The Count slid down in his bathtub, letting the rosy pink bubbles engulf his body. At long last, he was all alone. Now's my time to relax, he thought blissfully.
Suddenly a loud tapping sounded at the door. "Count?" a small voice called in.
Oh no! The Count stumbled out of the tub and quickly threw on his white bathrobe. He opened the door a crack and peeked out. There stood Nastasia, peering at him through her glasses.
The Count sighed. "What is it, Nastasia? Count Bleck was in the middle of bathing."
The little secretary looked slightly embarrassed. "Er—I just wanted to tell you that there's a…visitor. Perhaps you should come downstairs and meet her."
"All right. Count Bleck will come as soon as he gets dressed."
Nastasia nodded briskly and scurried away.
…
Five minutes later, the Count appeared in the front hallway of his castle. Only Nastasia was there, bending over something.
The Count looked around, puzzled. "Where is the visitor?"
"Here she is." Nastasia held up a tiny, fluffy orange kitten. She mewed pitifully and struggled to escape.
"A cat," the Count remarked. "Where did you find it?"
"She was roaming around in the front yard. She looked so…scared. I thought we could let her stay in the castle for a while."
The Count nodded. "That is fine. How do you know it's a girl?"
"I checked."
"Ah. I see."
The kitten yowled and chomped down on Nastasia's arm.
"Ouch!" Nastasia cried. The kitten fell to the floor and landed on her feet. Disgruntled, she began to groom her fur.
"Are you all right, Nastasia?" the Count asked.
"I'm fine." The secretary adjusted her glasses. "Shall we call in the others?"
"Right." The Count waved his scepter. Dimentio and Mimi blipped into appearance, and O'Chunks stumbled into the room.
"What do we have here?" Dimentio wondered, eyeing the cat.
Mimi squealed. "Oh, my Grambi! You got us a kitten!" She immediately ran to hug the kitten, who launched herself away from the girl's grasp.
"What's a kit'n?" O'Chunks asked.
Dimentio bent down next to the girl and stroked the cat's fur. "Her mane is as soft as exotic silk in an upscale shopping center," he mused.
"What will we call her?" Nastasia asked.
The Count smiled. "Count Bleck will let you all decide."
"Nastasia Junior!" O'Chunks called out proudly.
Nastasia blushed and studied her hands.
"Ahem, what's wrong with Dimentio Junior?" the jester scoffed.
"That's a boy's name, doofus!" Mimi yelled. "Anyway, we're not naming the kitten after anyone else. Let's give her an original name."
"How 'bout Rosie?" O'Chunks suggested.
"That seems like a good name," Count Bleck said.
"Yes, but why don't we call her something mysterious?" Dimentio argued. "I think that if we're going to make her a new minion, she deserves an exciting name."
"Puffball Megawhisker!" Mimi cried.
"NO!" the men shouted.
"Actually," Nastasia said meekly, "we could shorten that to Whisk…"
The others thought for a moment. "Whisk…" they mumbled.
"That sounds right," O'Chunks decided.
Mimi and Dimentio nodded in agreement.
"Then it's settled," the Count announced. "Welcome to our family, Whisk!"
Whisk simply rolled onto her back and displayed her fluffy belly.
…
The villains had a difficult time learning how to take care of a cat. Nastasia ran out and purchased as many kitten-training manuals she could find. She also brought home three bags of cat food, a scratching post, and a catnip mouse.
After Whisk had eaten, the Count called all the minions into the meeting hall. Mimi placed Whisk onto her very own platform.
"All right, everyone," Count Bleck began. "As you can see, we have a new minion to help us with our evil plans, and—"
Whisk jumped down from the platform and trotted idly out the door.
"Whisk!" Nastasia snapped. "That's very rude. You can't leave while the Count is talking."
"I'll get her," Dimentio sighed. He disappeared and reappeared before the kitten. Her eyes widened in fear and her fur bristled.
"Come now, kitty," the jester cooed. Whisk hissed and scampered in the other direction.
O'Chunks landed in front of her. "Yeh shouldn't 'ave diss'r'spected the Count, lass." He reached out to grab her, and in return received a swipe to the face. The brute had a large cut on his cheek.
"Stop it, guys!" Mimi wailed. "If you're nice to her, she won't hurt you." She kneeled down and extended her hand to Whisk, who stepped tentatively toward it.
"O'Chunks, do you need a bandage?" Nastasia asked.
"Yes'm."
Nastasia took a Band-Aid from her pocket and applied it to O'Chunks's face.
"My, my," Count Bleck said. "Whisk sure is a frisky one."
"She's a cat!" Mimi cried. "She can't help it!"
Whisk bumped her head affectionately against Mimi's knee.
"See?" the girl said. "I told you she can be nice!"
"Yes, Mimi, but we must train her to become one of us. She will still be a cat, but also a very good fighter."
"With manners," Nastasia added.
"Hmph!" Mimi sniffed, kissing Whisk on the head.
…
In between training sessions, Whisk let her curiosity take hold of her. She explored the castle, dropping in on the minions at random times.
Whisk loved Mimi the most. Mimi, using her shapeshifting skills, would transform herself into a cat, so that she could play just like Whisk. Often the other minions would be boggled to see two kittens, until one of them started laughing. They both adored the catnip mouse and would tear it up in a kitty frenzy.
O'Chunks was still cautious around Whisk, and vice versa. They both knew that things could go very wrong in a matter of seconds. But one day, as O'Chunks was lying on his back in bed, Whisk hopped onto his chest and began purring. O'Chunks absentmindedly scratched her behind the ears, causing the purrs to increase in volume. From that day on, it became Whisk's routine to spend time with O'Chunks every evening.
Dimentio was unsure how to bond with a kitten. One afternoon, he was practicing magic in his bedroom. Whisk came in and saw the sparkly lights, and she immediately became enchanted. Her pupils swelled so that her eyes looked like two black holes. The magician chuckled and created more light. After a while, though, Whisk became bored and licked her paws. Dimentio walked to her and petted her head. Whisk heard the jingling of the bells on his hat and grabbed at one with her claws. Dimentio laughed and watched as the cat attacked the bells.
Nastasia was very fond of Whisk, though she didn't show it much. She tried to get her to have a polite conversation. Unfortunately, whenever Nastasia asked how Whisk's day was going, the kitten would just cock her head to the side. Sometimes, whenever Nastasia was working at her desk, Whisk walked all over her papers. The secretary promptly removed the cat, as she didn't want her "grubby little paws" on her writing.
As for the Count, he became very attached to the kitty. Whenever he sat in his armchair by the fireplace at night, Whisk would jump in his lap and begin purring. The Count would stroke her and talk to her about all his troubles, though he knew she could never understand him.
Unless…he could teach her to speak…
First, though, he had to show her how to fight. The training sessions were slow at first, but after a week and a half Whisk nearly destroyed the "hero dummy"—a scratching post that was animated by Dimentio's magic and slightly resembled Mario—and was rewarded by Count Bleck with loads of belly rubs. The purrs that followed were almost deafening.
It was hard to believe, but the villains of Castle Bleck had grown to love this furry animal.
Ah, yes, if only good things could last…
…
Mimi, in her cat form, was chasing Whisk around the castle. They were both on a catnip-high and extremely hyper. Carefully, Mimi avoided collision. At last she skidded to a halt. "Okay, Whisk, I think we should stop," she said.
But Whisk would not stop. Instead, she sprinted from room to room, knocking over pedestals. She almost brought down a lit torch, but thankfully Mimi caught it just in time.
"Whi-isk!" Mimi (now herself again) cooed in hopes that the kitten would settle down.
Unfortunately, Whisk would not listen. On and on she tore through the halls, heading toward the bedroom chambers.
"Whisk, no!" Mimi called, running after her.
The kitty careened directly into the Count's bedroom. She mauled his curtains, ripped his bed linens, scratched his floors, and destroyed a stack of papers on his desk. Furthermore, she broke several prized knick-knacks and even the bust of his great-grandfather.
Mimi screamed and tried to catch Whisk, to no avail. When she did grab her, the cat dug her claws into Mimi's arm. The girl cried out in shock. Whisk would never act this savagely.
Dimentio blipped into the room. "Mimi, what—" He froze and stared at the Count's trashed bedroom.
Mimi was still trying to calm Whisk down. Dimentio snapped his fingers, and the kitten relaxed and curled up, purring serenely as if nothing had happened at all.
Nastasia hurried into the room. "What's going on in here? I heard someone screaming!"
She, too, gaped at the catastrophe. "Oh, my Grambi…" she whispered.
Mimi sank to her knees. "Please don't tell the Count!" she begged.
Nastasia shook her head. "Mimi, this…this is unacceptable."
"But—"
"The Count is going to throw a fit when he sees this."
Mimi absentmindedly scratched Whisk behind the ears.
"I don't think I've ever seen such destruction," Dimentio remarked. "All because of a cat!"
Nastasia sighed. "I'll have to notify the Count. You two realize that this may not end well."
"I am aware," Dimentio said, nodding. "Let's just hope for the best, shall we?"
Nastasia shook her head again. "I doubt it'll work."
Promptly she left the room, taking one last look. Dimentio followed her.
Mimi remained, staring at the mess. "Oh, Whisk," she finally whispered. "What have you done?"
…
The next day, Nastasia called everyone, including Whisk, into the meeting hall. The minions noticed that the Count was absent from his place. Nastasia appeared to be trembling.
"Where's th' Count?" O'Chunks asked.
Nastasia swallowed. "He couldn't come. He…wanted me to break the news to you."
"News? What news?" Dimentio wondered.
Nastasia took a deep breath and lowered her head. A hush fell upon the room. Finally, after what seemed like years, Mimi broke the silence.
"Nassy…can you tell us?"
The secretary's glasses fogged up. Quickly, she cleaned them on her shirt and placed them back over her eyes. At last she whispered, "We can't keep Whisk. We'll have to give her away."
The minions let it sink in. Whisk simply groomed her tail, unaware of the situation.
"But…but why?" Mimi whimpered.
"You know what she did, Mimi. She went too far. Like I said, this is just unacceptable."
"That's just what the Count says!" Mimi shot back, tears cascading onto her dress. "Why can't we just train her?"
"Mimi, the Count can't have her tearing up everything. He wants her out. I…I'm sorry, Mimi." Nastasia faced everyone. "I'm sorry, guys."
Whisk rubbed against Mimi's legs. Mimi picked the cat up and ran to her bedroom, sobbing.
"Isn't there something else we can do?" Dimentio asked.
"Count's orders."
Dimentio shook his head in disbelief.
O'Chunks suddenly charged toward the wall. With a heart-stopping yell of anguish, he let his fist fly into the surface, leaving a nasty dent.
Nastasia and Dimentio stared at him.
O'Chunks cleared his throat. "Sorry. Ah'm jus' upsettin', is all." He, too, exited the room.
Nastasia lowered her head again in shame. "Oh, Grambi…what are we going to do?"
"We?" Dimentio said quietly. "Why don't you talk it out with the wonderful Count about it?"
The secretary looked at the magician in shock. "It's not my fault, okay? I never wanted this to happen!"
"Then why don't you say something?" Dimentio snarled. "Why must all of us worship everything the Count says?"
"You're scaring me, Dimentio. You never lose your temper like this."
Dimentio rose up into the air. His glowing eyes were poisonous slits. "Let's keep the chit-chat centered around the cat, shall we?"
"You're the one going on and on about the Count!" Nastasia cried. Her voice cracked, and she blushed in embarrassment.
"Well, think about the rest of us before you get rid of one of the only things we can love." The jester nodded to the dent O'Chunks had made. "Ciao," he added coldly before vanishing.
Nastasia, now having successfully pissed off three people, experienced her own breakdown. She lay on the floor of the meeting hall and wept herself to sleep.
…
Two days later, the Bleck family waited miserably in the front hallway. Nastasia had woken up four hours after her emotional breakdown and returned to normal, hoping nobody had seen her.
All anger and hatred was gone. In its place was a heavy sadness that just wouldn't go away.
Each minion got a little more playtime with Whisk before her new owner came to get her. Mimi half-laughed, half-cried. The whole situation was bittersweet.
The Count took the kitten into his lap and stroked her. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I love you, but you're just too destructive for me."
Whisk mewed as if she understood.
Everyone—even Dimentio—had tears in their eyes. It was a very hard time for everyone,.
After a while longer, the dreaded doorbell rang. Nastasia slowly trudged to open it.
In the doorway stood a monstrous green chameleon with a yellow graphic T-shirt and big hipster glasses.
Nastasia cleared her throat. "You're Francis, I assume?"
"Heck yeah! I'm here for my new kitten."
"Come right this way." The secretary slowly led Francis to where the others sat.
The Count stood up and shook Francis's scaly hand. "This is Count Bleck," he introduced himself.
"Your cape's so hi-technical, dude!" Francis replied. He spotted Whisk in Mimi's arms. "Hey, there she is!"
Mimi forced a smile and reluctantly held the kitten out to the chameleon.
"Thanks, kid." Francis rubbed his face against her silky fur. "Schweet!" he exclaimed.
Whisk looked at Mimi and meowed pitifully, like she had when Nastasia first held her.
"Do you promise to take good care of her?" Count Bleck asked.
Francis nodded. "Little Francesca here will get luxury treatment twenty-four-seven."
"Good. We will be visiting your house once every month to check on her."
Mimi gasped. "Really?" she cried. "Oh, thank you!" She ran to hug the Count.
O'Chunks smiled between sobs. "Oi, we ain't gonna be sep'rated forever after all!"
Everyone said their goodbyes to Whisk, who was now very comfortable in Francis's arms. When Dimentio went to pet her, she grabbed his hat, causing everybody to laugh.
"C'mon, Francesca," the chameleon cooed, heading out the door. "I've got a perfect design for a security system based on you. I call it the SecuriMeow!"
The Bleck family bid farewell to Whisk as she and Francis disappeared down the castle walkway.
"We'll be seeing you in a month, Whisk!" Mimi called.
Whisk looked back at the castle one last time and meowed happily.