Another one of my really random ideas. It came to my mind while I was reading the first Yu-Gi-Oh!-manga. I started to think how Yuugi wished for a friend, and he really got a friend, Yami. But then I started to think: "But hey, if he wished for a friend who wouldn't betray him, why does Yami always keep hurting him? Just look at the Duelist Kingdom with the duel with Kaiba, and then the whole Orichalous(Is it even spelled like that?)-thing!"
But then I started to think again. It made me always feel so touched that Yuugi always forgave Yami his mistakes. I started to think really bad…and this fic-idea popped into my head. So, it's particularly about forgiveness and humanity. I personally think that's the beauty(or at least one of them) of the relationship between Yami and Yuugi. That they can always forgive each others' mistakes, and move on.
Disclaimer: Don't own Yuugiou! Kazuki Takahashi-sensei does! English is not my first language!
Warnings/Notes: Mild shonen-ai(Puzzleshipping), deep stuff, randomness, kinda spoilers, end-change(I hate the ending so damn much!), follows the manga mostly(Or the zero season never aimed in America, "The Shadow Games", if you will).
"I wish for a friend
No matter what, I won't betray them…or be betrayed…
A friend I can count on…!
A friend who could count on me…no matter what!"
That's what I thought.
That was back when I still was a loner. I had no friends. I only played games all by myself. Worked with the ancient puzzle that I had received from my Grandpa. The puzzle I thought would make my wish come true.
The Millennium Puzzle.
When I finally solved it, after working eight years with it, I thought my wish had came true. I finally had some friends.
I just didn't know about the real friend I really had received when solving the puzzle.
My other self.
Yami.
Though I didn't know he existed back then, I knew something had changed in my life. I had these strange blackouts every once in a while, but for somehow I wasn't really bothered by them. In fact, somehow I knew, that when I'd regain my conciseness, everything would be fine again.
You see, the blackouts seemed to happen only when something bad had happened.
That way, they brought comfort. So…it was alright.
The only thing I ever feared in the blackouts was that my friends would find out. That they'd be scared by me, thinking I was crazy or something. So I only kept my mouth shut.
I never understood the reason for my blackouts until I met Shadi. He told me(though a bit indirectly and mysteriously), that I had other personality, "alter ego" in other words.
Well, now I was scared.
Not really of him, my other self, but rather that my friends would leave if they knew. And a bit of things my other self seemed to do to people.
Yet, already then, I felt urge to meet this "alter ego" of mine. I had things I wanted to ask from him. Why did he do all that he did for me? Where had he came from? What was his name?
Of course, I never found it out before the first fight with Bakura during the Monster World. But already then, I had stopped being scared of him. I had confronted my friends of his existence, and they hadn't left. I also somehow knew my other self would help me when I needed him. That's why I allowed him to take over the body we shared when he wanted. He never asked for it when it wasn't for my sake. Always for my, or my friends' sake. Never his own.
When we fought Bakura in the Monster World, I finally got to meet him, and we had our first brief conversation. I discovered we had a bond to talk with each other, telepathically. Our "Mind-link", like we later came to call it.
It was nice, even if we were too busy with the fight with Bakura to talk about anything else.
Only with the Duelist Kingdom we started becoming what we are now. He would appear to my side as a see-through ghost-like thing no one else could see. We didn't talk much, though, even then. He'd usually just advice me about faith to my friends. We were too devoted to get Grandpa's soul back to pay too much mind to one another.
But I still wanted to.
I wanted to know more about him. To have a real conversation with him. But I didn't want to pry, so I never asked. I waited until he'd be ready to talk to me.
It wasn't until after our duel with Pegasus, and even Otogi. We'd talk to one another in my room in the evenings, or in the mornings before school, every time the two of us were alone. By that time, I somehow ended up naming him, after I discovered he knew nothing of himself. Yami, "Darkness, Shadow".
He accepted the name, and slowly I understood why he did all that for me.
He felt gratitude.
I had freed him from the Puzzle after so many years. Allowed him to live again. I was glad I had been able to do something like that to help him. And I was really happy he was by my side, always helping me, always listening me when I needed it.
It wasn't until the Orichalous that I started thinking. Thinking…about Yami, about myself, and the Millennium Puzzle.
I knew I loved him. He knew it too. We never said anything, but we didn't need to, either. Actions speak better than words, anyway.
But I was a little bit unsure by then…did he really love me? Did he just pretend to love me, because he wanted to please me? I didn't know.
Our friendship, our brotherhood, our…love. None of those was the way I had wished my true friend to be. At first, we really ignored one another. And…I had wished that I wouldn't be betrayed by him, my true friend. That I could count on him, always, and that he could count on me, always. But…we had betrayed each other, at times. We had done things against each others' will.
Did that mean he really wasn't my friend? My brother? My…lover?
It wasn't until after he had fought so hard to get me back that I understood. We could count on each other. Our relationship was what it was, because although we sometimes hurt - and would always in some ways keep hurting - each other, we could always forgive each other, even without saying anything. We never needed to apologise, we'd forgive each other anyway. Sooner or later.
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
I think that's true, at least in some ways.
It was okay by then. I no longer had any doubts. I now only wanted to concentrate of making his only wish true.
To help him regain his memories.
It hurt a lot to see him, or rather feel him leave my heart to the Memory World. I felt so…empty. So…unbalanced and incomplete.
I guess that's why I wanted to follow him. And I did.
With our friends, of course.
After all that, things were unsure.
He would need to go, in order to seal the Millennium Items. Though Zorc was gone, as long as the Millennium Items existed, there would always be evil forces. Evil there would always be, people are evil from the very beginning. But if the Items were gone, the evilness wouldn't maybe grow so big we would always have to fight to stop it.
Again something he thought would be good for us. For me.
No one never asked whether he wanted to go away. To leave for the afterlife. Not even me.
I was too scared he's say he really did want to go.
While working on my deck for the Ceremonial Duel, I once again thought about things. There was still so many things I wanted to say to him. But time just wasn't enough. I regretted it so much. That I had known him for almost two years, yet I never even considered of saying all those things to him.
Maybe it was because I wasn't sure I could've found the right words.
Well, the duel came and went. With a surprise in the end.
He decided to stay. By only me winning the duel, the Items were gone. He had his own body. I could finally feel him, outside our soul room. It felt so good. I hugged him, I smiled, laughed, and cried, all at the same time. I was just too mixed with all my emotions to do anything else.
So now, we lead pretty ordinary lives. I'm 20 now, and in college with him and our friends. It's nice. A little quiet and boring at times, after all that excitement, but that is alright too.
I've learned so many lessons. Every day can be an adventure, if you look at it that way.
I've also learned that it really is true that those you love will always end up hurting you the most. Yami is quite brought-back-to-life proof of it.
But in fact, I think that's the reason why I really love him so much.
He's not the perfect friend I wished for back then. He's done his mistakes, and will keep doing them. He'll always somehow end up hurting me, until the day I die. He's just human too, now. Humans are imperfect. We're selfish creatures, always searching for our own happiness, sometimes even forgetting to take a note of others around us.
But I've learned, that is just why he is the perfect friend. As long as he keeps making mistakes, I can always trust that I can make my own mistakes, and know he will forgive me. In exchange, I'll always forgive him too.
That's why…we can count on each other.
That's why…I love him.
There! Phew! That became so much longer than I thought! I'm sorry if it was too confusing.
By the way, don't take offend from that I called Yami Yuugi's "brother" at times. I just think that's how they'd be, if they were lovers. Best friends, brothers, lovers.
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