Barely Breathing.
My first Songfic. This is dedicated to Aryssa for being such a sweet person, and watching over my review board while I was away. Thanks again 'Rinyssa'.
Lyrics to 'Barely breathing' by Duncan Sheik.
'Final Fantasy' VIII by squaresoft,
Final Fantasy, and all related trademarks are not owned by me. But I did write the contents of this Songfic… I hope that counts for something… -_-()
This basically takes place on the bridge connecting Estar and FH. The scene where Squall is carrying Rinoa to Estar for help 'cuz she's… well, read on, and find out.
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Well I know what you're doing.
I see it all too clear.
I only taste the saline,
when I kiss away your tears.
You
really had me going, wishing on a star
But the black holes that
surround you
Are heavier by far
Squall Leonhart gazed out on the brightly colored sunset. He breathed in deeply as he watched the glowing half-circle sink slowly beneath the crashing waves of the sea.
"You know what you're doing to me, don't you?" he said aloud.
He turned his head to the motionless Angel sitting next to him. He rubbed his hand on his neck, slightly frustrated.
"…No. Of course you don't."
Rinoa Heartily, just sat there, silently. Unable to move, or even speak. She simply sat there, her raven hair blowing in the evening breeze. She was sick, somehow unconscious from their battle with Edea, and Squall was taking her to the only place that they could find help. The country of Estar.
He didn't really understand why, at first, he had made such a rash decision. Rinoa was in trouble, and he had to help her. No second thought given to it. But after what felt like days crossing these tracks, he began to not only question his actions, but he now knew why he'd done it in the first place.
He was falling for her.
Squall had spent days in tormented wait before the mobile Garden reached Fisherman's Horizon. Once they docked, he couldn't wait anymore. He took it upon himself to bring Rinoa into Estar.
He was really falling for her.
"I can't even begin to explain what you mean to me Rinoa…. Even if you could hear me, I doubt I could make you understand…"
Squall sighed. He felt helpless and hopeless. But he had to make this right. No matter what, he was going to save Rinoa from this, whatever it was, and have the chance to tell her how he felt.
"I didn't appreciate you at first, did I?" he said. "You made me see you in a different light after a while…"
Squall lowered his torso, squatting down beside her.
"…But it's all dark for you now, isn't it.?"
He brushed back the dark hair from her eyes, and held her face in his hand for a moment.
I
believed in your confusion
So completely torn
Well it must
have been that yesterday
Was the day that I was born
Squall laughed to himself slightly.
"You seemed really naïve at first…" he said. "Even after that you still acted so… innocent."
He remembered how valiantly she had fought alongside him, against hoards of Galbadian soldiers, monsters,… and even Edea.
"I couldn't have been more wrong about you…" Squall said. "You're every bit as brave and smart, as you are innocent and beautiful…"
There's
not much to examine
There's nothing left to hide
You really
can't be serious
You have to ask me why
I
say good-bye...
The sun was completely set now. Squall took note of this and picked himself up. He wanted to keep moving during the night to keep himself and Rinoa warm.
He positioned himself in front of her and lifted her arms to wrap around his neck. Once he had her balanced, her head rested on his shoulder. Squall held her calves firmly as he started making his way towards Estar once again.
"There's not much to think about…" he thought. "Just keep moving. I have to get Rinoa to Estar. That's all. They'll be able to help her there…"
Squall had to reassure himself of this several times. He needed to know that he was doing the right thing.
"…I hope everyone understands" he thought. "They shouldn't have to wonder though… I have to do this… They know why…"
'Cause
I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
I don't know who
I'm kidding
Imagining you care,
and
I could stand here waiting, ooh, for another day
I don't suppose
it's worth the price,
it's Worth the price, the price that I
would pay
"It's like I can't even understand myself anymore…." Squall said after a few minutes. "I've never felt this way before…"
He sighed.
"…I'm really out of my element, feeling like this, aren't I?"
Squall shifted Rinoa up a little, so he could move faster.
"But… heh…. Who's to say you'll even feel the same way?"
No reply. All Squall heard was Rinoa breathing in and out slowly.
"Yeah…" he said. "Who am I kidding, huh?"
Squall breathed in deeply. The cold night air came into his lungs painfully.
"…I guess I'll find out..." he started again. He paused though, a little shocked at himself.
"…I can't believe I'd take this chance… Opening up to someone… investing my feelings in them when I don't even know if she'll… she'll… *sigh* … I really have changed a lot… haven't I?"
Everyone
keeps asking, what's it all about?
I used to be so certain now I
can't figure out
What is this attraction? I only feel the
pain
There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame
Will
it ever change?
Squall slowed down for a moment to catch his breath. Traveling at night wasn't as easy as he'd thought it would be. In fact, his throat and lungs were given a sharp, freezing pain at every breath.
"I used to know what everything was about. My life wasn't easy… but at least I knew what to do… This is different. I can't understand these feelings... It's like I don't know myself."
Squall released one of Rinoa's legs to rub his hand across his throat. It was really starting to hurt now.
"…I guess I know why I'm in lov…" He hesitated to think it. "…why I like her…" He paused. " No. You love her Squall. Don't be so ignorant…"
He sighed.
"But I should be more reasonable than this…"
Squall grew irritated with his own confusion.
"Whatever… I just know what I feel, I guess… but until I know how she feels I… I… I feel like a fool."
He glanced behind him.
"This is all your fault, you know…" he said, mocking accusation.
'Cause
I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
I don't know who
I'm kidding
Imagining you care,
and
I could stand here waiting, ooh, for another day
I don't suppose
it's worth the price,
it's Worth the price, the price that I
would pay
But I'm thinking it over anyway... I'm thinking it over
anyway... ooh.
"Could she care about me? …Would she even consider me… if I told her?"
Questions flew through Squall's mind as he trudged along. He thought about what Rinoa would say if she could hear him…
"…'It's worth a chance… isn't it?' …That's what you'd say, huh Rinoa? Well, I don't know if I can agree with you on that…"
Squall gave a slight smile as he looked at the ground.
"But I'll think about it…" he said.
I
come to find, I may never know
A changing mind, is it friend or
foe?
I rise above or sink below
With every time you come and
go
Please don't come and go
Squall walked along for about thirty more minutes before he had to rest again. It was getting hard to breath with her arms tugged against his neck.
"…Will I even get the chance to hear her voice again?" he thought as he laid her down.
"…If she dies… I'll never know. She'll be gone…"
Squall squatted down to look at her face… He missed her already.
"…Did I make the right choice…? Should I have come out here by myself…? God… dammit… I don't know anymore… I just wanted to help her."
The sound of Rinoa's breathing encouraged Squall, at least a little.
"Well, she's not dead yet…So it doesn't matter now, if I was right or wrong… I have to get her to Estar… I won't let her die."
Squall leaned over and whispered into her ear.
"Please… don't leave me Rinoa…"
'Cause
I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
I don't know who
I'm kidding
Imagining you care, and I could stand here
Waiting
ooh for another day
I don't suppose it's worth the price
it's
Worth the price, the price that I would pay…
Squall lifted her onto his back again, and started walking, more slowly. He didn't care now, whether or not Rinoa could return his feelings… He just wanted her to be safe. That was worth any price. Regardless of her feelings towards him, Squall would give anything to hear her upbeat voice again.
But he still felt the pain. She'd made Squall fall in love with her, whether she'd meant to or not. He'd never felt this way about someone before. Now that Squall had allowed himself to feel, he couldn't express it.
What she had done to him was irreversible, and Squall Leonhart felt the pain of that with every step he took.
"I know what you're doin'.... I see it all to clear"
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The End. (Sort of)
Well, this was my first attempt at a songfic.
What do you think?
I felt like it came out pretty good, but I dunno… there's something missing.
Anyway. I hope this fits in with the story okay. If there are any glaring story line flaws that anyone notices, let me know right away!
R+R!
BTW, I will be writing more songfics, as well as taking requests if I end up not being half-bad at writing them.
Oh, and, if you wanna know what happens after this… well, you're just going to have to read my FF8 adaptation. Sorry!
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