So dear readers I haven't updated anything, in forever! I am so eternally sorry. The explanation for this one-shot will be found at the bottom of this post, but be assured that at least 3 of my other stories are half way finished, it's just slow for me right now with all the….angst going on in my life.
Until then enjoy this random little snippet of life.
Summary: So living in the mafia is difficult, but Tsuna and his friends are discovering that being a girl in the mafia is probably worse, so now they're doing their little duty to pick up some hygiene products for their female friends; except it's a little more difficult than they thought it would be. Challenge!Fic from SkyGem. Non Pairing.
Sync'd up.
"We don't care! Go get them!"
"B-B-but girls!"
"No! We're in pain, and I swear you boys are so useless! Go get our fucking products and don't come home 'til you have, Tsu-kun!"
"B-bitch! you can't kick Juudaime out of his own underground base!"
"We just did, Bossu we need them, and you're not doing anything."
"Don't be so nice to these idiots, Chrome-chan. They can go do this simple job, and we can go back to watching our movies."
With that the doors hissed shut and left Tsuna, Gokudera, and Yamamoto staring at the steel with unease in their guts and a sigh on their tongues. At eighteen the boys really had developed a strong bond with the girls; so much so that apparently they felt it their right to kick the boys –Tsuna specifically out of his own base –to run errands.
"Maa, we don't have much choice I guess." Yamamoto laughed, sword on his back. The girls had at least let them grab their weapons before promptly throwing them from the kitchen where they had been snacking.
"Tch, they have no right." Gokudera fumed, rolling gum along his tongue in place of the cigarette he had given up years ago. He had his Sistema CAI strapped to his hips, and he made a quick check that he had the newest box there for Tsuna's extra pills; an addition he made quickly after the Arcobaleno debacle.
Tsuna was quiet for a moment with crossed arms before a delicate blush lit his cheeks and his two guardians turned to question him. "Do….either of you know exactly which products the girls want?"
"Well…I'd say period products." Yamamoto chuckled despite the blush suddenly appearing on all three of their faces. "I mean, how many of them could there be right?"
Unfortunately for the older teens, there were a lot of different products. All their boxes were distractingly bright, and filled up almost an entire isle in the largest supermarket in the underground base's area. All three of the boys just stood and stared at the boxes and bags, trying and failing to keep composed.
But it was difficult, especially when people passed by and giggled at their confused faces. All three of them were wearing their casual meeting clothes since that is where they had come from before going to the kitchen; that is to say coloured dress shirts and ties with pressed pants and polished shoes. Gokudera had a thin, open blazer and Tsuna wore a waist coat. So they were wearing casual for the Mafia and by Reborn's ideal standards. They rarely wore jeans anymore and dress shoes (the ones specially made for them) had become something almost more comfortable than their worn sneakers back at base. Almost.
"Ahh," Yamamoto began, "I guess there are more products than we thought."
"You think, Yakyuu-baka!" Gokudera fumed, and the pair of guardians began arguing and battling as Tsuna just scanned the items, completely lost. He tried to remember any times his young self stumbled upon his mother's products, but his embarrassed mind couldn't think of a single instance that would help him here.
There was that telltale shiver down his spine that had Tsuna turning to stare at a figure at the end of the isle, but Tsuna blanched when he saw Mukuro stroll around the corner, music in his ears and a sigh on his breathe, but then the heterochromatic eyed boy looked up and smirked. "Kufufufu, oh my, why are you and your gaggle of misfits here, Sawada Tsunayoshi?"
"M-Mukuro!" Tsuna choked out, looking anywhere but at Mukuro. "When did you get back from Okinawa? I thought you and Fran were doing some train-"
"What are you doing here?" Gokudera spat as he interrupted Tsuna, watching the mismatched eyed man smirk made his stomach twist.
"My dear Nagi asked me if I could pick something up for her when you bafoons didn't come home." he chuckled; sickly satisfied by the blushes on the three teens faces. "Oh you stupid boys." Mukuro sighed.
He passed Tsuna and reached over the shorter –but not as short as when he was fourteen –boy sighing when he could only find the smaller of the variety that Chrome had asked for, so he picked up two.
"Now, Sawada Tsunayoshi, as much as I'd love to watch you and your mutts flail I must be getting back to Nagi. I have other things to do though her need is greater than mine."
Just as he turned Tsuna grabbed Mukuro's arm, the illusionists eyes widening in intrigue and surprise. "How do you know which ones to get? Do the other girls use those too?"
"Kufufufu, poor, naive Tsunayoshi." Mukuro chuckled, grinning when Tsuna shivered. "I've been with dear Nagi since before she started menstruating; if you think I let her fend for herself your sorely mistaken. As mistaken as you are if you think I'm going to help you. It's entertaining to watch you struggle like this."
He pulled gently away from Tsuna and Gokudera roared. "Bastard! Juudaime asked for you help! You're his guardian you're supposed to help him!"
"Oh contraire, I am only here to possess Tsunayoshi."
"Bas-"
"It's not like we have to worry anyway, since Mukuro's got enough for all three girls." Yamamoto placated, except Mukuro started cackling.
" Kufufufu, how wrong you are. These are just enough for a while. Chrome needed some immediately but she and the girls did mention something about reminding you buffoons to hurry up with more of their products. Or else something was sure to happen to the man hood y'all are so proud of." with that the illusionist put the boxes in his basket –filled with magazines, chocolate, and an assortment of Mukuro's own shampoos and washes –and strolled away. Completely satisfied with the tendril of dread he could almost taste coming off the three younger teens.
"D-Do we chose those ones?" Tsuna asked in a hush, but both Yamamoto and Gokudera were looking pale and confused, they eyed the bright green boxes that Mukuro had chosen from warily.
It was Gokudera that picked the box up and started reading it, eyes widening as he understood the biology of it, he picked another box, and another, reading and reading until his eyes were shot and his face bright red.
"…..I don't understand."
"Goku?"
"There are so many of the SAME THING!"
Tsuna wanted to scream, and he did when a blonde blur shot past him with the intent of grabbing off the shelf right in front of the three boys. "Move out of the fucking way, Kora!"
"Heeeeiiiiiiiii! C-colonello!"
"I said move!"
"Teme! What are you doing?" Gokudera had bombs out immediately, being shoved by the older male was an immediate insult to Juudaime and the right-hand was having none of it.
"Get out of the way! Do you know how much Lal will slaughter me if I get the wrong ones, and don't get back soon!?"
Everyone was quiet again while Colonello's blue eyes scanned the bright products. Yamamoto looked at the blonde before asking with a laugh. "You're here for Lal like we're here for the girls, mind giving us a hand?"
Colonello looked like he was going to ignore the boy as his eyes kept scanning in near desperation. "D'ya think I got time for that. Your girlies aren't half as deadly as Lal, Kora. They can wait a while, Lal will castrate me." his cussed under his breath slightly. "I don't see Lal's brand!"
"Heeeeiiii! There's more than just these?"
"Course there is. Fuck it. I need to go to the other store!" With that Colonello was sprinting away, leaving the three old-teens standing in the isle completely dumbfounded as to what exactly they were supposed to do.
"Just grab one, Juudaime! If those girls get angry they should have given us more instruct- gak! Aniki!" and with that Gokudera hit the floor with a frothing mouth and a Heeeiiiing Tsuna, Yamamoto just chuckling and waving Bianchi off as the red-haired woman strolled off as soon as she appeared.
Tsuna reached for two boxes, blushing slightly as he turned them around. One was a tampon box, and the other was a pad box that Mukuro had picked up that was right next to it. "Kyoko and Haru can't use anything too different from Chrome….can they?"
Yamamoto just shrugged; he had neither a mother, sister, nor female friends beside Chrome, Kyoko and Haru so he had no idea. Gokudera's eyes were still rolling in his head, since his sister had passed by and grabbed a box –yet another different box –with a malicious grin right in Gokudera's face before strolling off.
"Maybe we should grab a bunch of different ones?" the base ball player suggested brightly, still unsure exactly what all the others were so worried about; Colonello actually looked worried for his life.
That is when the god sent swaggered around the corner.
Lussuria.
The older man spied the flailing teens –who were currently pulling Gokudera to his feet and trying to get him to regain his mind -and grinned, a hand over his mouth and a giggle on his lips. "Ora, what are you three doing here?" Of course the fighter could guess, but it was polite to ask, and jumping to conclusions was always a bad idea with the three teens.
"C-Chrome, Kyoko, and Haru sent us to pick up….some things."
It was more embarrassing to explain it to the flamboyant –currently blue haired man –than Tsuna thought. Especially when the man giggled again and started looking over the products in his hands.
"Oh boy, don't buy those. If those wonderful girls are sending you out, they must need these."
Lussuria proceeded to hand various boxes to the boys. Some were larger than others, and in various colours. One was a large box of tampons, and another was 'overnight' pads, and there were others. As the basket grew more filled Tsuna sighed in relief. Suddenly someone was helping them.
Of course, his relief was short lived because Lussuria also sat an explained what each one did, and why, for those girl in particular, the 'extra absorbent' weren't exactly what they were looking for. It was mortifying, but all three boys listened avidly, blushing and spluttering questions they probably didn't want answered.
Lussuria sighed mournfully when he realised how little these poor virgins knew. He made a note to perhaps talk about starting a 'sex ed' class for the younger famiglia members; because really these silly boys would have no idea what to do when they finally settled down –if that was with women, or if they had girls in the future.
"H-How do you know all this?" Gokudera asked, mortified by what he was learning and that he hadn't known any of it, especially after mentoring under the perverse doctor, who as a lover of women, Gokudera assumed would know all of this and more.
"Oh my. Well, the girls come to me for a lot of advice; after all I'm your Luss-nee for a reason." the man winked and even Yamamoto looked a little floored.
"W-Well thank you, Luss-nee," Tsuna cringed just slightly because the man swished happily at the honorific, "we're lucky you were passing by."
"Ora, well Viper-chan sent me with money to pick her up some products. The poor dear is suffering after suddenly being released from the curse; as is Lal. Poor dears."
Silence descended in the three teenage boys again as they regarded each other. "….Is….is it really so bad that Viper would send you with money?" Yamamoto's voice was whispered, because Viper never parted with money….ever!
"Well, it is rather painful, and given how quickly they're growing Lal and Viper's hormones are all over the place. So they have it particularly bad; but your dear girls are young too, so they haven't settled yet either." Luss explained with a smile, one hand on his hip.
"What I don't understand is why we've seen so many Vongola men buying this stupid crap." Gokudera finally huffed when the small group –of four now –started strolling towards the check-out. Apparently Luss had finished his other shopping and was now ready to head home to the expectant Viper.
Of course, the boys weren't exactly prepared for Lussuria's completely unbridled laughter. Or the need for him to lean on the fridge full of pop next to the check-out.
"You three have a lot to learn." When they all looked at the rooster-haired man expectantly he laughed harder. "Girls will sometimes 'sync' when they spend a lot of time together, since their hormones affect each other's. And since you and some of the Arcobaleno live together under the same roof, and Lal and Viper see each other all the time it isn't surprising that everyone's synced."
"What exactly….do you mean by synced?" Tsuna hedged.
Lussuria managed to get his answer out just as his items were scanned through the machine. "Their periods match up and come at the same time, and usually end at the same time. It can be rather stressful, and since your living arrangements aren't changing anytime soon I wish you luck boys." Lussuria paid winked at the adorable man on checkout before blowing a kiss at the three mortified teens. "Bai bai lovelies, give the girls my regards and remind them about our cake day on Saturday~"
"T-this is going to happen more often?" Tsuna moaned as the man in cash scanned their items with boredom. Tsuna hoped he wouldn't be so helplessly embarrassed about all this one day.
"I don't doubt Lussuria." Gokudera agreed, "I mean, that flamboyant idiot knows more about girls than I think most girls do."
Yamamoto took the bag from the end of the checkout and thanked the man as Tsuna paid with his Vongola credit-card. "Maa maa, even if it does, we have to get used to it."
"Yeah….I just really hope Lussuria was right, cause Colonello looked completely terrified."
Gokudera and Yamamoto stopped at Tsuna's words before looking into the bag of feminine products. "Maybe we should have gotten more?"
Hello my dear, dear readers. Perhaps this deserves an explanation. SkyGem had this brilliant idea to set myself, and a bunch of other authors the challenge of writing 'period/period products' one shots about our adorable KHR boys going out to buy their female counterparts their much needed hygiene products, and this is my response to that.
On the same level, we decided that talking about periods shouldn't be so taboo, so this is our start to that revolution.
Hope you enjoyed the crack-ness! I am so rusty in my writing, I need to get back to my KHR fics, since this is so badly characterised.
Your reviews are appreciated.
~~Bleach-ed Na-tsu :3