Sam glared at his thick-headed big brother, teeth clenched together hard. Dean met his stare equally, green eyes narrowed and sparking dangerously. "Dean…" Sam begun, trying to reign in his anger.
"Sam." Dean rebutted sarcastically which made Sam growl even more.
"Dammit Dean, I am tired of you using my computer to watch your porn! I actually try to WORK for cases YOU insisted I should do!" he snapped, furious. He was tired of opening his computer to look up information for a case and finding pages of moaning writhing women on his screen. Today was too much because Cas and Gabe had been right behind him and saw it all. Gabe had started cackling hysterically, sucker falling out of his mouth as he made several sexual innuendos to make Sam's ears turn red along with the rest of his face. Cas gave him a confused look and Sam couldn't take it. He didn't want to come off as a pervert who watched porn all day to the angels or anyone. He was the mature brother! Which lead to Sam storming into the kitchen to find Dean casually eating a burger as he was now. Dean blinked languidly at him and drawled back,
"Don't work on my porn computer." He then stood and threw the bag away. He made to move past Sam, but his large moose of a brother moved in the way with a glare. Dean frowned and looked up at him. "Sam, move outta the way." Sam didn't move as the angels wandered past, pausing at the scene. Gabe whipped up some caramel popcorn in preparation for a fight while Castiel tilted his head, confused by the brothers tense aura. They usually got along fairly well for humans. "Sam, I'm not gonna repeat myself, move." Dean ordered. Sam took a breath and let it out slowly.
"Stop using my computer to watch porn." he repeated slowly. Dean cracked his neck in irritation.
"Sam, a man has needs. I can't be a saint like you." The green-eyed man glared up at the hazel-eyed one.
"If you insist on always letting your dick lead-" Sam started before rearing his foot back. "Then I'll have to take care of the problem." he finished as his leg snapped forward before Dean could react, landing straight on the target between his brothers thighs. Dean's eyes widened and his breath was taken away. His bow legs buckled under him. Sam stepped away with a last, "Don't watch porn on my computer." Dean grasped his pants, face screwed up in too much pain to even scowl at the moose.
"You sonuvabitch." He hissed mentally, not able to speak from the agony erupting from his most private parts. Cas quickly strode over, head tilted in confusion and concern.
"Dean, are you alright?" he asked. Dean finally managed to glower,
"What does it look like?! It fuckin' hurts!" he howled. Castiel crouched down and held out a hand slowly.
"I will heal you Dean." He said simply before scrunching up his expression when the blonde quickly batted his hand away.
"Woah! You can't touch me there!" he scoffed at the angel, scooting backwards.
"Dean, let me help you, I don't want you to be in pain." The trench-coat clad man insisted much to the dismay of the eldest Winchester, and to the amusement of the other two viewers who were contentedly munching on caramel popcorn. Castiel crept closer still, holding a hand out with his face set in determination. "Dean...I'm going to heal you, do not deny me or things will be more difficult than they need to be." he instructed. Dean's eyes widened when he realized that the angel was dead set in touching his crotch.
"Cas, you can't be serious…"
"I am very serious Dean, you are in pain and I am going to heal you. Now stay still." Dean scuttled backwards quickly, wincing at the pressure on his sensitive parts.
"Cas, seriously! This isn't funny! You can't touch my crotch!" he yelled
"I am not trying to amuse you Dean, I am trying to heal you!" Castiel huffed impatiently, frustrated that the man wasn't cooperating with him when he was trying to help. It was something so simple to heal as well which made the situation even more ridiculous! Dean scuttled backwards until realizing he was backed against the wall of the bunker.
"Cas…" he muttered warily at the smirk on the angels face. "No!" he gave a shriek when said angel finally pounced on him. Gabriel and Sam both fell to the ground, howling in laughter at the situation and at the girly shrieks emanating from the eldest Winchester. Gabe held up his hand for a high five and the moose slapped it with a huge smirk. Cas finally got up after finishing his mission and surveyed the company in oblivious confusion, head tilted. Gabriel and Sam were cackling and giving him thumbs up while Dean gave him a horrified look that was even more hilarious with the massive blush covering his freckled face.
"I don't understand the fuss, I was healing Dean. I do all the time. Sam, I also believe your reaction was unnecessary, there are better ways to handle a disagreement." Cas muttered with a frown. Sam spluttered indignantly.
"What the Hell?! He was- he-!" he exclaimed indignantly before Gabriel decided to help the youngest man and tease their brothers at the same time.
"I think Dean is hurt again, maybe you should keep healing him!" Gabriel crowed.
"No, he is perfectly well, I have healed him already."
"No, no, I think his lip is busted. You should kiss it better! Right deanie-weenie?" Gabriel clasped his hands together and made obnoxious kissy noises which started Sam up again. Castiel frowned.
"Gabriel, that is highly inappropriate."
"Maybe you should be inappropriate." he purred to which the frown deepened.
"Gabriel…" he warned at seeing the uncomfortable look in Dean's face. Gabriel continued to made lewd gestures and noises until Castiel finally crammed a handful of salad down his throat from a nearby grocery. Gabriel gagged in horror, running out of the room. Sam looked after the fleeing archangel with an arched eyebrow, then at the other angel who was wiping his hands.
"What was that about better solutions?" he chuckled. Castiel looked at him and deadpanned,
"There is no better way to deal with Gabriel. I must go." and with that, both angels were gone and the Winchester's were alone. Dean glanced at Sam and shook his head.
"Fucking Angels."