Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight, characters, places, cakes or anything else that could be so yummy from The Meyer universe.
Author's note – A little plot bunny that bit me and found it's way through the burning change into the world of sticky wolves and crunchy vampires. I love the stories but sometimes I just wish Bella had a bit more grit to her character. Marsh-mellow Bella aside I hope you enjoy, please review if you're in the mood for it. I'm an easy going writer, so it's all fine with me.
The Trouble with making Jacob Black a Birthday Cake
Chapter One
As Bella predicted, on this sunny afternoon in Forks, the Cullen Clan all returned home together from the hunt to an empty house. Everything was just as they left it, the remote was in its spot, the phone was in its holster, every single sock of Jasper's was lined up in the basement laundry room to military position. Not a speck of dust was out of place and aside from the small lingering scent of Bella, nothing was out of the ordinary for a house full of vampires like normal, except when Bella was concerned.
All was perfect in the perfect white house aside from one box.
One large golden box, to match Edward's large golden eyes.
All the Cullen eyes looked the same today, different hue's, different sizes but one thing remained the same. The vegetarian well fed look that gave the family strength to fight the blood-lust for another day.
"Alice can you still not see Bella?" Edward wondered and tried to ignore the patient expression on little Alice's face as well as the groaning sigh from Rosalie's impatience.
"Edward you spoke to her yourself. She's near those wolves where we can't follow for the entire day. She'll be back home with Charlie at 7 o'clock and not a moment before. Do I have to show you her opening the door as Charlie watches the news again?"
"Alice what have you being buying this time?"
"That's nothing to do with me, I didn't even see it, it must be from the wolves. Because I'm not picking anything up." Alice let out a little annoyed huffing noise and near-enough stamped her little perfect foot.
"It's got Edward's name on it." Jasper wondered carefully inspecting the box with a diligent eye. It could be a threat of some sort, he needed to be sure of his mate, particularly with stinky mongrel wolves running loose around the place causing his life to be a little bit more interesting than he would like.
"I don't think you need to worry too much Jasper, that's Bella's hand writing." Esme offered, aware her militant son was always so particular when it came to mysterious packages, after-all it hadn't being the first time something unpleasant had being left behind for them.
"Bella's not being here though." Edward wondered.
"No Bella's not being here in the last 24 hours or so Edward, and we've being gone all weekend." Rosalie pointed out with another board sigh.
Moving over, the Cullen's all hung around the kitchen and watched as Edward pulled the delicate little card with smoothed round edges from the ribbon holding it. Looking at the card box, it was a warm, golden colour with a shiny silver ribbon tied neatly around it. Not so neat as Alice could managed but clearing some human or other had gone to extraordinary lengths to make sure the box looked it's best.
Opening the little envelope which quiet rightly had, 'Edward' written in Bella's neat little letters on the front, Edward's eyes went from confusion to a smile. The moment he put it down, predictably, Alice snatched it up for a look.
"What's it say?" Emmett wondered rapping his long arms around Rosalie's hourglass middle and kissing her softly on the cheek. Rosalie made a face but still snuggled back into Emmett broad chest. Obviously the box wasn't some boobie-traped wolf surprise since Bella would no doubt of accidently triggered it's dedonater, some how, upon delivery.
"To Edward,
Just because I love you the most.
Happy hunting.
With love,
from your Bella."
"Aww that's so sweet." Esme beamed looking over at her husband with a smile. Carlisle merely gave her one of those looks that showed just how old he was getting by comparison but then smiled again at her sweet happiness. Jasper however read out the last little sentence.
"P.S. Don't share it with Emmett."
"Why's he get a mention?" Rosalie grumbled stepping out of her mate's arms at last.
"Are you jealous you didn't Rosalie?"
"No, but what has Emmett got to do with her sicken displays of romance."
"What, apposed to your crude noisy displays sister?" Jasper grumbled rolling his eyes.
"Don't share it with me, why not? What's she gone and got you? And by the way there is nothing crude about my Rosalie! She is perfection itself." Emmett insisted lifting his eyebrows to his mate for one moment. For a moment she softened her expression and smirked at him before going back to her sullen board expression. Esme however clearly thought they were going to open it up and find some sweet little romantic gesture between the two.
"I wonder what she got you? I'm sure it'll be lovely whatever it is." Edward too wondered this, Bella was in no mood to be giving him sweet little gifts when he left her at Charlie's cruiser, they were barely even on romantic terms given how quietly angry Bella was. She'd being angry all week but seemed to soften the last day he saw her.
He didn't think she'd softened this much though and was still wondering what sweet little romantic gift he could get Bella to soften her mood only to find she'd beaten him to it. She always was such a surprise for him but today that was a little worrying. Carlisle really doubted Bella had suddenly seen things Edward's way and was trying to apologies to Edward for the argument, it just didn't fit in with female logic, Edward heard in his mind that he was obviously expecting some sort of penance to be required on Edward's side before she let it drop.
Snapping the ribbon Edward laid it aside and lifted the lid, it was a large box covering one end of the kitchen counter. Prime position right in the middle of the room for all to see.
Inside the golden box was another box this one was pink, a sweet rosy pink that reminded Edward of the colour of Bella's cheeks when she blushed. Smiling to himself and still a little confused, Edward removed this lid to find a curved plastic lid. This was silver to match the ribbon and made it impossible for anyone to see it's contents but also made from a solid plastic and not card.
"Ooo she got you boxs Edward." Rosalie sighed a little too sarcastically for Esme to tolerate, she shot her eldest daughter an annoyed look to keep her quiet. This was a romantic moment, one quiet new and exciting for Edward, Bella had never done anything so unexpected as this before. Esme wanted to make sure he enjoyed it as much as she'd enjoyed Carlisle's little surprise moment's over the years.
Ignoring his sister Edward reached in again and unfastened the clips, the base of the box seemed to be flat where as the lid seemed to extend up the sides rather like an upside box. Lifting it up however they were all suddenly hit by the sweet disgusting smell of sugar and icing and the hint of Bella's scent that seemed to permeate everything she touched.
"I don't get it." Carlisle suddenly came out with. Inside this last box was a rather large delicately iced cake. With hard white icing smoothed up and across the sides, the edging had carefully piped little blobs and on the top was a flat expanse of white and gold. Although not getting the words perfectly formed it was clearly her own work. In soft, gold, slightly gooey lines, were written the words.
Edward & Bella
Forever
Surrounding this was a big pink heart shaped line complete with little smaller hearts around the bottom.
"I don't get it either, what could you possibly want to do with that thing?" Rosalie grumbled taking one quick look and sitting back into Emmett's broad arms once again. He quickly pulled her closer and snuggled her tight, always glad to have her back in his arms.
"I can think of plenty of fun to have with that thing. Why would she be so determined to stop me?"
"We know YOU could find plenty of enjoyment from a cake, but Edward?" Carlisle frowned, despite the sweet writing it seemed a bit of temporary gift. Suddenly Esme clasped one hand over her face.
"Oh my, it's humble pie."
"Pie, looks more like a cake to me?" Emmett wondered sure he hadn't got his human foods confused again. Jasper however was suddenly smirking and then he drawled out with a twinkle in his eye to match his mates.
"Oh she's good. I really like her now! I'm really glad I didn't kill her!" Edward's head however suddenly snapped to Esme.
"What do you mean I've got to eat it?"
"Eat it, but that's just disgusting!" Rosalie wondered with a deep set scowl.
"That's kind of the point Rosalie." Jasper pointed out and then leaned in closer to the cake again to take a sniff, he quickly wrinkled his nose at how revolting it would taste and smirked at his brother.
"Huh, effective." Alice started to join in now bouncing closer to Edward and measuring the size of the cake with her hands.
"Oh and look how big it is Edward, I bet that's even bigger than the cake she made the mutt!"
"Is that was this is about?"
"Your surprised? She did so lovingly make you a cake Edward." Alice grinned.
"But to eat it?"
"Humble pie Edward."
"But it's a cake, not a pie. And that's not what that means?"
"Oh I'm really starting to like this girl!" Emmett quickly knocked fists with his middle brother and grinned, it was a comment he routinely made once a fortnight to conveniently time with one of Bella's many clumsy accidents.
"Well I hope you'll have the decency to take that outside. Carlisle dear, will you come help me, Jasper don't forget your laundry." With that Esme gracefully slipped up the stairs closely followed by her mate who deliberately bumped into her when they reached his office. Esme let out a hiss of delight and suddenly the door slammed shut tight behind them.
"Oh this is gonna be fun."
"Esme's right though we should probably take this outside. It's bound to get awful messy."
"What? You think I'm going to eat it?"
"The mutt ate his!"
"The mutt eats everything! He even chews on her shoes."
"The mutt wasn't rude and obnoxious about the fact that she made him a cake and not you one. She seems to think you really wanted one for yourself, you gave that impression to me, how about you Jasper?"
"You did seem extraordinarily jealous of his Bella cake to me, yes."
"But she knows, I mean we don't eat. Why would I want her to make me a romantic cake?"
"Edward that's kind of the point you dumbass!"
"What so if I don't eat it she'll be hurt and the dam mutt will gain points for eating her cooking but if I do eat it she knows full well it'll taste like dirt and just make me heave it all up an hour later."
"Edward don't be such a pansy and eat the sodding cake!" Carlisle called out from upstairs.
"You want me to throw up?"
"You better be outside when you do!" Esme chimed in.
"Hell yeah, I wanna see you puke."
"You wouldn't want to hurt precious Bella's little feelings now would you?" Jasper insisted loading out an under current of enthusiasm as he did.
"I'll go get you a cake knife Edward." Emmett offered. Alice then picked up the cake and headed out to the patio where she set up a chair and delicate placemat for Edward. Emmett arrived with a knife and fork while Jasper frog marched Edward to sit down at his dinner table.
"But she..?"
"We all have to do crazy things once in a while to eat humble pie."
"Some of us more often than others, hay Emmett."
"Oi, that's not fair!"
"You wouldn't have to do it so often if you could control your impulses better."
"Hay I'll show you impulse behavior." With that Emmett picked up the fork yanked out a chunk of cake and started flying it towards Edward's mouth.
"Your gonna have to eat it Edward."
"Here comes the airplane. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom!" Edward swatted the fork away and tried reading all the thoughts around him, Emmett was trying to wind him up by making him think he's a chicken and the others were all thinking what might of driven Bella to such extreme behavior, she's never done anything like this before.
Alice tried to check her visions of Bella but she was still invisible, absent until she and Charlie were driving back home in his cruiser arriving home in time for the 7pm news.
Edward stared at the cake for several moments, it was his arch nemesis, a creature of agony sent to test him of his love. Something far worse than blood-lust or violent, vengeful, vampires.
His arch nemesis was a cake, a large sugar coated cake with ridiculous mocking pink hearts all over it.
Just as Emmett was giving in to Edward's no doubt stubborn-ness to find a way around the situation, the most miraculous thing happened. Edward picked up the cake knife sliced off a particularly large piece and then stuffed the entire thing into his mouth.
There was a muffled gagging noise followed by a particularly scrunched up disgusted face, but after a moment or two Edward chewed had swallowed the first chunk.
"Dude, that's fucking disgusting!" Emmett bellowed out scrunching his own face up at something so revolting, that was until Jasper shot out.
"Fifty says he can't eat the whole thing!" Emmett was already nodding in agreement as the two sat down on either side ready to hedge their bets and witness Edward's triumph or failure.
"Your on." Alice bounced around the table watching and checking Edward's near future. And although making every expression she was totally board, flicking through a magazine Rosalie didn't move from her spot watching Edward.
Alice watched on curiously while Jasper and Emmett systematically tried to either put him off or egg him on to win there respective bets. About half way through Edward started to flag, his stomach was not liking the sudden switch from tasty mountain lion to dirt-like human cake. The pieces were getting smaller and he was taking longer to swallow. Somewhere around the 64% mark he stopped chewing and had to clamp a fist over his mouth for several moments. Emmett and Jasper were sat on tender hooks waiting to see what would happen next, even Rosalie had put her magazine to watch, lifting her feet up from the floor. She was certainly expecting something messy soon!
Thanks for reading so far, feel free to review if you want to. All comments are welcome here.