Heh.just something I cranked out for fun. I thought it was a clever idea.
~~
Etiquette for Time Travelers
Sherlockian Time
So you've had the good fortune to somehow find yourself back in the time of Sherlock Holmes. The first thing is to find out what year you are in, being as he was 48 years old when he retired to the become a beekeeper. He was born in 1854 so when you do acquire the knowledge of what year it is your next step is to find out how old he is.
Once that is done you probably want to know where to find him. So here we will have a handy little impromptu timeline with where he is, how old he is and when it is. For those of you too excited at this point to do even the simplest of math. Let us assume you are not going to want to find him if he is under.shall we say sixteen? We will therefore begin at that age.
1870-our favorite detective is at the lovely age of sixteen, a virile young teenager, oh wouldn't we all love to be so lucky. He is with his father and mother in St. Malo. You got to go back in time, getting passage there shouldn't be too hard. Or you may wait until April of the next year and he will be at the farmstead of Mycroft, the place where he was born.
1874-he's turned twenty now and is off to college in Cambridge. So head off to Cambridge and seek out Gonville and Calus College and finding our dearest gumshoe shouldn't be too hard.
1881 a year we know oh so well. Holmes is 28 and he and Watson move into the most famous address in the entire world. I am sure I do not need to tell you where they are and if I do you don't deserve to be there.
1890-1894 He has disappeared and is thought dead. To assist you if you find yourself in this difficult time we prove the sketchy details of where he may have been. In June of 1891 it is said he met up with Irene Adler in Cettinge and then later that year and until 1893 he was traveling all over Norwegian territories under the name of Sigerson. It was April 5th in 1894 that he returned to Baker Street.
From there he stayed at Baker Street until he moved to tend to his bees. Now we get into how to approach the detective. In addition to this we would like to add that should demand be great enough we will publish "Seducing Sherlock Holmes.For Dummies."
Manners are a most important part of Victorian culture. Ladies, I hate to say it but first thing is to acquire some clothing appropriate for the time. You will need to wear the restrictive dresses and I know that's not appealing but remember, we're doing this for Holmes and I do not think that showing up in a tank top and Levi jeans is going to help him cope with your presence.
Now that you have somehow acquired clothing we will assume you have some money to your name, if you don't how did you get those clothes? Anyway, money in hand please hail a handsome cab. Remember this phrase should be said as sweetly as possible drama lessons do help. "Can you please take me to Baker Street?" If you have a nice driver he will ask the exact address and take you there promptly, if not the streets are much like they are here, odds on one side, evens on left.219 comes before 221.so on and so forth.
So you have arrived. Ah joy, here however is not the time to lose your cool, this is the hard part. You will approach his door and knock, or ring the bell if the technology is available at the time. Mrs. Hudson will probably answer said door and you will need to think of something to say that will get her to lead you to the sitting room where he will be waiting. Remember, it is okay to be vague; it is not okay to lie.
Now, you are in his sitting room. There is little more I can do for you but say this. Do not scream, squeal, drool, attack him, faint or say anything stupid. This will not endear him to you and in most cases would not be polite. Simple explain that you have a very personal matter to discuss with him and could you have a moment of his time.
Once this is gained it is how you chose to go about it (or you if have read "Seducing Sherlock Holmes for Dummies" you may reference that.) but remember these helpful hints
Say please and thank you whenever they seem necessary.
If he offers you tea accept, even if you do not like it.
Drink it all but do not request a second cup.
Whether he knows what time you hail from or not do not mention anything about him you know that would be impolite.
When sitting hook your ankles, do not cross your legs, and fold your hands neatly in your lap.
Do not fidget.
If he tells you about yourself and is wrong, do not come out and say so, tell him what a wonderful job he did and that you are very impressed. Then ease gently into him being wrong.
Most importantly, if he begins to smoke, hold in your coughs and do not ask him to put it out, this is his home, you are a guest and it was very acceptable in the time you now find yourself in.
This is the last bit I can offer you on your manners; just remember that it is common sense. If he seems aggravated, apologize; remember that in these times as a woman you were considered fragile and not the equal of men in all things. If you go out to dinner and are presented with the ungodly amount of silverware remember, start on the outside and work your way in, and take small, bites. In between each bite take a small sip and then gently dab at your lips with your napkin. Do not decline any foods given to you just pick at it gently and suffer through a few small bites. I hope that you find this little I can offer helpful and may it bring you all that much closer to winning the cold detective's heart.
In closing I hope that you can figure out the rest on your own and also know that should this leave you wanting you may send us feedback and maybe one day you will find yourself in possession of the continuum of this which we feel we cannot mention too many times, "Seducing Sherlock Holmes For Dummies."
~~Best Wishes, Constance Adams and the rest of the staff here at Etiquette for Time-Travelers.
~~
Etiquette for Time Travelers
Sherlockian Time
So you've had the good fortune to somehow find yourself back in the time of Sherlock Holmes. The first thing is to find out what year you are in, being as he was 48 years old when he retired to the become a beekeeper. He was born in 1854 so when you do acquire the knowledge of what year it is your next step is to find out how old he is.
Once that is done you probably want to know where to find him. So here we will have a handy little impromptu timeline with where he is, how old he is and when it is. For those of you too excited at this point to do even the simplest of math. Let us assume you are not going to want to find him if he is under.shall we say sixteen? We will therefore begin at that age.
1870-our favorite detective is at the lovely age of sixteen, a virile young teenager, oh wouldn't we all love to be so lucky. He is with his father and mother in St. Malo. You got to go back in time, getting passage there shouldn't be too hard. Or you may wait until April of the next year and he will be at the farmstead of Mycroft, the place where he was born.
1874-he's turned twenty now and is off to college in Cambridge. So head off to Cambridge and seek out Gonville and Calus College and finding our dearest gumshoe shouldn't be too hard.
1881 a year we know oh so well. Holmes is 28 and he and Watson move into the most famous address in the entire world. I am sure I do not need to tell you where they are and if I do you don't deserve to be there.
1890-1894 He has disappeared and is thought dead. To assist you if you find yourself in this difficult time we prove the sketchy details of where he may have been. In June of 1891 it is said he met up with Irene Adler in Cettinge and then later that year and until 1893 he was traveling all over Norwegian territories under the name of Sigerson. It was April 5th in 1894 that he returned to Baker Street.
From there he stayed at Baker Street until he moved to tend to his bees. Now we get into how to approach the detective. In addition to this we would like to add that should demand be great enough we will publish "Seducing Sherlock Holmes.For Dummies."
Manners are a most important part of Victorian culture. Ladies, I hate to say it but first thing is to acquire some clothing appropriate for the time. You will need to wear the restrictive dresses and I know that's not appealing but remember, we're doing this for Holmes and I do not think that showing up in a tank top and Levi jeans is going to help him cope with your presence.
Now that you have somehow acquired clothing we will assume you have some money to your name, if you don't how did you get those clothes? Anyway, money in hand please hail a handsome cab. Remember this phrase should be said as sweetly as possible drama lessons do help. "Can you please take me to Baker Street?" If you have a nice driver he will ask the exact address and take you there promptly, if not the streets are much like they are here, odds on one side, evens on left.219 comes before 221.so on and so forth.
So you have arrived. Ah joy, here however is not the time to lose your cool, this is the hard part. You will approach his door and knock, or ring the bell if the technology is available at the time. Mrs. Hudson will probably answer said door and you will need to think of something to say that will get her to lead you to the sitting room where he will be waiting. Remember, it is okay to be vague; it is not okay to lie.
Now, you are in his sitting room. There is little more I can do for you but say this. Do not scream, squeal, drool, attack him, faint or say anything stupid. This will not endear him to you and in most cases would not be polite. Simple explain that you have a very personal matter to discuss with him and could you have a moment of his time.
Once this is gained it is how you chose to go about it (or you if have read "Seducing Sherlock Holmes for Dummies" you may reference that.) but remember these helpful hints
Say please and thank you whenever they seem necessary.
If he offers you tea accept, even if you do not like it.
Drink it all but do not request a second cup.
Whether he knows what time you hail from or not do not mention anything about him you know that would be impolite.
When sitting hook your ankles, do not cross your legs, and fold your hands neatly in your lap.
Do not fidget.
If he tells you about yourself and is wrong, do not come out and say so, tell him what a wonderful job he did and that you are very impressed. Then ease gently into him being wrong.
Most importantly, if he begins to smoke, hold in your coughs and do not ask him to put it out, this is his home, you are a guest and it was very acceptable in the time you now find yourself in.
This is the last bit I can offer you on your manners; just remember that it is common sense. If he seems aggravated, apologize; remember that in these times as a woman you were considered fragile and not the equal of men in all things. If you go out to dinner and are presented with the ungodly amount of silverware remember, start on the outside and work your way in, and take small, bites. In between each bite take a small sip and then gently dab at your lips with your napkin. Do not decline any foods given to you just pick at it gently and suffer through a few small bites. I hope that you find this little I can offer helpful and may it bring you all that much closer to winning the cold detective's heart.
In closing I hope that you can figure out the rest on your own and also know that should this leave you wanting you may send us feedback and maybe one day you will find yourself in possession of the continuum of this which we feel we cannot mention too many times, "Seducing Sherlock Holmes For Dummies."
~~Best Wishes, Constance Adams and the rest of the staff here at Etiquette for Time-Travelers.