Chapter One: Finding A Goal

Edited

Why was she so weak?! She slammed her fists down repeatedly on the railing of the red bridge, chewing her bottom lip until it bled from the action. She ignored the painful sensation and went on with her mental pity party. After all, it was easier for her to focus on the mental pain rather than the physical.

Sasuke-kun and Naruto were so strong and so brave. They didn't have to worry about being left behind. They didn't have to worry about being weak.

No, they didn't have to worry about anything.

"Why am I so weak?" She asked herself, thumping her head down on the railing, and watched her bleeding lip make tiny dots on the wood. "I was such a failure during the mission." She said to herself, remembering that horrible trip. From the beginning she had done nothing but stand in the way, paralyzed with fear. She hadn't been able to do anything; just hold her kunai and try to look anything but afraid. Sasuke-kun and Naruto had been able to fight together and form a plan without even saying a word. And what did she do? She stood there like a weakling, "protecting" the client! When it came to their training, she had been able to beat the boys without a sweat, but only because of her intelligence. And she hadn't even gone to the top of the tree; she only went halfway because she didn't want to embarrass her precious Sasuke-kun too much. Kakashi-sensei had praised her, sure, but it had been in a sarcastic and ironic manner in an attempt to rile up the boys. It had worked, to an extent. It had made Sasuke-kun angry with her, and Naruto star-struck. She had wanted it to be the other way around, kind of.

She sighed and pushed herself off the bridge, deciding that she could mope in her room where people wouldn't see her. She could also take care of her bleeding lip while she was holed up inside like a hermit. She figured she could make these two weeks go by quicker if she just stayed inside and out of sight. She would be able to rethink her life choices and decide if she really was cut out to be a ninja after all.

Her feet started to drag her towards home, when she remembered that boy on the bridge; the one that had been able to fight without being scared, without letting his emotions get in the way of his mission; and he hadn't even been a shinobi! He had had no formal training and was strong enough to nearly kill her Sasuke-kun. Kill, not injure, kill. She had simply stood there as Naruto and Sasuke-kun fought for their lives. She had nearly lost one of them because she hadn't done anything other than throw a god damn kunai to Sasuke-kun. In the end, her effort had been for nothing. Kakashi-sensei had been there, even though he had been fighting a very strong opponent. He had been able to kill the boy without a second thought.

Even Zabuza had been able to kill Gato's men without the use of his arms.

Dammit! Why was she so weak!

Sakura stopped and grabbed her head, wanting to pull her hair out.

We need to get stronger. Her inner told her making her stop in her tracks. Her inner was right. The only way she would stop being weak, was if she got stronger. And in order to do that, she had to train. Both her body and her mind. With this new purpose, she quickly spun on her heal. Her new found determination flooded her veins. She would study every book she could get her hands onto if it meant she would stop being the weak link once and for all. She would go to the library and get as many books as she can about-

That made her stop. What books should she get?

Well, we know we have great chakra control, even though it's underdeveloped, and we were the smartest female in our class. So we need to get books that play to our strengths, and then build on from there. Inner told Sakura.

'Okay, we need to see what those two things can do for us in regards to training.' Sakura thought, walking through the streets of the civilian sector. She knew that there were plenty of libraries where she lived, but they catered to the civilians, not to the shinobi. So she had to head to where all the clans and shinobi lived. After all, that's where her goal was.

While she walked, she thought back to the boy in the mask. Kakashi had said he had been pretending to be a hunter nin.

'Hmm, he hadn't been as strong as Sasuke-kun, or even Naruto. But he had been faster and smarter than them.' Sakura thought. She remembered Iruka-sensei saying that Hunter nins had to have the same amount of chakra control and focus as medics, because their job relied on the ability to make a clean kill without damaging anything vital. They also had to know human anatomy, be able to recite all the pressure points on the human body from memory, and also know where all the chakra gates were as well. But, unlike medics, they had to be able to shut off their emotions like a switch. Emotions could be the deciding factor between killing a nuke nin, or letting village secrets get away.

Sakura stopped, nearly bumping into a woman with dark purple hair. She shrugged her shoulders and kept on walking, wondering where she saw pink hair before. While she thought about that, Sakura thought about what she was thinking about doing.

'Hunter nins have perfect chakra control...they're intelligent...they're fast...' Sakura thought, listing the pros in her mind. She willed her feet forward, even if she was nervous about what she was going to do. 'The only thing that they have that we don't is the complete lack of emotions when it comes to the mission.' She added, letting her shoulders slip ever so slightly. She would have to work on that one.

This job plays into our strengths, and we can always train our weaknesses. Inner added, for once being calm and serious. Normally Inner was her more bold side, while Sakura was calm and cautious. It was odd having her Inner be the rational one for once. Maybe this entire thing was for the better. Maybe she could change herself into something great. Maybe, just maybe, she would be the one protecting the boys for once.

'Well, it looks like we're gonna be studying everything from anatomy to medicine to Hunter nins.' Sakura stated to herself, walking into the library.

"Hello," she greeted the grouchy looking Chunin at the check-out table. The man had messy brown hair that looked like it needed a brush. His skin was tanned, showing a few wrinkles around te edges of his eyes. They gave the appearance that he was quick to smile, even if his expression said otherwise. His cold, calculating, grey eyes made Sakura freeze in place and wonder if she should just walk out and high-tail it back to her home. But something in her made her stand her ground.

"What?" The man snapped, not noticing the way Sakura's eyebrow twitched. She resisted the urge to turn and cry, instead taking a deep breath to calm her rattled nerves.

"Where can I find books on medical chakra, chakra control, stealth, speed training, human anatomy, and Hunter nins?" She politely asked, not noticing the look someone was giving her in the background. It was a simple look of curiosity, and nothing more. The man coughed in his hand and stood up, gesturing for her to follow him. She did so without hesitation.

"You wanting to be a Hunter nin?" The man asked.

"Something like that." She said softly. "I need to learn everything I can first, before I can start to train and reach my goal." The man chuckled dryly and started handing her books as he walked further into the library. Sakura noticed it got darker the further they went, which didn't bother her. It was like this back in the civilian libraries. She assumed it was because people preferred to read where it was quiet and dark, away from annoyances. Maybe she should start reading here. She doubted that Naruto would follow her into here.

"Goal, eh?" He asked, grabbing the last two books she needed. He knew she had only asked for where they were, but seeing her innocent determination made the man want to help her. It was better than sitting in that hard as rock chair until his shift ended. After looking at the pile she was holding, he was surprised that she wasn't complaining about the weight. He saw her arms shake ever so slightly, but didn't say anything about it. He figured he would let her figure out her own solution.

"I want to get stronger, so that I can protect myself and my teammates; so they can be the ones watching my back, instead of the usual," Sakura stated softly, her voice cutting through the silence like a blade.

"Hmm, not bad for a goal. But what will you do after you achieve that one?" The man asked, grabbing a few books on Hunter nins and the techniques they used. He even grabbed a book on senbon training, as that was the favored weapon used by Hunters. Sakura chewed on her bottom lip in silent thought, making it start to bleed yet again. The man noticed this and applied a little chakra to his finger before running it over her lip. Sakura startled, before relaxing when he drew his finger away. Even though the man looked rough, he was surprisingly polite with her. He had even healed her lip without her asking.

Hmm, maybe he could teach her how to do that. It could be useful should her teammates get into another fight. Which would most likely happen. Like in the near future.

"I don't know. Maybe find a new sensei, one that won't ignore me because I'm weak." She said, bitterness lacing through her voice. The man blinked in surprise. Someone this young shouldn't be this bitter, and yet, she sounded like she had gone through hell and back.

"Who's your sensei?" A third voice asked, making the man straighten and Sakura crane her head backwards to get a good look at the woman standing behind her. She had purple hair in a spiky ponytail, and greyish brown eyes. She was wearing a fishnet over a tan t-shirt, a tan trench coat with a moderately high collar, brown skirt, and fishnet leggings that stopped mid-thigh. She had shin guards over her blue sandals and was holding a stick of dango in her right hand.

"Mitarashi-san, I've told you a thousand times, no food in here." The man said in a stiff voice. The woman waved him off and kept her eyes on Sakura. Her eyes gave a devious glint in the dim light. Something in Sakura suddenly wanted to learn how to do that.

"Kakashi Hatake, ma'am." Sakura said in an even tone, wondering if this woman knew her sensei. If only she knew.

"You're polite, brat. What's your name?" Anko asked, taking a bite off her dango stick, despite the evil look the man sent her.

"Sakura Haruno." She answered, bowing out of reflex even if the books hindered the movement. She wasn't used to people asking for her name, they usually only cared about her teammate's names and who to complain to about the mess they would always cause.

Was that bitterness she had just felt for Sasuke-kun and Naruto? Now that she thought about it, the more she thought about her comrades, the more she wanted to growl and snap at them for treating her like the weak link. Naruto didn't do it on purpose, so she couldn't get mad at him. But Sasuke on the other hand, he did it with the knowledge that it would hurt her. He did it because he knew that the more he did it, the more she would doubt herself as a ninja. He did it with the knowledge that she would eventually give up the shinobi life.

She was tired of Sasuke treating her like she was worthless.

She was tired of Naruto always trying to protect her.

She was tired of Kakashi-sensei brushing her training off like it was no big deal.

And most importantly, she was tired of being Sasuke's little fangirl.

Did she just think about Sasuke without adding the honorific?

She did it again.

Huh, weird.

Shaking her head mentally, she waited to see what the woman before her wanted from her.

"Hatake, huh? The lazy bastard. And he was the one always talking about how teammates shouldn't ditch one another. What a fucking hypocrite!" Anko said, rolling her eyes at the thought of the Copy Cat nin. She always thought that man was too smug and full of himself to even bother to train his brats correctly. Sakura didn't even bother defending her sensei. The woman was right, after all. Kakashi-sensei was always telling them about how important teamwork was and how they should never leave one another behind, but he never could practice what he preached, could he?

Anko noticed how the girl was carrying a ton of books and all of them looked pretty advanced for a girl her age. Some of them were even meant for Chunin level shinobi. She grinned darkly, an idea beginning to take shape in her twisted little mind. This pink haired girl was serious about getting stronger, and it looked like she was willing to put in some serious hours studying on how to be better. Maybe, with a little suggestion, she would be willing to put all of that knowledge to use.

T&I could always use some new recruits.

"Say, kid, meet me at Training Ground 13 tomorrow at 4 a.m. And don't be late." Anko said before disappearing in a puff of white smoke. Sakure blinked before realization dawned on her. Did she just get a new sensei? And one who was willing to look past her pink hair, too?

"Goddamn, kid. You must've said something to impress Mitarashi-san. She hates kids and never takes anyone under her wing." The man behind her explained, whistling lowly when Sakura's eyes flickered with confusion and awe.

"Really? Then I guess I better get home and start studying if I want to stay her student, huh?" Sakura asked, tilting her head to the side and smiling. The man cursed mentally as an imagine of another Anko ran through his mind. Dear Kami. This girl was serious; there might be a mini Anko running around the village in the next few weeks, that is, if she can survive Anko's sadistic training requirements.

Aw, fuck.