Disclaimer: I do not own xxxHolic. Period.

~xXx~

I breathe.

I almost tripped and later laughed at the stupidity of it all.

At the downright stupidity of me.

The shameless train of thoughts my mind was currently having – shamelessly.

Why the bloody hell did I expect so much?

I'm dying to catch my breath. Oh why don't I ever learn?

I laughed again as I heaved a deep sigh.

And eventually cried when I realized that I was alone again.

Did he really love me?

The silent falling of tears on my cheeks wildly echoed in my ears.

I was alone.

Again.

Always alone.

The only one in the world.

"Shit… Shit…" I muttered and my eyes stung again, together with my chest. A spasm of poisonous hurt and want perilously blossomed inside me.

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

I sat and leaned at the nearby wall, crashing my body.

Fast I fade away
it's almost over
Hold on

I feel my body trembled.

I dropped my heavy head on my knees and rest my thrashing mind.

Slow, I suffocate

"Shit…"

I'm cold and broken…

Alone.

It must be the cold wind that was making my knees felt weak.

Then at the corner of my head, I heard a frantic stomping on the cold ground but I didn't bothered looking at whoever was it. I was sitting at a public road after all.

Not until the frantic footsteps stopped near me.

Or in front of me, rather.

Someone must have mistaken me for a beggar.

"Yeah, right." I faintly smiled as I peeked through my wet hair curtaining my sight and almost drowned in the rain when I saw him standing in front of me.

My world slowly crumbled as I felt my tears sickly flowed again on my abused cheeks.

I'm cold and broken
It's over I didn't want to see it come to this
I wonder if I will ever see your face again

I breathe.

And I fucking cried.

Oh, Gods, I cried.

I was twenty one years old and I was still fucking crying like a whiny toddler.

I saw him dropped on his knees, the wet but rough floor scraping his unshielded skin while the wild gushing of rain continued to paint the back ground.

I waited for him to explain, or maybe to deny things. Anything. But the explanation and the denial didn't come.

Instead, he hugged my soaked, trembling body like he was saying sorry.

I don't want that.

That's why I pushed and slapped his hands away.

I bit my lips as I painfully tried to watch him trying to hold me in his arms.

I gritted my teeth as I, again, tried to squirm away from him.

I hate you.

And I know that I will find a way to shed my skin
It's simple I know that I will suffer in the end

He was giving me away.

.

.

.

I breathe an air of defeat crawling under my skin while sitting beneath the mocking rain – falling and soaking my heart and soul.

I'm dying to catch my breath. Oh why don't I ever learn?'

~xXx~