Do They Collide

by spiffykay

She should have called him. He should have visited. She should have only stayed one year. He should have not changed his college plans. She should have gone to Berkeley that Christmas when she was twenty. He should have found her.' SS from Summer's POV

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. Not even the ones I made up. Because I didn't really make them up – a friend did. Cause I couldn't think of names I hadn't already used in previous stories. Even though I know there's plenty. And the EPA? Not mine either. I can't get sued for using their name, can I? And Death Cab? Of course not.

A/N: I'm living and working in DC. On lunch breaks I walk around downtown – usually hanging out in the park across from the White House. This is when this one-shot came to me. It's random – I know – but that's what I do. I'm really not sure whether I like it or not – it kind of jumps all over the place – but I'm posting it anyways.

P.S. I think I only do fluffy (of sorts) one-shots whenever my multi-chapter stories aren't fluffy at that present time. Huh.

Read. Review. And enjoy.

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She couldn't remember the last time she'd walked through a park by herself. And she thought that was ironic, seeing as she lived in an apartment complex right next to a park for the past four years. And because she walked past many on her way to work every weekday. And because she was this successful government official working for the Environmental Protection Agency.

It was more disconcerting than anything else, she thought to herself.

Her iPod's music blared into her ears, letting the sounds of the surrounding city die in the background.

Her hands shuffled over the iPod as she made circular motions with the cursor to find something new to listen to. Then there was Death Cab for Cutie. She hit play. The shuffle did its thing and landed on "I Will Follow You Into the Dark."

Of course it did.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd listened to this song – or to Death Cab.

Guess today was filled with a lot of 'couldn't remembers.'

She scanned the park, watching as tourists fiddled with their maps of the city trying to figure out where Constitution Ave collided with 14th Street, and business-dressed men and women strolled together discussing whatever it was that their job position entailed them to discuss.

It was strange sitting back on the bench, watching all these people interact and realizing she had no one. Still had no one.

Her work colleagues were amazing. She had known a lot of them since her long over days at GEORGE. And the apartment she rented in Arlington had come with two terrific roommates whom she spent the majority of her weekends with – shopping, traveling, sitting in the living room watching the newest Tivo-ed reality show episodes.

And there was Jason. An old friend from high school turned into something more long down the road. Or not necessarily a friend but more of one of those soccer jocks that she rarely ever talked to back then, but more than likely made out with.

He wasn't really a jock anymore. And he didn't act like a conceited ass. And he was successful at his own governmental job at the Department of Treasury.

And, shockingly, Summer and he had hit it off immediately when they met (again) two years ago at a charity gala in DC.

But still, she felt like she had no one.

"…If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark…"

Her phone vibrated in her hand, underneath her iPod, and she glanced quickly at it before pressing the ignore button.

It was Jason. Probably asking her if she wanted to go grab some lunch. Because that's what they always did. Every day of every workweek. It was always the same.

He was her boyfriend but she couldn't figure out why she didn't want to spend time with him.

Maybe it was just her mood.

"Then I really need to get out of this mood," she quietly commented to herself.

The song ended. "Start Again" played. More tourists bustled and more business executives walked past her quickly. Summer closed her eyes and leaned back, letting the music and lyrics reach her senses.

Suddenly she thought of Newport. She wondered what it was like there. She hadn't been there since she was twenty. She wondered how Taylor was. Or what she was doing. "Who she was doing is more like it," Summer snickered to herself. And Julie and her baby boy – God, what was his name?? – and Kaitlin.

And the place itself – the place she had so many forgotten memories of.

And then she thought of Heaven. And if Marissa was there. Or even if there was a Heaven at all. Because lately, she hadn't really been that into religion to believe that people had a place to go after they died. She was kind of beginning to think that death was just like before you were alive – you just weren't aware of anything that was happening but you weren't hurting either. You just were.

A tear slipped down her cheek.

She couldn't remember the last time she cried.

Her eyes flashed open to see the same types of people flooding the area. More seem to have come and the benches all around her were becoming occupied by the second, people filling up every area around her.

Summer got up and made her way back to work.

She never liked closed in places.

"…Some things I'd change but it's too late
I'd take the past and make it straight
Even though it's complicated
We've got time to start again
I don't know if you can hear me…"

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"Sum…?" a voice rang out. Summer turned her head, already knowing who it was.

Jason jogged up to her, clutching his briefcase. "Hey. Where were you today? I tried calling you to go out for lunch."

"I know. I'm sorry," she told him, "I just wanted some alone time."

"Alone time?" his forehead scrunched up. "You feeling okay?"

Summer feigned a smile, glancing up into his blue eyes. "Absolutely," she lied.

Jason seemed content with her answer as they both made their way down into the Metro to head back to their separate apartments.

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Summer slouched as she entered her empty apartment – knowing her roommates wouldn't be back from work for another hour – and left her purse on the living room table, walking restlessly to the refrigerator to grab something to drink.

God, she needed alcohol. And she didn't even know why.

She took the earphones off of her iPod and plugged the music device into the speakers. Death Cab flooded the apartment. "Expo '86" blared through the tiny speakers. She turned it up louder and downed her poured glass of wine.

"…I am waiting for something to go wrong
I am waiting for familiar results
I am waiting for another repeat
Another diet fed by crippling defeat
And I am waiting for that sense of relief
I am waiting for you to flee the scene
As if you held in your hand the smoking gun
And on the floor lay the one you said you loved…"

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"I think I'm becoming Emo," Summer spoke into the growing darkness of the living room as her roommate, Nicole, entered.

"What?" she laughed.

"I'm listening to Death Cab for Cutie. I'm upset but I don't know what about," Summer sighed, slurring a bit, "And I don't think I love Jason."

"Summer, it's just this music. It's depressing. It's putting depressing thoughts in your head when you're actually, in reality, perfectly fine."

"Death Cab never used to make me feel depressed. In fact, it used to make me feel happy. Really happy. And satisfied. And loved."

"You think Jason doesn't love you?" Nicole sat down next to Summer, questioning her.

"No. I think he loves me. I just don't think I love him," Summer replied quietly letting the music of "Tiny Vessels" take over.

"…All I see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask 'Was something wrong?'
Than I think "You're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now
No, we can't talk about it now...'"

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Summer took walks to the same park every day for lunch from there on in. And she broke things off with Jason. But still, four months later, he was always around.

Well, not always. That was an exaggeration. But he was still managing to keep her in his life. They were friends.

Friends. Ha. Summer wondered if she was ever able to have guy friends.

She couldn't remember her last guy friend. Maybe that guy from college – Chad, was it? No, Che.

Wow. She really sucked at remembering things.

"Summer!" Jason bounded up to her happily as she sat on what she named 'her bench.'

About five weeks ago Jason had discovered her lunchtime hiding spot and occasionally dropped by – making it appear as a completely random coincidence. She didn't have the heart to tell him she wanted to be alone. She figured she had already hurt him enough.

Summer pulled the earphones from her ears, "Hey Jason."

"You'll never guess who I just ran in to!" Jason plopped down next to her on the bench, making her wince slightly.

"Nicole," Summer suggested; Jason shook his head. "Angela," Summer tried her other roommate. Again another shake of Jason's head. "The President of our here United States," she rolled her eyes.

"Okay," Jason ignored her draining enthusiasm, "I don't expect you to remember this kid cause he was this huge dork in high school… huh… you know I can't even remember his name… But I ran into him and he recognized me and then I realized it was that guy that was tormented by all the water polo players! The pee in the shoes guy!"

Summer's attention awoke. "Seth Cohen?"

"Yes!"

"Wha- … where - …" Summer stuttered.

"Right over there on New York Ave. Turns out the guy works for the FBI now. Crazy what happens to people after high school, right? I bet he's planning some evil scheme to get back at those assholes."

"I bet he's not," Summer muttered mostly to herself but Jason caught it.

"I was just joking," Jason commented. "And anyway, they deserve it. They were assholes."

"You were one of those assholes, Jason," Summer told him wryly.

"Yeah… well…" Jason flung it off with a flick of his hand. "Anyway, I gotta go. I just saw you here and thought I'd tell you. And hey," Jason turned around, pointing at Summer, "You wanna do lunch tomorrow? My treat."

"Sure, Jason," Summer casually waved back, earning a grin from Jason.

Summer plugged her earphones back into her ears and listened to the song now playing. "Title and Registration."

"…There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night…"

She listened to the lyrics for a few moments before shooting up from her bench, jogging in her business suit towards New York Ave.

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The outdoor, natural warmth of the Washington, DC area had passed and it was now getting too cold for Summer to go wandering the streets of DC as she had for the past four months. She knew what she had been looking for, but she never admitted to anyone. She kept that information to herself, glancing through the streets hoping to find a mop of curly hair on top of a skinny man's body.

She could have simply tried to go to the FBI itself and ask for Seth Cohen.

But then it wouldn't have been fate.

And Summer wanted desperately to believe in fate. Or to believe in anything for that matter.

So Summer stopped trying to search for him and began dissecting their past relationship while she sat in a different coffee shop, day after day.

They should have kept in touch that year she was with GEORGE. She should have called him. He should have visited. She should have only stayed one year. He should have not changed his college plans. She should have gone to Berkeley that Christmas when she was twenty. He should have found her.

'Should haves' were taking over her lunchtime thoughts. And she couldn't remember why she let things go as far as she did.

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It was mid-December and she decided to take a trip to Macys instead of her usual coffee shop routine in favor of getting last minute Christmas gifts. The holiday season was upon her and she was heading out to Seattle in five days and still didn't have any presents for her father.

Not that he would want the presents she picked out for him anyway – she hardly knew him anymore, after all – but she still felt like she needed to get him some.

Summer was almost there. She bundled up into her heavy, warm jacket while her scarf and hat worked to keep her neck and head warm. The frigid temperatures were unusual in Washington, DC and Summer couldn't remember missing California more.

And that's when she finally saw Seth.

And she couldn't remember the last time she felt so alive.

He was crossing the same street, opposite of her, shivering in his business suit waiting for the pedestrian crosswalk to light up. Summer stood in a daze. He looked the same. But yet – so different.

Everything about him seemed new. But yet – familiar.

The light lit up signaling the pedestrians to go and she saw Seth quickly move, shoving his hands into his pants pockets with his head down to hide from the wind. Summer made a motion to move as well, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as though she was about to pass out.

And then she walked right in front of him, purposely bumping into him. He looked up at her with teary eyes – as a result of the wind – and paused. And then he stood up straight. And then he spoke out loud to her for the first time in five years.

"Oh my God."

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Christmas in Seattle had been what she had expected – boring, routine, and way too long.

But maybe that's because she was invited to California for the new year by Seth. And she just wanted to get there already.

And finally it came and she was in the airport, glancing around for Seth's welcoming face. He walked up to her, a smile permanently etched across his features since the day he first saw her again.

"Hey there," he enveloped her in a tight hug. "Nice flight?"

"As good as flying next to a crying baby and a person with a cold could be," she smirked.

He smirked back.

And Summer couldn't remember the last time she felt this happy.

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Christmas – or Chrismukkah as Seth still insisted on referring to it as – was amazing. Ryan was there – along with his fiancé, Taylor (who knew?) – and Sandy and Kirsten had been thrilled at seeing Summer once again. Everything and everyone was so great and she was finally able to really meet Seth's little sister, Sophie. She had dark curly hair but a cute little nose, getting the best of what her parents' genetics had to offer.

And Summer had then wondered, is this what her little girl would look like if she had married Seth like she had planned all those years ago?

"Summer!" Sophie tugged at her green dress.

"Yes, Sophie?" Summer knelt down to the six year-old's height.

"Do you want to go to Newport?"

Summer stood up, basking down at the child in confusion. "Newport?"

Sophie nodded her head enthusiastically as Seth walked up behind her. "I promised I'd take her down there when I came back for Chrismukkah. She misses the Coopers. I usually take her down every year at this time," Seth explained. "Do you want to come?"

Summer looked up into Seth's hopeful eyes.

Of course she wanted to come.

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It was only a half hour into the drive and Sophie had already passed out in the backseat as Seth and Summer sat in the driver's and passenger seats, respectively.

"I can't believe you still listen to Death Cab," Summer commented, looking down at the car stereo. "They're so old."

Seth glanced over at her, smirking. "But still so good."

Summer laughed at Seth's happy face and turned toward the window, "And I can't believe you wanted to drive down to Newport."

"I don't get to drive a lot in the city," Seth shrugged, and then, after a beat, "I can't believe we both work in the same city."

"I know," Summer smiled honestly. "It's crazy."

"If I had known you worked there I would have looked you up years ago, you know that?" Seth took a side glimpse at Summer, to show that he really meant it.

"I found out you were living there about four months ago."

"What?" Seth asked, stunned. Thank God they were stopped at a red light or they might have had an accident.

"Yeah. But I didn't want to find you on my own. If I bumped into you I wanted it to be fate."

Seth looked like he was trying to figure out what to say in response to Summer, but soon gave up smiling out onto the open road. "Philosophical Summer. Now that's something new."

Summer grinned back at him and she couldn't remember ever going a day without his smile.

"…I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved…"

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"So this is Newport now," Summer stepped out of Seth's parent's BMW. "It's changed."

"So have you," Seth commented, reaching for his sister in the backseat. Summer looked over to him, smiling shyly, as he gathered his sister in his arms. "Okay! You ready to re-familiarize yourself with the glamorous life of Newport Beach?"

"Umm… yes!" Sophie rolled her eyes at her brother, jumping down from his arms. "Come on!" Sophie grabbed his hand and then grabbed Summer's dragging them both behind her.

"She's a nagging one," Seth whispered to Summer.

"Oh, so she takes after you?"

Seth's mouth fell and he gasped falsely. "Ouch, Summer. That hurts. That gets me right here," he motioned his empty hand over his heart.

"Seth," Sophie whined as she stopped suddenly, causing both Seth and Summer to end their bantering, "I don't know where I'm going."

"Oh you don't, do you?" Seth grinned, picking up his sister and tickling her sides. "You mean you're not the world's smartest six year-old? Huh? Huh?"

"Stop it," Sophie laughed. "Seth!"

Summer watched on with happy eyes, holding her hand to her mouth in admiration. Seth was fantastic with his little sister. She obviously adored him and he obviously had spent a lot of time getting to know her – regardless of their vast age difference and their geographical locations. They were so adorable together and Summer couldn't help but think about how great of a dad he was going to make one day.

"Summer?"

And then her revered thoughts were ruined.

Summer turned around as Seth stopped tickling Sophie to look at the voice's owner.

"Jason," Summer plastered on a smile. "What are you doing here?"

Jason looked between Summer and Seth, who was still holding Sophie in his arms, trying to figure everything out in his head. "Umm… ah… I was going to ask you the same thing," he pointed at her.

"I'm visiting Newport for a few days," Summer tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. A nervous habit she hadn't been able to rid herself of over the years.

"But your dad lives in Seattle. And you don't have any family here," Jason replied.

"I know. I came here with Seth and his little sister."

Jason looked over to Seth and the little girl wiggling in his arms to get down. Seth ignored Sophie's rants and stared at Jason with a confused look upon his face.

Summer closed her eyes, wishing this wasn't happening. All she wanted was a nice break from the city life and a good trip down memory lane with Seth. Was that seriously too much to ask??

"Seth," Jason nodded towards him.

"Hey Jason," Seth replied, finally letting Sophie slide down from his arms.

"Seth, I want to go to the beach now," Sophie tugged on her brother's arm. "Come on."

Jason shook his head in disbelief, coming to his own rash conclusions. "Oh my God! You're dating this dork?"

"Jason!" Summer shrieked.

"You broke up with me so you could date him?"

"You two were dating?" Seth motioned between Jason and Summer with his spare hand.

Summer glanced at Seth pleadingly, asking him with her eyes not to probe with anymore questions, and focused back on Jason. "I did not break up with you for him. You and I broke up months ago when I realized it just wasn't what I wanted anymore. You know that. We've talked about this."

"But you're in Newport with Harbor High's most famous geek!"

Sophie had stopped her whining once the arguing and loud voices had begun and quickly found she did not like what this guy was saying about her brother. She let go of Seth's arm and pointed her little fist at Jason. "You're a big bully! Leave my brother alone!"

Jason began laughing ironically, shaking his head and bringing his attention to Seth. "You let your five year old sister fight your battles now, huh Cohen?"

"I'm six!" Sophie yelled at him as a matter-of-factly.

By now, a small crowd of onlookers were beginning to gather around the area, trying to figure out what was going on. Seth didn't even speak a word to Jason, instead merely picking Sophie up in his arms once again and walking off.

Summer watched as Seth walked off with his sister's rants at demanding he put her down.

Jason shook her private thoughts, speaking up, indicating towards Seth, "Once a dork, always a dork, Summer."

Summer turned her head, glaring at him. "Once a dick, always a dick, Jason."

And with that she jogged off in the direction Seth had just left.

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"I'm really sorry about him," Summer caught up to Seth after she found him on the beach, letting his feet wade in the water as Sophie happily forgot the past few minutes events and splashed in the water.

Seth sunk his hands deep into his pockets and shrugged, still watching his sister instead of making eye contact with Summer. Summer couldn't remember the last time he looked so hurt. "It just reminds me that no matter what happens the past will always have a significant hold over my life."

"That's not true," Summer reached for Seth's arm, grabbing his hand out of his pocket and holding it. Seth looked up into Summer's eyes. "Guys like him don't really matter anymore so it doesn't matter what he thinks of you. Besides, you have a little girl right out there that thinks the world of you," Summer looked out to a beaming Sophie, who was trying to race the waves. Seth's eyes followed Summer's and he smiled. Summer glanced back at Seth's smiling face, adding, "And you have an old friend who doesn't think you're too shabby either."

Seth's grin seemed to grow wider and his hand tightened around Summer's showing thanks. Summer leaned her head on Seth's shoulder, breathing in his old familiar scent of "Old Spice" deodorant and freshly cleaned laundry. "I've missed you."

Seth crooked his head downward, leaning in and leaving a simple kiss on Summer's lips. Summer felt the heat pulsate through her body as shivers ran through her spine. Her heartbeat sped up as she glanced into Seth's loving soft brown orbs and she shifted her body so she could lean into his chest.

She couldn't remember the last time she felt so safe.

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Summer realized that evening – after they all had met up with Julie, Kaitlin, and Josh ("That was his name!" Summer reveled in earlier, finally finding out what Julie's son's name was) for some classic Newport Beach Diner dinner – that she and Seth knew nothing about one another anymore. In fact, she was pretty sure Julie knew more about Seth now as a result of keeping in touch with Kirsten.

Summer knew that Seth had dropped out of RISD and transferred to Boston University for his sophomore year but she didn't know that he had dropped out of Boston University as well after his second year, transferring to George Washington University in favor of an outstanding political science program. She didn't know that he started off as an intern at the FBI when he discovered that that was what he wanted to do with his life. Not anything too risky – as Summer found out – just the daily goings-on in Washington, basically the planning out part of the agency rather than the go-out-and-make-it-happen part. And Seth had had a serious girlfriend named Allie – whom Sophie was particularly fond of, asking where she was and when she was coming back, and if she could be the flower girl to their wedding when the subject had come up. Seth had to let his sister down and inform her that he and Allie had broken up a few months ago – much like Summer and Jason, Summer noted. Sophie cried a bit and complained but was halted as soon as her cheeseburger and fries arrived at the table.

But then again, there were some things Seth hadn't known about Summer either. Like, her and Jason for example. Or the fact that she had her appendix taken out three years ago. Or the biggest experience that had happened to her since she last talked to Seth – her meeting with her mother for the first time since she was thirteen.

Seth had been shocked about this and then was shocked that Julie had known at all. Summer was too but then Julie informed them that she had spoken to Summer's dad recently. ('Apparently they still keep in touch,' Summer observed, 'long after Seth and I had lost touch.' Something about that irked her. Maybe it was because Julie and her father were no longer in a relationship but yet were still able to keep tabs on their lives while Summer and Seth had been in love and couldn't keep things together. Maybe Summer was resentful. Maybe she was jealous. In any case, it had been a shock.) Summer simply told them about her encounter with her birth mother last year and informed them that it had been anything but eventful – more awkward than anything else – and that right now they were on a holiday/birthday-card speaking basis.

It didn't take long for dinner to end – since it was just the Diner after all – and Sophie and Josh insisted on staying down at the pier to watch the fireworks. (Josh had told Sophie earlier while "the grown-ups" were talking that there were going to be "cool" fireworks and so of course the two believed they had to stay up to see them. Or they just had to stay up. Period.)

"Fireworks?" Seth asked to no one in particular. "Why are there fireworks happening in the middle of December?"

"I know you haven't lived here in awhile, Seth," Kaitlin put a hand on Seth's shoulder, "but it is Newport Beach and they never have a reason for anything."

"This is true," Seth nodded his head in agreement.

And they ended up staying. Even after both Josh and Sophie had passed out due to exhaustion on the beach blanket.

And then they all went back to Julie's house and Sophie slept in Josh's room in his spare bed and Julie showed Seth and Summer the guestroom. And Summer wasn't sure if Julie had got the memo or not that they were no longer together, or was just trying to help push her and Seth back together, but regardless she showed them one room with one bed only and then told them goodnight.

"So…" Summer glimpsed around the room. "This is nice."

"That it is," Seth smirked, obviously knowing what was going through Summer's head. "I'm going to go shower."

Summer nodded her head wordlessly, watching as Seth entered the bathroom and closed the door. She sunk onto the bed, sighing loudly for no one to hear, wondering what she was doing.

She was in Newport Beach, California. With Seth Cohen. In Julie Cooper's house.

Summer wasn't this person anymore. She wasn't eighteen. Seth and she were no longer together – but yet, physically, they were. And she did feel like she was still eighteen. And then suddenly she realized she wanted this. She wanted this life back. That's when she was truly happy. Even though everything had been dramatic and annoying and all too much pain for her to handle – she loved it. It was who she used to be. It was like a broken-down car that no longer drove but held so much sentimental value that you just couldn't part with it.

Summer reached down into her bag and grabbed her iPod, searching through her list of artists for Death Cab for Cutie. She found them and clicked on "Soul Meets Body," letting the music soothe her memories.

"…I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere…"

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Summer awoke to a nudge and opened her eyes to see Seth beaming down at her, his body firmly planted on the bed area next to her. Seth motioned with his hands for her to remove the earplugs and she did so disoriented, wondering why he was smiling so wide.

"What?" Summer asked, yawning.

"I thought Death Cab was, like, so old," Seth imitated her.

Summer laughed, embarrassed, sitting up more and shutting off her iPod. "They are… How long were you in the shower?" Summer changed the subject.

Seth went with it and lay down on the bed next to her. "I was only in there about fifteen minutes. You just must be really tired."

"Yeah," Summer yawned again, "I guess I am."

"Are you gonna take a shower?"

"Do you think I need to take a shower?" Summer tried to glare at Seth.

Seth smiled again, leaning back into the headboard. "Not at all. You smell like the ocean."

"That means I should shower," Summer started to get up but Seth reached for her arm to stop her.

"No, it's a good thing."

"How could smelling like the salt and sand be a good thing?"

Seth let go and shrugged his shoulders. "It just is. Let's go to bed," Seth patted the spot Summer had just been laying in.

Summer rolled her eyes, but obliged him anyway, laying back into the bed. Seth pulled back the covers so they could both get underneath.

They laid there in comfortable silence for awhile and Summer began to drift off to sleep, but she faintly heard Seth mumble something incoherently.

"What was that?" Summer turned on her side facing Seth.

"I've missed you too," Seth spoke clearer this time.

Summer smiled into the darkness, even though she knew he couldn't see her. "I'm glad."

Another few seconds of silence ensued but Seth broke it again. "You know… I don't think we ever broke up."

"Huh?"

"Well, I mean… I guess we did. But we never actually said the words. Or any words for that matter. We just like -"

"Ended," Summer replied sadly.

"Yeah. It's weird. You'd think out of all the couples we know we would have been the ones to have some kind of dramatic break up. But instead we just kind of lost track of each other. And I don't even remember how that happened."

"Me neither," Summer said, then added after a beat, "I'm sorry."

"What? You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault. Or my fault for that matter. It just... was what it was," Seth leaned on his side as well facing Summer.

"I should have called you back. I've thought about it for awhile – probably since I found out you were living in DC – and so I've had time to overanalyze it. And I think I pinpointed where it just stopped working. Remember that time – I had been gone for, like, almost a year and I told you I was gonna do another year and you didn't get mad per say but you weren't really happy about it either? And then you called me to apologize about your reaction and I said I was busy and you asked me to call you back? And I said I would but I never did. Well, things got busy and at first I thought everything was gonna be fine – that you just needed to come to terms with things and understand why I had to do this and then I thought you were gonna call me. But you never did. And I guess I kind of used to partly blame that on you but it wasn't you. It was me. I should have called you back. We should have talked about it… I shouldn't have just assumed we'd be all right…" Summer trailed off, "I shouldn't have let you go."

Summer felt Seth's hand trail the contours of her face and soon she could feel his breath hot on her skin. Her heart skipped in anticipation and she closed her eyes, waiting to feel Seth's lips on hers. It never came and Summer opened her eyes to see why not and she heard Seth whisper, "I love you, Summer Roberts," before gently massaging his lips over hers.

Summer couldn't remember the last time she felt this way. She imagined it had been five years or so ago but then she couldn't remember why she had let the absence of this feeling go on as long as it did.

She pulled her body on top of his – or maybe he pulled her, she wasn't quite sure. His hands started to roam her bare skin and his fingertips lightly graced the bottom of her cotton tank top. And then her tongue parted his lips and sneaked its way into his mouth, familiarizing herself with his taste once again. Seth pulled her impossibly closer, gripping tightly onto her hips as Summer's hands shifted their movements between Seth's hair, neck, and face.

Summer couldn't get enough of him. She missed kissing him like this. She missed this slow making out they always used to do in the confines of his or her bedroom. This is what she wanted. She wanted to be able to do this with him for the rest of her life.

If nothing else, she wanted him forever.

Faint giggles erupted in the hallway outside of their door and both Seth and Summer broke their lips apart, flustered as the door was pushed wide open and Josh and Sophie jumped in.

"Surprise!" Sophie whispered animatedly, waving her hands in the air. She then noticed Summer on top of Seth and both of their attempts at trying to catch their breaths, thanks to the moonlight shining through the window. "What're you guys doing?"

Summer rolled off of Seth as Seth sat up, addressing his sister. "I think the question is what are you two doing?"

"We came to surprise you!" Josh spoke gleefully.

Sophie was not so easily swayed away from the subject. "What was Summer just doing laying on top of you?"

"Umm…" Summer mumbled, gripping her sheets more tightly around her, as if she was hiding something.

"She was just telling me a secret," Seth covered, appearing unfazed by anything.

If Summer had more time to think she would have wondered why that was. But Sophie kept asking her brother questions. And Summer's mind was still reeling.

"What's the secret?"

"Well, it's not a secret if you know about it, is it?"

"Secrets don't make friends," Josh added helpfully.

"Nope, but they keep them," Seth bantered along with the six year olds. Summer smiled. He really was so good with them.

"Why were you both out of breath then?" Sophie badgered Seth.

Seth immediately came up with a retort. "Because we were talking very quickly to hide the secret once we heard you two coming down the hall. Now, why are you two out of bed this late?"

Sophie only seemed mildly content with her brother's answer and huffed in reply. Josh went up to the bed, placing his hands out onto it. "Because we're not tired."

"And we're not babies and we don't have to go to bed when we're told," Sophie crossed her hands over her chest.

"Oh, you're not?" Seth mimicked his sister with a devious grin. "So you can buy your own food, cook it, get a job, pay rent on an apartment or mortgage on a house -"

"What's mortgage?" Josh asked curiously.

Seth leapt out of bed, turning the two children around and pushing them towards the door. "Exactly."

Summer sat up in the bed with the sheets curled around her body, as she smiled on at the exchange between Seth and the two children. Seth turned a glance at her, still grinning, walking the children back to their room. Summer could hear them complaining all down the hall.

"Seth," Sophie whimpered, "You're supposed to be the cool brother."

"Yeah, well, this cool brother needs his beauty rest."

"Isn't that for girls?" Josh threw in.

Summer laughed to herself.

Seth made a 'pshh' noise before replying to Josh, "You'll know what I'm talking about when you don't think girls have cooties anymore."

The voices died out after that and Summer assumed they had reached their destination of Josh's room. She tried to wait for a little while and then couldn't stand the open-ended silence, dragging her body out of bed and through the hallway, searching for Josh's room. She heard tiny whispers from a nearly closed shut door and peeked in to see Seth tucking both Sophie and Josh in, kneeling down in between the two beds.

"Don't worry," Summer saw Sophie lean up on her elbow looking at Seth, "I won't tell Mommy and Daddy that you and Summer slept in the same bed."

"Why is that such a big deal?" Seth lifted his hands in the air in question, his back to Summer's peering eyes. "Mom and Dad sleep in the same bed all the time."

"Yeah, but Daddy said it was only okay for married people and that I could not sleep in a boy's bed until I was married."

Seth laughed, shaking his head at his father's antics at being protective of his only little girl. "Dad never enforced that rule on me."

"What's enforced mean?"

"Like, umm," Seth searched for words to explain, "it just means that he never made me follow that rule."

"Then why didn't you just say that instead of enforced?" Josh probed.

Seth leaned over to tickle Josh, "Okay Mr. Smarty-Pants."

Josh laughed, as Sophie leaned over her own bed laughing and Summer could feel the strong bond between the three of them without ever seeing their faces.

"All right," Seth stood up, "Now go to bed. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Will you take us to the beach?" Sophie asked excitedly.

"Or out to breakfast down at the pier?" Josh added, equally excited.

"If you guys go to sleep now?" Seth pretended to think about it for a moment. "Sure."

Both children seemed pleased with Seth's answer as they fell back into their pillows and Seth said goodnight. Summer moved away from the door, leaning against the wall next to it. Seth tried to quietly sneak out of the room – as if trying to make up for their earlier noise disturbance – and jumped in shock at Summer standing next to him.

"Jesus, Summer," Seth took a deep breath as she snickered, "What're you doing out here?"

Summer curled an arm around Seth's shoulders. "You were taking too long."

Seth grinned down at her, deciding not to reply, and merely walked the two back towards their bedroom. They both slipped quietly under the covers, still not interrupting the comfortable silence – which, Summer took notice of; that the Seth she used to know never went this long without making at least some kind of noise – and lay there peacefully.

As much as Summer was enjoying this, just laying there next to him, she really couldn't take it. "You're not gonna say anything?"

Seth stirred next to her. "Is there something I'm supposed to say?"

"Well, no…" Summer felt her confident demeanor wearing off, "it's just you used to always have something to say. And today's been filled with a lot of… well… not somethings," she ended awkwardly.

Seth laughed, curling onto his side to face her. "Not somethings?"

"I mean, I've been doing a lot of the talking today. Not you. Like, when we're having conversations between just us. Not with other people. And that's weird."

Seth shrugged his shoulders in the moonlight. "I guess."

Summer sat up, pointing at him. "See?! You can go on and on with six year olds about absolutely nothing but you can't even say more than a few sentences to me."

"I didn't really notice," Seth sat up. "But if you want I can talk days about the newest Superman movie."

"No," Summer huffed, laying back down, "I'm just going to go to sleep."

"Summer," Seth whined, reaching his hand out to graze her arm softly, "Don't be mad."

Summer took a deep breath, making her own choice not to reply back to him. He didn't push the issue any further, instead falling back into his pillow and letting his arm fall loosely around her waist. Summer didn't push him away, but she didn't cuddle closer to his body either.

She couldn't remember it ever being this awkward with him.

Well, except for the first sex encounters they had back in '04.

She sighed. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer was back in DC a few days after that, working back in the office. Life in the agency had moved on as if she had never been absent and Summer felt herself slipping back into that dismal state she was in before she went to California.

"Erin," Summer motioned for her co-worker, "I really need to get those regulations on the HFC air-conditioning refrigerants out this week. Any way we can get the safety issues from the manufacturers today?"

Erin shook her head apologetically, "Not today. But tomorrow?"

Summer sighed, nodding her head, "Tomorrow will work." Summer then turned back to go to her desk as she noticed a curly haired man, at the receptionist's desk. She cocked her head to the side, wondering what he was doing there, and began walking towards him.

She hadn't seen him since he brought her to the airport. She hadn't said one word to him since that last goodbye over a week ago. At first she just thought they were too different now and too many things had changed for them to work out. That it was just old feelings returning from her first love. And as the week went on, she really began to believe this and forced to herself to think of different things – move on and trudge ahead in her life. But when she saw him standing there in his black suit and tie, looking all sorts of handsome, she couldn't stop the grin from forming on her face.

"Hey, Seth," Summer called out to Seth's back. Seth turned around, returning her smile.

"Well, hey there," Seth made his way over to her. "Where have you been, woman?"

"What?" Summer shook her head in bemusement.

"You think I'm gonna let us make the same mistake we made five years ago? I don't think so."

Summer swore her heart was melting.

Seth held out an arm for her to grab on to. "Come on, let's go get some lunch."

Summer beamed up at his cocky grin, putting her arm around his. "You think you're so smug."

"That I do, little darling," Seth opened the door, letting Summer exit first, "That I do."

Summer still didn't know a lot about what had happened in Seth's life for the past five years. She didn't know how he came to be this haughty – but still adorable – man who no longer used childish rambles or untimely comedic jokes to entertain others. She didn't know if he still had those Wonder Woman boxers she gave him for his birthday seven years ago or if he still believed that George Lucas was the world's best person ever. She didn't know if he thought of having children like she did or if he knew how good he was with his sister. She didn't know if he knew she never really loved any of her boyfriends after him, including Jason. She didn't know if he knew she was just in this constant state of limbo before he came back into her life, just waiting for anything to change. And she especially didn't know if he was considering them as dating now or if it was just a trial thing.

She didn't really know anything about what she was getting herself into as she climbed into the taxi with Seth, taking the right earpiece of the iPod headphones he offered her and slipping it into her ear letting Death Cab's "Passenger Seat" flood her senses.

But she did know one thing.

She was willing to find out.

And for right now, that was enough.

"…Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home
'Do they collide?'
I ask and you smile
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter…"