Ok people, so this is what happens when you spend three hours a day sitting in a bus reading the Harry Potter novels over and over and try to write a serious fanfic. You get a crazy, hilarious fanfic about Harry and the gang stuck on a muggle bus. Inspiration is a funny thing indeed.

"Hurry up!", Harry shouted while running through Edinburgh's streets, followed closely by Hermione and Ron, who were carrying large plastic bags, full of souvenirs from the Edinburgh shops. Ginny was just behind them, with an ice cream in her hands. She stopped every ten meters to lick.

"Don't let them leave without me!", Neville shouted in fear, running meters behind.

"I… Don't… Think… They'll… Leave!", Hermione said gasping for air. "But… we are… in a lot… of trouble!"

"Don't waist your breath!", Ron shouted. "Hurry up instead!"

The fact was that Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Neville were late to catch their portkey. It was just a minute to five and they were due at the portkey at five 'o clock. This was in fact Ginny's fault, because she had wanted to buy an ice cream before they left, but it had taken her ten minutes to make up if she wanted strawberry and chocolate. In the end, she had chosen to get both, because she had to get rid of the muggle money.

Professor McGonagoll and Snape, the chaperones of the party, wouldn't be too glad about their timing. The kids knew points would be taken from Gryffindor.

"Almost there!", Harry shouted loudly while turning in a dark abandoned alley, the meeting point to take the portkey. With a last glimpse, he saw the large group of Hogwarts students disappear. He stopped immediately.

"O no…", Harry in shock.

Ron and Hermione bumped into Harry when they turned the corner.

"Are they gone?!", Ron asked terrified.

Harry nodded. Ginny and Neville turned around the corner too. Neville was totally out of breath and you could hear a loud peeping sound every time he breathed out. Ginny stopped next to him and continued licking her chocolate-strawberry ice cream.

"Oh no oh no oh no!", Hermione squealed. "What are we going to do?! We'll get a 1000 points taken from Gryffindor for this!"

"Nonsense.", Harry said, trying hard to remain calm. "We don't even have a 1000 points. So they can't take that away from us…"

"I can't believe they left without us!", Ron cried out. "What did McGonagoll expect? That we'ld just … I don't know… DISAPPARATE our way back to Hogwarts?! We're totally lost! Didn't she notice we weren't there? Were her glasses malfunctioning or what?!"

Neville looked as if he could burst into tears any minute.

"I'll definitely get a howler for this!", he whined.

Ginny was still licking her ice cream.

"It's all your fault!", Ron shouted to his younger sister. "You and your stupid ice cream!"

Ginny didn't look bothered at all, in fact, she looked rather amused at the sight of her brother getting as red as a tomato and swelling up like a bag of popcorn on the surface of the sun.

"This doesn't make sense…", Hermione muttered. "They would never leave students behind in a muggle city…"

Harry nodded.

"You're right. McGonagoll would never leave if she knew that…"

Harry suddenly stopped. He and Hermione looked at each other with wide eyes.

"McGonagoll didn't know!", Harry said slowly.

"But Snape did!", Hermione added.

Neville shivered. He always had that reaction when he heard Snape's name. Snape was everybody's least favourite teacher, but Neville was more scared of Snape then anyone else.

Ginny was still licking her ice cream.

"Do you think he didn't tell McGonagoll about us? Like, on purpose?!", Ron asked furiously.

Harry, Ron and Hermione exchanged quiet looks.

"The bastard!", Ron shouted and he continued swearing.

Neville was really crying now. Ginny was still licking her ice cream.

"Ron!", Hermione hissed shocked when Ron started calling Snape things Hermione had never heard before.

"Well he is!", Ron breath angrily to her. "What kind of teacher would leave a bunch of students alone in one of the biggest cities of England? He is a mean, ugly, sadistic, no-good, retarded man that is…"

"…Standing right behind you."

Ron's face turned as pale as Moaning Myrtle's always was. If possible even paler. That icy calm voice came from right behind him. Ron looked at Harry and Hermione, who were gazing open-mouthed at the person standing behind. Ron slowly turned around untill he found himself face to face with Slytherin's headmaster. Snape's eyes were as cold as ever and Ron could almost feel an arctic breeze rushing through his blood.

"Evening professor…", Ron stuttered nervously, looking up at Snape.

"Evening mister Weasley.", Snape responded with a very sadistic undertone in his voice.

Ron wanted to say something to defend himself against the bat-like professor, but decided to shut his mouth before he would get himself into even more trouble.

"Professor, it's not very polite to eavesdrop on…", Hermione started with a high and nervous voice.

"I was not eavesdropping, miss Granger.", Snape interrupted her in his coldest and deepest voice. "I was merely observing."

The four kids trembled as they watched their potions teacher slowly fold his arms and walk even closer to them. Ginny however was still licking her ice cream and didn't seem impressed at all.

"As I was observing you all, I noted that none of you can really remain his cool in a tough unexpected situation…"

"That's not true!", Hermione quickly interrupted, but she stopped as soon as her eyes met Snape's, whose seemed to be shooting icebolts.

"As I was just saying: none of you, not even the brilliant mister Potter…"

Snape's eyes glittered satisfied when he looked at his foe, barely able to defend himself.

"… managed to think reasonably to come up with a solution. Points will be taken from Gryffindor for that, too. Oh, and did I mention? McGonagoll already took a hundred points from Gryffindor when she found out you weren't here."

"A hundred?", Neville gasped in terror.

Snape seemed to enjoy rubbing it in their faces and smiled.

"A hundred points. And more will follow if and when you return. It's a shame you won't get expelled."

They all lowered their heads, feeling ashamed that it was their fault that Gryffindor had lost so many points. Well, all but Ginny did, she was still licking her ice cream.

"What are you smiling about?", Snape snapped when he saw Ginny, who didn't seem to worry at all about the 100 points that had been taken from Gryffindor or about the fact that they were stuck in a muggle city with their least favourite teacher.

Ginny looked into Snape's eyes and the optimistic, cheerful look there was in hers confused Snape.

"What's so funny?", he yelled in her face.

Ginny grinned quietly and pointed at a large can of garbage that was next to Neville. Even Harry, Ron and Hermione didn't know what she was grinning about.

Snape slowly walked toward the large garbage box.

"Creevey!", he shouted. "What are you still doing here?"

Colin Creevey appeared from behind the garbage and smiled widely at Ginny. In one hand, he held his camera and in the other, he held a bag with souvenirs he had bought.

"I was waiting for Harry sir!", he answered enthusiastically.

Snape looked angry with him. As if he didn't hate Harry's personal fanclub enough, this lad was happy he could tell Snape about it. Snape sighed deeply and closed his eyes, thinking.

Ginny quickly turned to Colin.

"Did you get it on tape?", she whispered so quietly Snape couldn't hear.

Colin smiled widely. Ginny smiled too and continued licking her ice cream, even happier then before.

"And when will you finish that bloody ice cream?!", Snape snapped furiously.

As the writer of this fanfic suddenly realised that Ginny had been licking that ice cream for a longer time then it usually takes to finish one, the ice cream disappeared with a purple flash and Ginny was left alone and totally un-iced.

"Better.", Snape sighed. "Thank you!"

("You're welcome Severus!" * blink *)

"Alright. Let's go then."

Snape turned around, his always-so-dark-and-bat-like-cloaky-long-outfit waving around him and walked out of the alley, followed closely by the six Gryffindors.

"Where are we going to?", Hermione asked.

Snape sighed again, this time even more annoyed then before. He clearly hadn't volunteered to get the kids back to Hogwarts.

"To a bus station.", he answered coolly.

"A bus station?", Harry repeated.

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that, Potter?"

"No, it's just… Why not use… I don't know… Another portkey?"

"Because…", Snape said slowly, treating Harry like an idiot. "We. Just. Missed. THE LAST ONE!"

"Oh…", Harry said quietly and a bit ashamed.

Snape marched on through the streets, followed on his heels by Harry and the gang, who all stayed closely together and felt uneasy in the great muggle town. Ginny and Colin however, were giggling like a pair of schoolgirls, which should be an offence to Colin.

Harry noticed that they didn't blend in very well. He, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Colin did actually. They had been asked to wear muggle clothes on the trip. But Snape didn't. People were gazing at him on every street. Snape didn't seem to notice. He was probably still upset by the fact that he had to take care of the young Gryffindors.

Ron noticed as well that people were staring at Snape. He kept on smiling and grinning.

"What's so funny?", Hermione asked him in a whisper.

"I was just imagining Snape wearing muggle clothes."

Hermione looked at Snape for a second, who didn't notice a thing, and then started to grin too.

"Imagine him jeans.", Ron whispered.

"With a brown shirt and a cowboy hat!", Hermione added.

The others were listening too now.

"Or with a bow tie!", Colin said quickly.

They were all snickering. Fortunately Snape didn't notice.

"Or in a police uniform!", Harry said.

"No no no! A fire brigade uniform, with a helmet!", Ginny giggled.

"Snape with helmet hair! What an improvement!", Colin laughed as quiet as he could.

"Or Snape as a garbage man!", Neville said excited.

The five other kids immediately stopped snickering.

"Gross, Neville!", Hermione said shocked.

"Yes! That's just sick!", Harry whispered.

"Disgusting!", Ron added.

Shocked by the image of Snape as a dirty garbage man, the kids stopped their little game and walked on behind Snape without saying another word to eachother.

After walking for about an hour, they finally reached the bus station. It was getting dark outside, but the station was still crowded with muggles. There was a lot of music coming from the corners. All sorts of entertainers were trying to raise money. A group of young musicians were playing old muggle music. A mime was trapped in an invisible box. (Hermione had to assure Neville the man wasn't really stuck in a box, because he was on the verge of breaking down into tears again.) Ginny almost got separated from the group when she saw a man selling ice creams, but Ron had been able to stop her from walking toward the little stall. And in another corner of the room was what appeared to be an old Indian shaman playing a flute and enchanting a snake. The snake just lay in his basket, however. Harry looked at the animal with large eyes, but Snape, who didn't want Harry to show of with his parseltongue again, pulled Harry away with him.

There were some empty banks near the mime and Snape let the teens sit down.

"I'm going to ask for some information on the busses. In the meanwhile, you'll all stay here, unless you want to get expelled. Do I make myself clear?"

They all nodded and Snape sped of toward the info desk.

"I don't get it…", Hermione whispered "Where are we taking a bus to? Are we going to Hogwarts by bus? And why are we taking a muggle bus?"

"Yea! I once took the Knight Bus! We should be able to take it too!", Harry added.

"Or why not use Floo powder? There must be a dozen of wizards nearby that wouldn't mind letting us take it!", Ron said.

Colin took out the camera again and started filming. With a deeper voice then he usually spoke with, he started talking to the camera.

"We are caught in a muggle bus station. After missing our portkey, we were forced to find another way of transportation. Professor Snape had guided us here and is now asking for information. The reason why we couldn't just take the Knight Bus or use Floo Powder is still unclear. Ron, Weasley, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, the boy who lived, are discussing the matter."

Colin zoomed in on the trio, who was looking disturbed at Colin.

"Colin, what the hell are you doing?", Ron asked annoyed.

"Filming, what does it look like? Now, could you please ignore me and continue with your conversation? Just act as if I'm not here!"

"We always do. But why are you filming us?", Hermione asked. "Why did you wait for us anyways?"

Colin nervously looked around, seeing if Snape was still at the info desk, which he was. Then he looked at Ginny, who nodded a bit unsure.

"Well, it's kind of a funny story…", he started, rather unsure at the look of Harry an his loyal sidekicks look mad. "It were actually Fred and George who set us up to do this…"

"Us?", Hermione repeated.

"Colin and I", Ginny suddenly said. "Fred and George wanted us to pull a prank."

"A prank?", Ron asked.

"Yes.", Colin went on. "Fred and George asked us if we could help them by delaying the portkey."

"Why?", Harry asked confused.

"To film everything McGonagoll and Snape would do and say ofcourse! That was what Fred and George asked us to do! They wanted to see how the teachers would react if some students were late. And then they would have brought out the video amongst the students, in the hopes of making them laugh (and earning some money) and I'm sure it will! You should have seen McGonagoll's face when you guys wouldn't turn up. I have never ever seen her turn so purple! And Snape's reaction… Hilarious! When McGonagoll orders him to…"

"Hold it!", Harry said upset. "So Ginny didn't want the ice cream?!"

"That's silly.", Ginny laughed. "Ofcourse I wanted the ice cream! Ice cream's the best food in the world, but that's not of importance here. I just tried to stall time while Colin would tape the teachers. I didn't know they would actually leave without us!"

Hermione looked really pissed off. She was so mad she couldn't say a word at all.

"I'll tell mum about this!", Ron said shocked. "You truly are your brothers' sister! Fred and George must be extremely proud!"

"They will be when they see this video!", Colin interrupted. "Ron, when you're insulting Snape and he is standing right behind you, that's just bloody brilliant! It's worth an oscar!"

"A what?", Ron asked.

"Never mind…", Colin sighed.

Hermione, Ron and Harry were really mad at both Ginny and Colin. Neville was still very depressed and looked as if his toad had just died (which I assure you, it hadn't).

When Snape returned, he could feel the tense atmosphere. His news wouldn't make it any better.

"The next bus to London leaves in an hour.", he said coolly. "But we've got a little problem…"

The kids looked disturbed when they heard there was yet another problem.

"Since no one foresaw mister Creevey would stay behind too, we're a few pounds short…"

"You mean we can't pay?!", Hermione asked shocked.

"A brilliant observation, as always, miss Granger.", Snape responded ironically.

"Simple!", Ron shouted still feeling mad at Colin. "We'll just leave Colin and come back for him in… I don't know… Let's say… two weeks?"

"Weeks?", Colin repeated nervously.

"Oh I meant months."

Colin gulped.

"As appealing as that may sound, mister Weasley, every single one of you has to get back to Hogwarts under my supervision. And even though I wouldn't mind leaving Colin behind, I know headmaster Dumbledore would."

Ron sighed a bit disappointed.

"Well, I still got half a pound!", Harry interrupted.

Hermione started looking in her bag.

"I should have a couple of pence…"

"Me too!", Neville said.

They gathered all the money they had. It was exactly one pound.

"It's still not enough.", Snape said disturbed.

"Well atleast it's something!", Hermione snapped back. "You don't seem to come up with any other idea!"

Snape didn't respond. Hermione was right, after all. Harry looked around, and he was getting an idea.

"Maybe we could earn some money too…", he murmered.

"What do you mean?", Hermione asked.

"Well… Like them!", Harry said pointing at the other performers.

"O no, I'm not singing!", Ron quickly said.

"Nonsense. No one is going to sing!", Snape hissed. "We're not going to beg for money!"

"Well, what do you suggest then?", Harry asked Snape, looking firmly at him.

Snape couldn't think of anything else. But he wasn't going to beg for money!

"Very well…", he sighed. "You lead this mission then."

Harry smiled weakly and turned to the other Gryffindors.

"Time for some action."

Ok, that's it for this part. I've already finished the next part as well, but I still have to type it in. I will as soon as I get ten reviews! So, just click the grey button below, because that's what it's for! ;)

Wondering what will happen in the next part? Well, they will have to earn their money ofcourse! And after that, they'll get on the bus. What will they do to keep themselves from getting bored? It's gonna be a lot of fun, so watch out for even more hilarious scenes!