball when his TV turned itself on, static buzzing. "Wh—" he began to say, but just then the static fizzled to nothing and Loki's face filled the screen.

Tony's muscles tensed, ready to fight, but he didn't let it show. He just shoved more spaghetti into his mouth as casually as he could. Funnily enough, it didn't taste as good with the Asgardian watching his every move.

Loki grinned into the camera, his teeth bared in a silent snarl. "I am Loki of Asgard," the villain announced with much confidence. Tony rolled his eyes and caught another meatball on his plate. "Good afternoon."

"Uh... it's morning actually, by my watch," Tony said, tapping the watch secured around his wrist.

"Fine. Good morning," Loki corrected.

Tony waited a few seconds for his watch to display 12:00. "Okay, now it's afternoon."

"Good after—" Tony watched with some satisfaction as Loki snarled and stopped. He hit something with his fist that had the camera shaking and Tony filled his mouth with spaghetti again so he wouldn't laugh. "It doesn't matter!" Loki shouted. He cleared his throat, started again, while Tony noisily chewed. "I have been doing some research, Mr Stark, and I have found out what it is that you hold most dear." He paused for what must have been effect.

Tony swallowed hard, the only outward sign he was displaying of his discomfort. And even though he feared he already knew the answer, he asked, "And what's that?"

"Pepper."

With that one word Tony's world began to spin. He set his plate down on the coffee table, appetite completely gone, and glared as menacingly as he could at Loki who was grinning down at him. Tony stood, as straight and tall as he could.

"If you harm one h..." He trailed off as movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He could see the door from here. Outside was Pepper, talking on her cell phone and pacing back and forth on the concrete. Safe. With not a mark on her white dress.

Tony whipped around again to face Loki. If not her then who has he kidnapped? he thought. Some poor innocent he imagined. Someone he would have to go and rescue. "Show me," he commanded.

"Very well," said Loki, the smugness in his voice increasing. The camera wobbled before it panned a little off to Loki's left.

And the relief that flowed through Tony had him wanting to collapse backwards onto the sofa with giddiness. He couldn't stop himself; he burst out laughing. Through the tears streaming down his face he caught a glimpse of Pepper giving him a funny look through the glass door. Which made Tony laugh all the harder.

"What is so funny?" Loki asked him, frowning into the camera. That wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting or hoping for. He glanced behind him to check on the half full pepper shaker on the table behind him. He didn't trust it one bit. He'd been shouting at it earlier and it had made him sneeze. But it had remained silent. Torture methods seemed useless on it.

It took a minute or so for Tony to find the words to speak with. "I... I'm very... very upset. Really." He had to stop then to hold back giggles. Loki narrowed his eyes.

"You Midgardians are strange," he said slowly. "I will hold Pepper for as long as it is of use to me. If you want Pepper back you may come and fight me for it." Tony was still laughing so hard he could barely breathe, so Loki just disconnected the video call as menacingly as he could.

Pepper hung up the phone and came over to Tony who had finally collapsed onto the sofa. "What's going on?" She was confused, but she automatically smiled when Tony looked at her.

Tony took a deep breath so he could speak. "I'll tell you over lunch. Spaghetti sound good?"

Author's Note: First Avengers fic! Whoo! :) Dedicated to tonilouise95 as a late birthday present!