Summary: Saya's feelings on her chiropteran heritage. Based on the song "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park.
Somewhere I Belong
Saya sat on the balcony. She didn't want to be among Kai and the others. After all…she wasn't human.
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Ever since she found out that she was a chiropteran all she wanted was to feel normal. But she couldn't just erase who she truly was inside…a monster that the humans feared.
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
Saya knew that she wasn't a monster like many of the chiropterans that roamed the world. But that didn't stop the gnawing feel of guilt ever time someone died at a chiropteran's hand.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
Saya wanted to feel normal…like she had before she found out who she really was…WHAT she really was.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
She wanted to be like Kai and Riku. It would be a blessing for her to be able to not heal as quickly as she did…to actually be able to get sick…to not have to have blood transfusions everyday for as long as she lived.
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
She had always dreamed of traveling the world. But she had never wanted to travel it just to slay chiropterans…she wanted to travel the world to see the beauty of it.
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify way everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
She also couldn't deal with the looks everyone gave her now. Most of the Red Shield operatives gave her wary looks whenever they passed her…like they expected her to attack them or something.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
She wanted the aches in her heart to go away. If she were human her father wouldn't have been attacked…wouldn't have died. If she were human all those people in Vietnam wouldn't have died.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
At the zoo with Joel she had truly believed she was human. But as Hagi grew up and she remained unchanged she became worried. She had truly thought it was some fault of her own…her unchanging appearance.
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
She still didn't understand it. Why did she have to be different from everyone else? What curse was placed on her to make her as she was?
I will never be
Anything till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today
She truly wanted to age…not just stand idly by and let time pass her untouched. She wanted to get older like Kai and Riku…not just mentally older.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
The curse of her life allowed her to witness only death. As time went on she knew her loved ones would die and wither away throughout time.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
She didn't belong in this world with the humans. She may have been raised as one but that didn't mean she was one herself.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
Tears slipped silently down Saya's face as she reveled in the truth of her heritage. She felt someone come up behind her and wrap their arms around her. She recognized the touch as her faithful chevalier Hagi. "Just because you and I are not human doesn't mean we don't belong with them. We fight chiropterans to protect them…we walk alongside them everyday. Saya, you and I are more human than anyone esle here," Hagi said as he hugged her, trying to soothe her sadness. Saya smiled and wiped her tears away. "You're right Hagi. Just because I'm not a human physically, doesn't mean I'm not a human underneath," Saya said. She and Hagi gazed at the stars overhead, enjoying yet another beautiful night in their lives.
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