AN; This is a random thing I wrote last night, after having my heart broken by the lack of addek, and not even closure. God I was so fricking mad at Shonda! She doesn't deserve our sporks.. yeah anyway, this is just a sad oneshot, because I was upset, and I literally couldn't write happy addek. But happy addek shall come soon..
BTW; The bold italic font is a flashback.. the normal italic are song lyrics..
She slowly walked down the aisle, fixing her gaze on him, the man who gives her butterflies every time he looks at her, the man who has always loved her, and forever will. He looked back at her, a grin evident on his face. His eyes twinkled, giving out the dreamy aura reserved for her only.
She walks down the aisle, finally reaching him.
They promised, till death do them part, that they will forever be together.
The day Addison and Derek got married.
The beginning of the end.
She sits among the pieces of broken glass and photographs
Reluctantly releases the last of what was her past
It struck without a warning or did she just ignore the signs
In those dark clouds forming behind her silver lines
Addison looked around her empty apartment, the wind gently blowing through the clear materialistic curtains, rain pattering gently on the window pane, gradually getting harder as storm clouds ran overhead. She picked up a photo of their wedding day, the bright smiles and love-filled gazes, she wonders where it all came apart, where it all went wrong. She glances at her kitchen, the glint of a knife peeking out from a drawer, the temptation urging her forward. Instead, Addison walks out of her apartment, a bag full of her possessions, of the memories she has left of her broken marriage.
And the door it slams like thunder and the tears they fall like rain
And the warnings from her family whirl like a hurricane
Oh she's drowning in emotions and she cannot reach the shore
She's alive but can she survive the storm?
She walks down the street, the thunder raging overhead, the lightening illuminating the shadows, illuminating Addison's reflection in the windows, the tear stained face, the broken eyes, the running mascara, the dampened hair once full of life. She walks on, hugging the bag to her chest, wanting this nightmare to end, wanting to wake up in Derek's arms once more.
A broken jewel box dancer lies in pieces down the hall
She's finding out the answers don't change nothing at all
It's time that she stopped searching for who's to blame or what went wrong
The only thing for certain is he's gone, she's got to move on
She screams out his name, desperation in her voice, her heart breaking at the stony silence of the night. Her soul shatters a little more, knowing he is somewhere with her, the woman who took him away from her, the woman who got him to discard his marriage, his life with her. She knows she has to move on, yet something keeps her connected to him. Love. She still loves him, her marriage to him means something more than he'll ever realise, he'll never know how much she really loves him.
And the door it slams like thunder and the tears they fall like rain
And the warnings from her family whirl like a hurricane
Oh she's drowning in emotions and she cannot reach the shore
She's alive but can she survive the storm
A million tears roll down her cheeks, each one symbolising the pain, the loss she feels, each one a jab to her aching heart that she has lost a part of herself. The winds picked up, blowing her hair back, her eyes closed, face tipped up to the night sky, welcoming the rain the came. She tried to kid herself that the wetness on her cheeks was merely rainwater, and not the salty tears that continued to fall. A body-wracking sob shook her body, the eerie silence of the night echoing loudly in her ears, her thoughts running through her mind, so many memories crumbling before her.
Someday days just roll on by without a gray cloud in the sky
She keeps telling herself, "I will make it on my own."
And her friends they've all gone back to their lives
Thinking she will be alright
As she races through the night to make it home
She accepts the end, he's never coming back, he's never coming home again, he'll never kiss her again, never hold her, never gaze lovingly in her eyes again, never play fight with her again, never making love with her again. The end, such finality, meaning so many different things for just one word summing it all up. The lightening strikes, the rain hammering down, mixing in with her tears, as she runs for her apartment, the place she can never call her home. She thinks about how she was, before he broke her, before this mess of a marriage that ended with no notice, and no remembrance. She was strong, she was independent and undamaged. Now she was completely broken, no resemblance of the woman she once was.
And the door it slams like thunder and the tears they fall like rain
And the warnings from her family whirl like a hurricane
Oh she's drowning in emotions and she cannot reach the shore
She's alive but can she survive the storm?
She slams her door, as a clap of thunder wracks through the building, causing Addison to fall down on her knees, the torrent of tears falling again. She wraps her arms around her legs as she cries. She looks up to see one remaining photo, of Derek wrapping his arms around Addison as she slept on the sofa, her head on his chest. Addison lets the tears fall as she picks herself up from the ground, shakily picking the picture frame up. She smashes the frame on the ground, sinking to its level, picking up the lone photo. She stares until the photo gets blurry from unshed tears, her hands not being able to rip the photo. Unlike him, her marriage still meant something, their love, their life.
She sits among the pieces of broken glass and photographs
Reluctantly releases the last of what was her past
She doesn't want to feel the pain anymore, she doesn't want to carry on living a life without love.
Addison sits among the scattered photographs and broken glass, yet not being able to forget, let go, release her past.
In her mind, they were Addison and Derek. Always have, and always will be.
Yeah thats it.. I could rant and rave for hours about addek, seriously, like 11 years of marriage deserves no mention? like it never mattered? Like it never existed? Jeez. Anyway, R&R!